Job Discussion Forums

ESLgeek · Joined: 16 May 2008 Posts: 29 Location: Tokyo, Japan

Hi all,
I recently went to a small party with one of my private students. I met a guy there who's interested in taking my lessons. He told me that we could meet in a cafe or in his house. I wouldn't mind meeting him at his house, but I'm just wondering if it's a good thing to do. I know that Japan is safe and he seems like a nice person. I do teach a lot of students and I mainly teach them in cafes. I have 1 student who I teach at her home, but of course it's a woman so I don't mind. Has any female private teacher out there taught a man at his home? Do you think I should do it or should I just stick to a cafe? Any thoughts are appreciated.

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

Apsara · Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 2142 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I am a female, and I have made it a point never to teach male students in my own or their home. If you think Japan is so safe that there are no risks involved, you might want to Google "Lindsay Hawker"- she was a teacher in Chiba who was murdered by a male private student when she went to his home, just over 2 years ago. Her murderer has not been caught.

ESLgeek · Joined: 16 May 2008 Posts: 29 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I do know about Lindsay. I do realize that Japan isn't 100% safe. I just wanted to get some thoughts on this.

the yellow brick road · Joined: 16 Jun 2009 Posts: 25

I am a man but if I were a woman I wouldn't teach a man alone. Take care of your self.

slowdive606 · Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 15

Personally, I think that it would be a bad idea to give lessons in his home. Although I think Japan is quite a safe country, many crimes against women go unreported due to the shame that is felt by the victims here, and other crimes are often swept under the carpet giving the illusion that Japan is safer than it is.

spidr245 · Joined: 26 Nov 2008 Posts: 60

What the others have been saying so far pretty much speaks for itself. Also, I am not trying to sound rude but if you have second thoughts about it then I don't see why you would want to go to his home either.

mimimimi · Joined: 21 Nov 2007 Posts: 53

With one of my male students, we tried "cafe teaching" a couple of times but he didn't like it at all due to the noise level. So he suggested holding our lessons at a karaoke box at his expense. It works really well for us. It's a private space yet it's public with the in-room cameras so I feel perfectly safe. I have never nor would I ever go to a male student's home.

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

passport220 · Joined: 11 May 2005 Posts: 117

The K-room is a good idea.

Maybe another...In most American libraries you can book a study room at no cost. It is a room were the library itself holds occasional educational classes or just a general use utility room. When I walk by my local library here in Japan and at my university library, I see rooms that look like they fit the bill. I have never had a reason to inquire and find out for sure. Do Japanese libraries have such rooms?

wintersweet · Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:20 pm Post subject:

I agree--heck, for that matter if I were a male teacher and the student were female I still wouldn't do it, to avoid possible issues later. I have had private male clients who've come to my house, but a) it's MY house, my space 2) it's been after I've known them for a while 3) they've met my husband 4) I've met their wives 5) my husband is in and out 6) I keep the blinds open ... you get the picture. It may feel a little rude or paranoid, but it's just being professional: preventing both you and him from problems arising either between you OR from outsiders who may see things the wrong way.

mimimimi and passport220 have good suggestions, too. Smile

ESLgeek · Joined: 16 May 2008 Posts: 29 Location: Tokyo, Japan

Hi everyone,
OK, I totally understand what all of you are saying. I met the new student last night at a cafe. It was fine. Thanks for all your input!

Cool Teacher

Cool Teacher · Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:24 am Post subject:

Sorry! I just realized I'M not female and the OP wanted advice from females. Confused

But I still advise you to follow the advice not to go to the man's house.

You know, I heard this rumour and it might be wrong but if a woman goes to a man's house in Japan then it can be considered consent to... Shocked

Does anyone know if this is true or just a rumour or gaijins propaganda? But I heard that some courts or judges might believe this. Surprised

Apsara · Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 2142 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I doubt it would be considered "consent", per se. But it could be seen as making a conscious decision to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation- perhaps not only here but in other countries as well.