Job Discussion Forums

KarenMarie · Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 60

Help, please. The company I am in contact with wants several.
Who should I ask?

What should I avoid?

I have a problem in this area because the person who would be best-suited to write me a letter tried to get me to sleep with him (yes, very unprofessional of him...I was professional about it and, well anyway, it's worse than I care to explain here. (sexual harrassment alert)
I never reported him to anybody because I think it would have done me more harm than good, but I think he still holds a grudge because I wouldn't do it, even though he was threatening to do something that would hurt my ability to get a job if I didn't, and offering to do something that would help my ability to get hired if I did. Forgive me for not being specific, it's a small world.
So the thought of using him as a reference makes me want to give up and beat my head against a wall. It suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Principles are expensive, I guess. Crying or Very sad

I feel like I'm going to get turned down for a lot of jobs because of it.

I have a few friends and fellow students, some professors I did T.A. work for ten years ago, doesn't sound good, does it?

What are they looking for, anyway? I need to come up with a couple of letters from somewhere.

I am going to cry now.

I'd appreciate any advice you could give me.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Karen,

Sounds like you shouldn't even broach the subject with that person. Is ther no one else at that company who can vouch for you? All a recommendation really states is that you are a dependable/reliable person with a good work ethic. This doesn't have to come from a boss. If your prospective employer even has a notion of asking why you didn't get a rec from a boss, just say that person no longer works there. I wouldn't even think someone would ask, however.

What about a college professor as a reference?

KarenMarie · Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 60

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Karen,
Have you done any teacher training? What about volunteer work? You could even put someone down who was a colleague of yours but has now moved on to a management position somewhere else. I've found that the status of the reference makes a big difference to potential employers.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

If college was that long ago, I assume you must have had more than one job since then. Can't you use people from them? I also assume that you have kept a resume while you were working at your most recent job in hopes of looking for the next one, and therefore have references on that.

viddy · Joined: 07 Jan 2004 Posts: 50 Location: London, England

Karen, sorry to hear about your problems.

What kind of company are you applying for a position at? If it is one of the Big 4 schools (NOVA, GEOS, AEON, ECC), I don't think the letters of reference matter a great deal. Therefore a letter from anyone within the company (and not this creep you had for a boss) may well be sufficient, along with another letter from an academic referee.