Job Discussion Forums

[steviok85]

Hi all,
It goes without saying- gossip in any workplace is inevitable.
I generally rise above such nonsense if I know my 'colleagues' are talking about me-but I wonder if it has really affected anybody to the point where they have had to complain to the Director or even whack the idiots?

I am working in a small town in the Balkans. I am the only native speaker in the school. I am quite a quiet guy but when I first arrived I made the effort to ask the questions- the female teachers were content to sit in their group and whisper about me and not ask me anything.
Nine months on, they are still complaining about how unsociable I am. Hang on- who made the effort at the beginning ladies? I have no inclination to ask 'How are you?' to such morons when I walk into school. I certainly have no inclination to socialise with them outside of school.
Now they think I don't understand ANYTHING of their language- yet, being imbeciles, and unaware of the fact that after nine months I may have picked one or two things up, they proceed to slate me when I am two metres away from them. If I didn't need this reference, I would have a had ruddy good go at them a long time ago. But then- reality- these people are hopeless pawns in my life. They have their gossip- that is all they can do and know, so I just leave them be. I actually have ambition.
They have proclaimed in their language: 'He doesn't know anything'- 'He is a cretin'- 'He is unsociable'. Now it is not so easy to land in a new country and fit in just like that. They never helped me at the beginning. The worst person is the so-called computer technician who sits and plays poker all day and often takes the pise by asking: 'How's life?' Yes, try taking the smirk off your face as you make eye contact with the girls. Again, if I didn't need the reference- I would have clobbered him with a crowbar long ago (well you know what I mean).
Give me a break- I keep my head down and do the work.
The kids proclaim I am the best teacher in the school- jealousy.

[Glenlivet]

Every coin has two sides. " yet, being imbeciles" leads me to think that only one side of the coin has been revealed.

[naturegirl321]

Might be a cultural hting, like here if you don't give EVERYONE a handshake or kiss on the cheek, they get mad.

Do you speak the language? Maybe they're intimidated by you.

Just say good morning, talk about the weather. I wish I could give you more advice, but I'm naturally quiet that I alwasy get pegged as a stuck up snob. I'd honestly just not rather talk to a lot of people, I'm shy by nature

About socialising outside of shcool. Might help. At least invite them for a coffee, but as a group. If they turn you don't htat's fine, but the point is that you tried.

If you've tried all this then there's not much to do, wait until the end of your contract and leave.

[steviok85]

Now my burst of frustration is over, these are two valid posts.
It could indeed be a cultural thing.
I haven't bothered with the language because I knew by December that it was only going to be a one year stint. However, it does not really excuse my laziness and attempts to 'immerse myself in the culture'. Last year I did make efforts to learn the language of the country I was in.
I am just thinking: a good year's work, seen the country- move on.

[Jetgirly]

Why do you care about what "imbeciles" think or say about you? Really- if you're that much better than them I don't see what the big deal is.

I have bonded a lot more closely with the female teachers at the schools I've worked at. There are a variety of reasons. The fact that women tend to gossip more than men is probably one of those reasons. As well, I can go out for lunch with a female colleague without people asking if we're dating!

Are there any men working at your school? How do you get along with them?

[rusmeister]

Here is a fairly specific problem if you work with locals, or at least work in the same school that they do. You (talking about native speakers) are in certain ways, undeniably better than they are in knowledge of the thing that they are supposed to be specialists/experts on. How can they not be envious? They would need to be die-hard Christians or something to find the virtue to resist envy and accept the situation humbly and see you for who you are. You may be (and often are) their inferior in terms of practical teaching but that will not be obvious, especially if you are a one-year fly-by-in-the-night teacher.
They don't want to feel or more importantly, look like idiots if they don't understand something you say (yes, they should have a spirit of learning, but most people, by the time they've reached their forties, aren't so eager to be constantly taught by a young person, they don't want to be corrected on every third sentence, and so on).

It's harder if you are a man surrounded by women - which in schools is often the case. It's one more barrier to understanding.

Really put yourself in their shoes, both in and out of school.
The thing is to understand them.

[gaijinalways]

I agree with what the posters have been saying, that making an effort helps. On the other hand, people who gossip about you in front of you because they think you don't understand, fall into category of pests and just plain rude individiuals.

Sometimes it takes a step further here in Japan where your Japanese colleagues will complain about foreigners in general in front of you, until you perhaps politely mention that such conversations, if held at all, should be held in private.

[Glenlivet]

[Sadebugo]

I wonder if it is a cultural issue since I had a similar problem in Slovakia. I had been dispatched by the US government to teach Slovak military there and was immediately condemned by one of the Slovak instructors. Within the first week, she was questioning my teaching ability to both the supervisor and the students (very unprofessional). It became so bad at one point that the supervisor had to observe me to shut this person up. The observation went very well and that was the end of it for the most part. Still, when someone criticizes you like that, you start to have doubts and wonder if there is some truth to what is being said forgetting about your past successes in the field. In the end, the supervisor and I theorized it was jealousy because I had displaced her as the most popular instructor.

The other female instructors weren't particularly friendly but they never sank to the levels that this instructor did.

Sadebugo
http://travldawrld.blogspot.com/

[thecobra2006]

I don't think the problem can be related to a specific country, culture or industry. Gossip is something that will occur in every office and the best thing to do is to not get involved and just ignore what everyone says. I find that people that gossip a lot are people that I don't get along with anyway so I don't put much energy into these relationships.

[wildchild]

jetgirly

[Jetgirly]

[jdl]

Oh the skills of gossip we learn so well in junior/senior high school seem to stay with us a lifetime. The cement of gossip which binds us to each other this moment is often the same cement encasing our feet the next. It(gossip) certainly is an entertaining 'pass time' filled with soap operatic drama usually with the same farcical outcomes that have amused us around the water cooler/camp fire/coffee table since ....well the time of cavemen, as your article suggests.

I have always been impressed with a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt roughly paraphrased as follows: 'Small minds talk about people, mediocre minds about things and great minds about ideas.'

I suppose if we put gossip in a mindless perspective and recogize the 'he said/she said' as just a 'pass time' activity much of the damage would be avoided. Ah, but if our diet of information is sustained by People Magazine, National Enquirer and the water cooler chat we will surely die of malnutrition?