Job Discussion Forums

Mezzogiorno · Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5

Hi all,

Ok so this may make me sound like a "billy no mates", but having lived in the beautiful Campania region for almost a year, I've found it hard to make friends with the locals. It's not really gone further than friendly acquaintance level.

There must be alot of reasons, some of them cultural and I might even be up to 50% to blame Confused

, but is there a part of Italy where they're famous for not just being warm and "friendly", but friendly in the sense that they're more open to and actually want to have friendships with foreigners? I am, as far as I know, quite normal! I'm quite friendly...my italian's still basic but I get the point accross without shouting louder in English etc..so for a "normal" young guy, where would the best place be? Are large cities better or smaller towns? North or south, or central? I'd like to take this into account when making future job applications

Thanks in advance

SueH · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Posts: 1022 Location: Northern Italy

Well, I wouldn't knock friendly acquaintances: out of that can develop closer friendships.

I'm in the north where I've made some good friends over the last year. I think luck has a lot to do with it, language ability helps and perhaps so does age: at mine I'm not going to steal anyone's husband/boyfriend!

You might be better off in a more northerly university town where attitudes may be more relaxed and open. Take a trip up north and have a mooch around, you might just find somewhere that clicks.

ilaria · Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 88 Location: Sicily

Sicily is out. Very similar mentalit�, at least in smaller places - you have to really prove yourself (stay longer than a year, learn Italian well) and be proactive to make friends with some people... though not everyone is so reserved, fortunately, otherwise I'd have gone mad during my first year here!

Sue is probably right. A big university city up north might seem like a refreshing change.

Mezzogiorno · Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5

Thanks again for the advice, perhaps will try a northern uni city then

Jetgirly · Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 741

In Torino I found that everyone wanted to be my friend right away. I actually found it quite uncomfortable because I got the feeling people liked me because I was foreign, not because of who I was. A lot of my friendships with locals felt fake... they would take me out to do cool, typically "Italian" things that only locals would know about, and in exchange they would show me off to all their Italian friends. This was especially the case with men (I'm a girl). Even when they didn't directly come on to me I felt like I was a trophy. So my advice would be to be careful what you wish for... and try to make it clear that you want to be friends with someone because you like them for who they are, NOT just because you want friends who are locals.

It might help to go to a school that does a lot of in-company work, as you'll probably find that a lot of your students are young professionals of a similar age. I found that was a very quick way to meet people, and most (~75% of those around my age) of my students did want to pursue friendships outside of class. They always "made the first move" as far as that went. Also, try picking up a shift once a week at a local bar or club... you'll meet SOOOO many people that way!

SueH · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Posts: 1022 Location: Northern Italy

I'm a bit further north than Jetgirly but think my experience has been pretty reasonable, but probably a lot different in some ways in that I'm a young 52. Don't think some are used to single women of my age going out, let alone on her own. This may account for some of the offers I have received in bars (emminently refusable, all of them)! It seems some guys feel they have a reputation to maintain, and cut straight to the chase immediately - at least a lot more so than in the UK.

People I've met in other circumstances have been fine.

alexcase · Joined: 26 Jul 2007 Posts: 215 Location: Seoul

In the opposite of what you might expect in a Northern European country, it's much easier to make Italian friends in a big city- but even they won't be local friends, but people from other parts of Italy left at a loose end because all the locals are still hanging round with the same group of friends, family members and even boyfriend/ girlfriend as they had when they were three.

Tips for meeting people:
- Houseshare
- Language class of a language other than Italian and English

TEFLtastic blog- www.tefl.net/alexcase