Guy Courchesne

Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:29 am Post subject: |
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Got one for you Phil...just came in via mass email.
What a wonderful language we have! You Think English is Easy???
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the
wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce
3) The dump was so full that it had
to refuse more refuse .
4) We must polish the Polish furniture
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present
A bass was painted on the
head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things, when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
1 Upon seeing the tear in the
painting, I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in
>hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
>invented in England; or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies;
>while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for
>granted. But, if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
>slowly, boxing rings are square; and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea,
>nor is it a pig.And, why is it that writers write - but, fingers don't
>fing; grocers don't groce. and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth
>is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So -
>one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you
>can make amends, but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends,
>and get rid of all - but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers
>taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
>what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes, I think all the English speakers
>should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language
>do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send
>cargo by ship? Have noses that run, and feet that smell? How can a slim
>chance and a fat chance be the same; while a wise man and a wise guy are
>opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
>your house can burn up, as it burns down; in which you fill in a form by
>filling it out; and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was
>invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the
>human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.P.S. - Why doesn't
>"Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
>You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .There is a two-letter
>word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and
>that is "UP."It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the
>top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At
>a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the
>officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a
>report ?We call UP our friends. And, we use it to brighten UP a room,
>polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
>We lock UP the house, and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the
>little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for
>tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one
>thing, but to be dressed UP is special.And, this UP is confusing: A drain
>must be opened UP ,because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the
>morning, but we close it UP at night.We seem to be pretty mixed UP ...about
>UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in
>the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of
>the page, and can addUP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it,
>you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will
>take UP a lot of your time; but, if you don't give UP , you may wind UP
>with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
>UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .When it rains, it
>wets the earth and often messes things UP.When it doesn't rain for awhile,
>things dry UP.One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time
>is UP, so........... it is time to shut UP...!
>Oh . . . one more thing:What is the first thing you do in the morning & the
>last thing you do at night? U-P |
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