Job Discussion Forums

[spark3000usa]

Aloha all,

If any of you have some advice on my cover letter (below.) I've never written one of these before and I'm sure there are people on this board who are far more qualified than my parents to check over it!

Thanks kindly,

Mx



Dear ,

I am writing to you today as I interested in applying for insert position here. I heard from about your school from an overseas friend who is in South Korea teaching at this very moment. As a final year student at one of the best business schools in the United Kingdom, I feel I can offer your school a lot in terms of energy and effort that I can bring.

Whilst researching possible teaching locations, Seoul has by far stood out as the most appealing possibility. Reading about its vibrance and cultural history has certainly captivated my imagination and I certainly believe I would be able to call Seoul my second home after spending 12 months there.

From my time studying economics at Cardiff University I�ve learnt how to analyse extremely difficult concepts and have also had to give several presentations to professional bankers, in which our team has scored the highest mark.

Although my teaching experience has been limited so far, I already have experience in working with children and a very solid grasp of the English language. Having studied English literature for A-level (to the age of 1, I have an in-depth knowledge of the grammar and structure of the English language. From my volunteer work with the local boy Scouts association I�ve helped teach 7-8 year olds skills such as orienteering and pioneering and have also had to look after them during camping trips to other sites within the UK.

I have attached a copy of my resum� for your consideration. My email address is [email protected] and my mobile phone number is +44 . Please feel free to contact me with any further questions,

Yours faithfully,

[johntpartee]

Don't put anything negative on there, i.e., "limited teaching experience". Spin it into something positive.

[nomad soul]

I agree with keeping the tone of the letter positive. However, I see quite a few grammatical and punctuation errors in your writing in addition to overuse of the passive voice. Please proof and re-proof your final letter and have someone with strong language and writing skills proof it for you as well. One mistake can cause your letter to be tossed into the reject pile! Good luck.

[spiral78]

Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:58 pm Post subject: Any help appreciated! (First cover letter)

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Aloha all,

If any of you have some advice on my cover letter (below.) I've never written one of these before and I'm sure there are people on this board who are far more qualified than my parents to check over it!

Thanks kindly,

Mx



Dear ,

I am writing to you today (today is unnecessary) as I interested in applying for insert position here. I heard from about your school from an overseas friend who is in South Korea teaching at this very moment (at this very moment ditto - also unnecessary). As a final year student at one of the best business schools in the United Kingdom, I feel I can offer your school a lot in terms of energy and effort that I can bring (that I can bring also unnecessary. effort? what's that? qualifications and energy? skills and energy?).

Whilst researching possible teaching locations, Seoul has by far stood out as the most appealing possibility. Reading about its vibrance and cultural history has certainly captivated my imagination and I certainly believe I would be able to call Seoul my second home after spending 12 months there(certainly/certainly - and it may be considered pretentious to 'call Seoul your second home').

From my time studying economics at Cardiff University I�ve learnt how to analyse extremely difficult concepts and have also had to give several presentations to professional bankers, in which our team has scored the highest mark (is the post: teaching bankers? are you taking the team to Seoul to teach with you? In what way exactly will your study of economics add to your teaching skills in this particular context? It may - but think exactly how, and try to say it clearly).

Although my teaching experience has been limited so far (My current teaching experience includes....), I already have experience in working with children and a very solid grasp of the English language. Having studied English literature for A-level (to the age of 1, I have an in-depth knowledge of the grammar and structure of the English language. From my volunteer work with the local boy Scouts association I�ve helped teach 7-8 year olds skills (omit irrelevant skills - you can communicate effectively with this age group) such as orienteering and pioneering and have also had to look after them during camping trips to other sites within the UK.

I have attached a copy of my resum� for your consideration. My email address is [email protected] and my mobile phone number is +44 . Please feel free to contact me with any further questions, (Skip the previous sentence. 'Copies of degrees, qualifications, and letters of recommendation are available on request.' ' Thank you for your consideration of my application. I look forward to learning more about the position/your organisation/whatever).

Yours faithfully,


Styles are individual. I review CVs for the uni where I currently work, and I can say that here, it's desirable for a candidate to have done some real reasearch about our teaching approach and methodology, and to say clearly what his/her LINK to that would be. It's also useful to indicate what kind of commitment you have to the job - are you seeking professional development in the field? To what degree?

Anyway, keep in mind that what I've written is from my own specific context in terms of style - and I'm not in Asia! I'm quite ready to be trumped by teachers with experience in Korea especially and Asia in general.

[Glenski]

Sounds like a cold call letter to me. You shouldn't do that. Reviewers can spot them a mile away. Apply for a specific job and mention it in the first line of the letter, or don't write at all.

Meanwhile, your writing style has some peculiarities that I would fix. For now, here are the immediate errors. These are so outstanding that I would caution you about writing that you have a "solid grasp of the English language" and "in-depth knowledge of the grammar and structure of the English language."

I interested in?
I am interested in.

I heard from about your school?
I heard about your school.

bankers, in which...
Rephrase this dangling modifier. I wouldn't even mention it if you are applying for an English teaching job.

presentations ... mark.
Fix this mistake in parallel construction (singular/plural)

boy Scouts
Fix spelling/capitalization.

7-8 year olds
Fix hyphenation

[Justin Trullinger]

And it's a little thing- you heard from about their school from a friend...


Oh really? What's your friends name? How does he know us?


Look. It may be a little white lie, but it's transparent. If you heard about their school from a friend, what did you hear? If you didn't, why say you did?

As it stands, I would bin this if I received it.

I would recommend being concise and to the point. Send a resume, and briefly outline your situation (available from x to y date, wanting z kind of work) in a single paragraph.)

If you want to put anything personal about you or your situation in a coverletter, then find out who you are writing to. What is the school, who do they teach, what are they known for, what are their hiring requirements? If you know some of this, you can craft a letter that addresses it.

Only then should you mention having heard of their school from a friend. Because only then does it appear that do did, in fact, hear something bout the school.


By the way, I'm picky. A lot of schools where I am now WOULD hire you with your current letter.

Best,
Justin

[Gerund]

Since if there is anything in your life that should be perfect, it's your resume and cover letter, I suggest making sure you spell resume correctly. Although it's very common to see it with only one accent on the final e, it is correctly spelled with either no accents or accents on both es.

[naturegirl321]

I'd mention the name of the school in the first line and say why I made a good applicant. FOr example, if it's a uni, then say that I have 4 years uni teahcing experience.

Mention your friend by name and position. Ex, I heard about it from John Smith who teaches at ABC school.

[MrMrLuckyKhan]

good info

[Tantris]

Avoid anything negative in your message. Emphasis the good and demonstrate that you are flexible and a quick learner.