Job Discussion Forums

jwbhomer · Joined: 14 Dec 2003 Posts: 876 Location: CANADA

'Tis the season to be jolly! Since there have been lots of very serious and depressing threads lately, I thought it might be good to look on the lighter side. Here are some (allegedly) actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny! What a pity EFL teachers can't send home report cards!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out a million others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

DistantRelative · Joined: 19 Oct 2004 Posts: 367 Location: Shaanxi/Xian

I send home report cards. Getting ready to get started on them soon.

Zhuhao,

Shawn

MO39 · Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 1:57 am Post subject:

While I'm sure that many teachers in the NYC public school system at one time or another would have loved to have written these comments on some of their students' report cards, this list reads more like an urban legend than anything else. They are funny though!

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Very interesting, jwbhomer. I found exactly the same comments on an Internet site claiming these were performance reviews for company employees, not schoolchildren's report cards.

soapdodger · Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 203

My all-time favourite is " Johnny never goes home tired"

jwbhomer · Joined: 14 Dec 2003 Posts: 876 Location: CANADA

Please notice the word "allegedly" in my OP. I'm also pretty sure I've seen those comments before. But I still thought they were funny enough to post. Twisted Evil

From the same source, I got a list of comments allegedly made to speeders by traffic cops, but I didn't keep that one.

Anyway, some of the people here need to laugh more, so...

linchobbs · Joined: 14 Aug 2004 Posts: 10 Location: Korla, Xinjiang

X is cavil, capitious and has a tendency to carp. Please look these words up.

My teacher liked c's.

X aptly displays his ignorance in class.

jwbhomer · Joined: 14 Dec 2003 Posts: 876 Location: CANADA

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

Doubly true about a student of mine.

Trying

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

alexcase · Joined: 26 Jul 2007 Posts: 215 Location: Seoul

Julieanne · Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 120

In Mexico if you don't put good comments at the snobby schools, you can get fired.