Job Discussion Forums

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:08 pm Post subject: Toilet and Kitchen roll

Dear All

I have tried and failed every damn time.

How on this planet of senseless peeps, does one open a toilet or kitchen roll without ripping the shi-t outta it?

Myself and ........ <a friend on the forum whom shall remain nameless> was semi-drunk and knocked over a beer. We tried to mop it up kinda kwik and ended ripping the dare life outta this roll.

Only remotly funny comments only please

LA

PS Myself and 'im were laughing constantly when writing this....funny pills one thinks...

gingermeggs · Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 162

Given the tragic lack of dexterity you display on the keyboard, it is of little wonder that you can't open a simple roll of paper....or a bottle of beer.
Perhaps I am being too generous, putting all your mistakes down to "typos". Perhaps you are simply the normal sort of incoherent backpacker, who thinks tis his God-given write to teach English. We get all sorts here, especially the ones who can't hold their booze. I'm afraid that you have a steep learning curve ahead of you, lad. How are you at opening doors?

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:42 pm Post subject:

Who the feck iz you?

Firstly, The fact I've even bothered to learn 'YOUR' language is a sign of respect I feel, secondly, It's wasn't my beer that was spilt, third in line, I was trying to be funny and people agree because of the damn PMs I'm getting and four, do YOU yourself, king oh mighty have a social life?

I was in a giggly mood all day and a pri-ck brought it down. Damn troll. Gedda feck atta ear!

LA

lagerlout2006 · Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 985

gingermeggs · Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 162

[Gedda feck atta ear! ]

Shen ma????.....and you learnt my language out of RESPECT????? Respect for what?
I'm teddibly sorry it wasn't your beer that spilt...must have been a tragic experience for your friend.Male or female??? Probably a male, because females know instinctively how to open paper rolls. All I can suggest is that in future, you ask a female to pre-open your rolls, so that you don't have to bother us again with further examples of your mal-adroitness. Unless you happen to do something teddibly exciting, of course....hmmm slashing your wrists accidently while shaving perhaps...oops, do you shave yet???
Lagerlout, I did mean "write", but in the interests of our friends plea for humour, I thought I would try a little pun...my apologies.[/quote]

ls650 · Joined: 10 May 2003 Posts: 3484 Location: British Columbia

Just a guy · Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 267 Location: Guangxi

. . .. .. ... ... . ... .. ...`Asswipe��

I think you�re supposed to open them from the inside, in China anyways�
Take out the cardboard roll in the middle & pull out the paper from the middle, it works almost every time without wasting a half dozen layers.

I�ll agree that there is often a little more glue or whatever holding the roll from unraveling than needed.

leeroy · Joined: 30 Jan 2003 Posts: 777 Location: London UK

(I'm not drunk today Wink

)

Could you not just roll the (unopened) toilet roll over the offending wet area? As long as you ensure that the absorbtion is evenly spread, then the damp outer layer of the toilet roll could then be easily discarded while the inner coil remains dry, usable, and opened.

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:37 am Post subject:

I hang my head in shame....

LA

gingermeggs · Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 162