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[Just a guy]

California's New Langage - Austrionics
The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state,

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, Austrionics.).

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

[denise]

Thank you, just a guy.

I keep looking for the humor (and thankfully there's plenty of it!) in that wacky situation over there...

d

[Roger]

The step whereby TH gets replaced by Z makes it abundantly clear - ahem: klear - where these ideas originated:
In the head of a native German speaker from Austria, not Australia.

[Bookworm]

I saw this about 10 years ago when there was the big argument about what language would be the language of the EU. Germany was annoyed as, as a mother tongue, German is spoken by more in Europe than any other language (I emphasise, AS A MOTHER TONGUE).

Jesus....Australia!?! What the ....!$%^*(