Job Discussion Forums

Suwon23 · Joined: 06 Nov 2008 Posts: 50

I`ve been living in rural Japan (Matsuzaka in Mie) for a few months now, but I`m still having a hard time meeting new people. In other places, I would go to parties, but there doesn`t seem to be any such thing around here. The only time people socialize they go to an isolated booth at an izakaya. There don`t appear to be any social networking sites or online dating sites in Japan, either. How on Earth do people meet each other in this country? Any help would be much appreciated.

-Friendless amid the fields

iverin · Joined: 26 Jun 2008 Posts: 111 Location: Ontario

Have you tried searching Facebook? You would need to be part of the Japan network but since you live there that wouldn't be a problem. Before I left for Japan I managed to find some people on facebook who lived in the area. I know of one person who lived in Matsuzaka but she has since moved. I met her on facebook as well. Just a thought.

stillnosheep · Joined: 01 Mar 2004 Posts: 2068 Location: eslcafe

You don't mention whether you are a JET or working at an eikaiwa. If the former then get your local cultural attache (Coordinator for International Relations (CIR)) to organise a get together. If the latter get on to your local JETs to find out about the next get together (the CIR in Iga-Ueno used to organise regular meet-ups for Iga JETs plus anyone else who fancied coming along.

If you wish to meet more Japanese people socially without going via friends of local gaijin I just wish you luck. I found that, eventually I met a few genuine and interesting people in local Isakaya/bars/restaurants but it was only a few, and it did take time. And I was male and not in inaka.

Good luck.

cornishmuppet · Joined: 27 Mar 2004 Posts: 642 Location: Nagano, Japan

There are loads of social networking/dating sites. Just do a google search. Go on Big Daikon or Gaijin pot and find out which are the best ones. I have a friend who has a pretty active social life with the opposite sex purely through meeting them on Myspace. It can suck if this is your first time living alone overseas but make an effort. Join the Mie ken JET list on Yahoo groups, find out what events are going on in your area (you don't have to be a JET). Rural areas in Japan can be extremely dull unless you're into vegetables and mountain climbing but get your transport links sorted out and get down to the nearest decent sized city of a weekend.

Good luck!

mspxlation · Joined: 13 Jul 2007 Posts: 44 Location: USA

Is there any traditional Japanese activity that you are interested in learning? Even rural areas sometimes have clubs or cultural centers for those types of pursuits. Japan is very group-oriented and "connection"-oriented. Just be prepared to be at the bottom of the hierarchical heap in any group for a long time. Ask a student or supervisor for an introduction, but don't do this unless you are serious about the activity.

Speaking just for myself, if I were in your situation, I'd try to find a community chorus or take group lessons in calligraphy or some traditional instrument.

Also, if you don't speak Japanese or speak it poorly, ask one of your students or supervisors to find you a person of your own age to tutor you in Japanese in exchange for help with English. Buy a standard textbook and work through it with the other person.

You have to be more imaginative in this situation. Just hanging out in izakaya will not get you an "in" with the local society. (It's really not the best way to meet people in Western societies, either. When I moved to a strange city in the U.S. six years ago, I joined a church choir, got involved in a political campaign, volunteered for a meal program for homeless youth, and began taking classes at a gym. I have made friends in all these activities.)