Job Discussion Forums

[gonzarelli]

I'm moving back home after a few years in Japan. I'm already feeling sad that my time here is coming to an end. I'll be back to visit from time to time cuz my GF is Japanese and we're planning to tie the knot in the near future. She'll stay behind for the first few months though.

I've heard a lot about reverse culture shock and I'm pretty worried about how I'll cope. For those who've been through it, how did you cope? How long did it last? Any tips or advice will be appreciated.

[Glenski]

Have not "gone home", as home is where I live, but this is a nice book.
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Coming-Home-Craig-Storti/dp/1931930147

[furiousmilksheikali]

I've no idea where you call home. But if you are going home to Britain then forget about punctual trains; the rail timetables will cease to have any semblence of reliability. Don't expect cheerful "Irashaimase" when you walk into a shop as you may end up with some gum-chewing school dropout telling you to wait a minute as she's on the phone to her boyfriend. Expect the fact that the majority of your friends aren't really that interested in what you have been doing in Japan but are sure you'll be interested in who Gary's shagging these days.

Well, there are all kinds of things that could happen...

[Odango]

[callmesim]

[markle]

Well the best way to deal with culture shock both ways is to expose yourself to it until it stops. Basically keep moving backwards and forwards.

Probably the biggest thing to get over, as others have mentioned, is the complete lack of interest, let alone understanding, of what you have experienced in Japan. Best way to avoid this to be conscious of not constantly referring to your time in Japan in reference to everything ("Nice weather"
"Yes, In Japan you get days like this but they are different"
"You want a cup of coffeee?"
"Yeah coffee in Japan is so expensive and the coffee shops are so smoky...yadayada in Japan yadablahblahin Japanblah") Let others bring up the topic in conversation and keep it brief.

Find some Japanese activities that you did in Japan, it gives you a sense of being Japanese in 'home' setting (your GF will find these useful later as well)

Speaking of the future bride, if you are serious, get her 'home' as soon as possible, much of the culture shock will be amplified by missing her.

[JonnyB61]

Hi Gonzarelli

I know what you mean. In 1997 I went back to Brighton, England after 4 � years in Hong Kong.

These are the things which struck me:

Young beggars in their teens and twenties with blankets and dogs sitting in shop doorways asking for money. Now moved on, I�m glad to say.

Multiple face-piercings, which were unknown when I went away. Imagine my surprise at seeing people walking down the street with half a ton of scrap metal hanging out of their faces.

The general lack of respect for other people.

Alcopops. That is to say, sweet, fruit flavoured, fizzy, alcoholic drinks, for 18 year olds who wanted to drink but didn�t really like the taste of booze.

Trains which were, and still are, overpriced, unreliable, and, sometimes, didn�t even go to the destinations they were supposed to.

The demise of the Tory Government.

And on the other side of the coin:

The sky.
The greensward.
Attractive architecture built to last.
Wattle and Daub with Thatched Roofs.
Hand-pull beer pumps with shining brass labels.
Pints of foaming ale pulled by hand from English oak.
Chatty barmaids with blonde hair and big knockers.
Steak and kidney pies with flaky pastry crusts.
A general sense of fair play.
The favourite in the 3:45 at Goodwood.
The sound of leather on willow.
A dog barking in a village in Sussex being heard in a village in Kent.
The peel of church bells on Sunday mornings.
The early morning mist rolling through the dell.
Bluebells in the woods in Spring time.
Happiness.
Home.

Enough, or too much already!
All in all, it took me about a month to get used to it again.

You�re going home! You�ll be fine. Don�t worry about it.
All the best,
JB

[nomadder]

Understanding strangers' freakish conversations, not bagging your groceries yourself, driving everywhere, lots of room, mix of hair colours/body types etc., lots more entertainment opps, joking with sales clerks, different food, hand shaking, etc.....

[J.]

Asian grocery so you can get your miso soup, sushi, rice, nori etc fix.

Chatting to and understanding newcomers to your land better, sometimes better than you understand your friends/family.

Lamenting the lack of job opportunities, and wondering when so and so became Prime Minister/ mayor/TV star etc. There will be a big gap in your political/cultural knowledge if you've been gone more than a few years.

Wondering how the kids got so mature/ mouthy ( compared to the local school children), but that could just be age creeping up.

Being constantly amazed by all the fresh air and space and few people in it ( if you're outside a big city).

[ironopolis]

[TokyoLiz]

After one year in Japan, I went back to Canada. Boy, did I ever miss Japan!

Fortunately, there is a large Asian community in my home city, a Japanese supermarket, and volunteer organizations for former JETs, Japanese community groups to work with and an international airport nearby.

Keep connected. If your partner is Japanese, this is easier (s/he's motivated and motivation!).

The Japanese artifacts I brought back - cooking, language skills, housekeeping tricks, habits of mind, teaching insight - really made my life richer. I also had a community of people around me who had travelled or lived in other countries before, so the sense of being alien in the homeland was lesser than other people's experiences.

I also made friends with Japanese folk and people who'd lived in Japan or other countries.

Good luck on your return!

[Dipso]

After my first stint TEFL-ing overseas, reverse culture shock hit me hard when I went home - absolutely everything about Britain annoyed me. In particular, I found it very difficult to tune out the English around me when I was in pubs, on buses etc., which was rather distracting.

When I returned home after my second stint abroad I was anticipating experiencing reverse culture shock again and, as a result, it never actually appeared. Forewarned is forearmed and all that! I think if you can mentally prepare yourself for returning home before you leave, it really does soften the landing.

I do remember gazing at a 2 pound coin in wonder in a shop - I had no idea such things existed!

[Sour Grape]

[Sherri]

I've been back in the US for 3 years now. I did not experience reverse culture shock in any noticeable way but I was really ready to leave Japan. I think the people who feel reverse culture shock the most are the ones who really were not finished with the place they were in. Still some things made it easier for me. I left with my family so I had more stability, also there is a big Japanese community here. We can buy Japanese food and people here celebrate Japanese holidays. I am working with Japanese students and some of my co-workers are Japanese. I guess I still feel connected.

Life is much better for me here, like others said, (and having come from 14 years in Tokyo) having beauty all around me, a big house and yard, no one staring at me, a laid-back life style. I don't need to bore other people with tales of my travels and enjoying forming new friendships.

[gonzarelli]

Thanks for all the great replies! Lots of good advice.