Job Discussion Forums

[SaratheSlytherin]

This relates to life in Spain and not necessarily working in Spain.

I reiterate that I realize how difficult it is for North Americans to work legally over there... I get it. But I did my Tefl course in Spain and fell in love with it. I'm going to try my best to get back.

Anyway, I was just curious about something and I wondered if anyone here would know. I realize I'm digressing a bit from teaching but I'm very curious.



What are the chances that a Spanish guy would take an American woman seriously as a girlfriend or wife?

I mean no offense to anyone but much of the stuff I've read either implies or says explicitly that American women aren't looked upon as suitable wives, that we have "mala fama," that we're not desirable.

I've studied abroad before and it seems like most people stick with "their own kind." I could be wrong, though.

I had a heartbreaking experience with a guy when I studied abroad in the past. I despise prejudice and I clarify that I'm not stereotyping any particular country. It just seems like people want a girlfriend or wife of their own background.

I do have eyes and when I was in Spain I noticed... some of the guys there are pretty amazing. I don't know how/when I'll get back to Spain. But even if I did, I worry that my chances with one of those guys would be pretty slim. What are the chances that they would be interested in someone like me?

In the short time that I was in Spain I adapted to the culture really well and felt a sense of belonging that I don't feel in the US. I'm from USA but don't really identify with US culture. Nothing wrong with it, I just identify with Latin culture more (Spanish, Mexican, etc.).

I have heard of a couple cases where this happened (one of them on here!) but it seems to be the exception.

I mean this with all respect and I'm really sorry if I offended anyone, I don't mean to. I have Spanish friends, of course, but I'm afraid to ask them because I'm afraid I'll offend them or make them uncomfortable.

I clarify that I would never dream of marrying someone for ulterior motives, for example, using them to get permission to stay in the country.

If you can help me, thanks. I haven't seen this thread elsewhere in the forums.

[spiral78]

I know one US female happily married to a Spanish guy she met while teaching there (back in the days when 'illegal' was just a word and carried little risk).



Of course it can happen.




But you can't count on it, either, obviously.




The thing is that it takes some time. Most newbie teachers start out by hanging out with other expats, and then progress into relationships with the locals. With a 90-day limit on your stay, it's pretty unlikely that you can form a romantic attachment strong enough to survive a serious separation. Not impossible, of course...but not at all likely.

I think the MA study would be a more viable option, if possible.

[ajnabiyya]

I'm American (female) and happily married to a Spanish guy - we met eleven years ago while I was studying in Madrid as a college student on a year abroad. So yes it can happen, but as Spiral says, it's not something you can plan on, so I'd definitely recommend looking for ways to live in Spain that are within your control. The government's language assistant program would be a good option for some (they place North Americans in public schools to assist in English classes for a year), and enrolling in a university degree program would be a good option for others (I understand that a student visa allows you to work a certain number of hours legally).

Good luck!

[Mrguay84]

Te quiero!

When I lived abroad I found it easier to make friends with 'fellow foreigners' (though still from different Countries to my own), probably as we all had some common ground. From a guys point of view I also felt like the locals preferred to date 'their own kind'. Hmmmm! I don't know why, perhaps it's kind of psychological??

[Mrguay84]

[SaratheSlytherin]

[SaratheSlytherin]

[SaratheSlytherin]

[quote="Mrguay84"]Te quiero!

�Me quieres a mi?
Gracias por el elogio

[SaratheSlytherin]

I think the MA study would be a more viable option, if possible. [/quote]

Thanks Spiral... I'll ask your friend Naturegirl.

When I do study a MA, I definitely want to do it in a Spanish speaking country.

I just have one concern... how old is too old to study a Master's down there? I'm worried my age would be a problem. I just turned 30... is there an upper age limit? Do you know?

Thanks for your patience

[spiral78]

No, you can do postgrad studies at any age.
The 90 days applies only to North Americans entering the Schengen zone (google it for a list of member countries) without some kind of work/living status - a student visa is for the period of time you are enrolled to study.

[SaratheSlytherin]

[SaratheSlytherin]

So, I'm sorry if I've vented a bit... I don't mean to be unprofessional. I am just so unhappy in USA. I love my family but I know I don't belong here, and it makes me sad to think of being here forever. I realize that there are people who want to immigrate here who have much to offer, and they're welcome here.

I've studied abroad in Mexico and Spain, though, and I never readjusted when I returned to the USA. People have given me suggestions for how to deal with reverse culture shock, but I don't wanna readjust. I just want
to leave the USA and go elsewhere. Most people that have taught or studied abroad experience reverse culture shock but eventually readjust. I don't belong in USA and never did.

I teach in the public school systems in North Carolina but this area has nothing to offer me and if I don't leave I'm gonna rot here.

I realize there are discipline problems overseas, too, but I have done teaching internships in Mexico and Spain and I loved my students there so much.

I've digressed a bit and vented which I know is unprofessional but I hope you'll forgive me.

I just had an exceptionally bad day and the children were exceptionally cruel to me. I can't change them and I refuse to put up with the horrible treatment and so I have decided to leave. It just frustrates me that it's so hard.

In spite of all this I'm really grateful for these ideas, I'll definitely look into them.

It's not that I don't appreciate that you're trying to help me, I really do, and I'll look into the stuff you suggested.

[spiral78]

Sara, my background and outlooks are the same as yours, except I think Georgia's even worse than NC! Well, and I had very sad kids, not cruel ones.

Something will work out. It isn't likely to be easy, or maybe what you imagine today, but, well, we do make out own futures in many ways.


I left the US almost 15 years ago, and thank god see no need ever to return. My current situation is obviously keeping me up at night (it's 4 am here in EU land) but I still wouldn't trade.

[ajnabiyya]

In reply to Mrguay84, yes, it's the Spanish government that runs the language and culture assistants program. You can google it to find out more.

In reply to Sara, no, it shouldn't be a problem if you've already graduated and are older than the typical twenty-one-year-old newbie. I'm also in my thirties (and, like you, a credentialed teacher and fluent Spanish speaker) and when I talked to a representative of the Spanish ministry of education, they said that it wouldn't be an issue - as long as I applied early in the process, I'd be very likely to get a spot. What was an issue for me, and might be for you, was the low pay - assistants are only paid 700 euros a month. On the other hand, you'd only work 12-16 hours per week and the work would be a piece of cake compared to what you're doing now, so maybe you'd be okay if you could find some supplemental income teaching private lessons (which the representative I talked to actually suggested, so it must not be illegal??).

Anyways, good luck with whatever you decide to do. I'm sure there's a solution for you!

[Moore]

Bars and parties in Madrid seem to be full of American girls with Spanish boyfriends (and American boys with Spanish girls) - seems to be working out fine for them. I say go for it, but then again I am an old romantic






________________________________________________________________________
...Jobs and language exchanges in Madrid, Barcelona, Berlin, Paris, Milan, Rome, Lisbon, Porto and Buenos Aires... www.lingobongo.com

...send your c.v. around ALL the schools in Madrid, Barcelona, Berlin, Paris, Milan, Rome, Lisbon, Porto and Buenos Aires... www.lingobongo.com/cvsender/