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| Total Votes : 6 |
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khmerhit
Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit
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 Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 3:22 am Post subject: running with the devil |
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Dan posted this today on the china forum. It deserves a higher profile, I think. Hope it's OK, Dan.
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the other day i was out for a stroll by myself, minding my own business when these two chinese guys (about my age, kinda short, fairly chinese) come up and initiate a conversation with me. oddly enough, i was a little nervous at first because i thought maybe these two were gonna harrass me until l i finally bought a bible from them or whatever it is that chinese guys back home sell outside my post office, but it turns out that they justed wanted to find out how i got so big. The more chinese of the two guys spoke pretty good english and so he asked some the typical questions non-body builders always ask - how did you get so huge, what do you eat, why do you do that to your body, etc. etc. after a minute or two of shoptalk, he asked me if i wouldnt mind doing some flexing for him and his buddy. after several minutes of cajoling, i reluctantly gave in and gave them a taste. the less chinese guy broke out a camera and started snapping a few photos (which is fine - im used to having my picture taken like this when i compete) and the other guy, the one who spoke english, started doing some posing, too. i was having a good time and so were they, so i started to get into it a little more and so i took off my T-shirt, kinda pushed to one guy aside, and started going through the initial poses i do during routine when i compete (the only thing missing was Van Halen's "Running with the Devil", the song i ALWAYS play when im on stage). well, i dont have to tell you what a spectacle this whole thing was: on the one hand, a shirtless and huge me flexing the sh*t out of it and, on the other, these 2 chinese guys taking turns snapping photos and flexing about. in fact, it was such a scene that within minutes of going shirtless, a crowd of about 8 to 10 gathred around, all of them more than a little bit enthralled, i must say. these two old women looked like they were about to pass out when i walked up to them and gave them a monster bicep flex right in their faces. i noticed that this youngish and very hot chick elbowed her way to the front of the group so I approached her in a sexy, j. Travolta sorta way, turned around and planted my hands in the pavement, and gave her a personal BBF (boucing butt flex). I could barely make out her expression through my legs, but i could tell she was checking out the whole me (if you know what i mean) and i thought my spandex was about to burst open right then and there. after about 10 minutes i was getting tired so i called it quits. plus, i was getting bored with their requests for the same three poses again and again ("the hercules", "superman" and "the cable crusher"), so put my shirt back on and headed for the subway. upon leaving, i tried to score the digits of the chick to whom i gave an eyeful, but she was so bashful that she pretended to ignore my requests as she kinda hurried away from me. better luck next time, i suppose.Back to top
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nolefan
Joined: 14 Jan 2004
Posts: 1458
Location: on the run
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 3:43 am Post subject: ? |
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| how about a third option: "who gives a sh+t ?" |
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James_T_Kirk
Joined: 20 Sep 2003
Posts: 357
Location: Ten Forward
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 4:04 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| how about a third option: "who gives a sh+t ?" |
You're just jealous that you aren't as big as Dan!  |
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gingermeggs
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 162
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 9:25 am Post subject: |
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I'm a little perplexed....
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| ..... when these two chinese guys (about my age, kinda short, fairly chinese)... |
What is "fairly Chinese"?.... |
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Capergirl
Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1232
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:27 am Post subject: |
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Too hard to read, sorry.  |
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Shaman
Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 446
Location: Hammertown
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:32 am Post subject: |
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| gingermeggs wrote: |
I'm a little perplexed....
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| ..... when these two chinese guys (about my age, kinda short, fairly chinese)... |
What is "fairly Chinese"?.... |
Could it be that we might even use comparatives and superlatives here?
* more/less Chinese
* most/least Chinese
What exactly are the parameters in evaluation? Can one actually be more Chinese than the other in this situation? 
Shaman
P.S. Okay - I'm going back to sleep now. |
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latefordinner
Joined: 19 Aug 2003
Posts: 973
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 11:48 am Post subject: |
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| Not bad, but I'm dissapointed that Dan didn't beat up a couple of policemen. After playing Grand Theft Auto, I'm waiting for him to steal a tank or something. |
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Gordon
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 11:58 am Post subject: |
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Funny story, but I don't believe it.  |
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Aramas
Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 874
Location: Slightly left of Centre
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 1:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Capergirl wrote: |
| Too hard to read, sorry. |
My eyes glazed over about halfway through the first sentence. Is there a genre devoted to self-indulgent swaggering? |
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Shaman
Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 446
Location: Hammertown
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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I think dan's posts are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. He really does come off as cartoonish.
I envision a Popeye type, who after squeezing a can of dianabol into his mouth, flies off the handle in a 'roid rage, letting backhands fly left and right. When the dust settles, he has decimated all the Chinese who are much smaller than him.
Shaman |
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spiral78
Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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| my take: it's a beer-induced fantasy written by a shrimpy little loner in some dusty internet cafe on a Friday night (or the local equivalent). |
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lozwich
Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 1536
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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NOT THAT I'VE EVER READ ONE,
but this smacks of a fairly toned down version of one of those 'letters' one can read in certain gentleman's magazines.....  |
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Shaman
Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 446
Location: Hammertown
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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| spiral78 wrote: |
| my take: it's a beer-induced fantasy written by a shrimpy little loner in some dusty internet cafe on a Friday night (or the local equivalent). |
Voila. My thoughts precisely, spiral78.
Shaman |
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Capergirl
Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1232
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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OK, I managed to get through the entire text this time, run-on sentences and all. I'm inclined to agree with Lozwich.  |
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ls650
Joined: 10 May 2003
Posts: 3484
Location: British Columbia
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Choice #3) "Ripley's Believe it or Not?" |
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