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Dieting doesn't work
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Capergirl



Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1232
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 1:02 pm    Post subject: Dieting doesn't work Reply with quote

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical
studies:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Canadians.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Canadians.

3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Canadians.

4. Italians drink large amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Canadians.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.



Twisted Evil
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is, however, one sure way to lose weight.

It involves taking in fewer calories than you burn off.

Beats a hundred fashionable "Breakthrough diets" involving grapefruit, any time.
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Shaman



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 446
Location: Hammertown

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I doff my cap and give a deep bow to you, dear Capes! Smile Now, I think I'll go grab myself a steak and a bottle of wine. Bon apetit!

Hedonistically yours,

Shaman
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Aramas



Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 874
Location: Slightly left of Centre

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crash dieting works. I once crashed my motorcycle into the side of a car at 120 kph, resulting in a crushed leg and a broken pelvis. Over the next 3 months I lost 20 kilos!

The 'healthy diet' thing is becoming less important anyway. The biggest killer here in Australia is cancer, which recently displaced heart disease to take the number one spot. Apparently in the US obesity has recently topped the charts.

The poverty diet seems to work well, but only if the entire country is poor too. I always wondered how dirt-poor westerners could afford to maintain such huge buttocks. Do some places pay welfare in the form of cheeseburger vouchers?
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khmerhit



Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reminds me of an acquanitance of mine in Phnom Penh. He rode a big motorcycle and often managed to drive home safely after many drinks, but would forget to put his feet on the ground when he stopped.
kh Arrow [/quote]
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khmerhit



Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lentles, anyone?
kh


http://www.abqtrib.com/shns/story.cfm?pk=RELIGION-FAITH-03-24-04&cat=LR Cool
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Aramas



Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 874
Location: Slightly left of Centre

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

khmerhit wrote:
Reminds me of an acquanitance of mine in Phnom Penh. He rode a big motorcycle and often managed to drive home safely after many drinks, but would forget to put his feet on the ground when he stopped.
kh Arrow


lol - I've done that. I've also ended some frosty morning rides by being unable to operate the brake or clutch with my frozen fingers, hence crashing into the fence in my back yard.

I worked one summer as crew on a charter yacht in a small Tasmanian coastal town. The only cop went home to another town for christmas and everyone knew it, so the roads were filled with drunk drivers on christmas day. When I arrived home from a barbecue I was so drunk that after missing the driveway three times I gave up and left my bike in the street.
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Shaman



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 446
Location: Hammertown

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dumped 20 lbs in 2 weeks with mono nucleosis. My spleen was so swollen that it was encroaching on my stomach, hence solid food was a difficulty. I survived on 2 litres of fruit juice each day. First two days after diagnosis: 23 hrs of sleep each day. Nasty experience.

Shaman
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Wolf



Joined: 10 May 2003
Posts: 1245
Location: Middle Earth

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was in Japan, I stopped eating crap food, and joined a gym. I lost lots of weight, got in shape, and really wasn't neruotic about what I ate (although I did end up muching a lot of pre-packaged salads and stuff.)

A bit of effort and discipline was all it took. Oh, and time.
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khmerhit



Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whilst in Cambodia, sitting in a cafe, I met an Aussie ocker who was on his way from Oz to British Columbia, where he was to start a job as a treeplanter, one of the hardest jobs in existence. He was in his late forties, early fifties, I'd say. Bet he lost some weight. Shocked
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colin



Joined: 14 Apr 2003
Posts: 45
Location: You mean right now?

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 4:57 am    Post subject: lazzy Reply with quote

I decided to get into shape. But the shape I'm getting into is a circle.
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denise



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Come on, boys and girls! All you need is a healthy vegan diet! So delicious! Yay!!!

d
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Capergirl



Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1232
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, everyone go back and reread. The post wasn't really about diets! Laughing


@Shaman...I can relate to that experience, only for me it was 15 lbs. I could have passed for Callista Flockhart! Wink
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Lanza-Armonia



Joined: 04 Jan 2004
Posts: 525
Location: London, UK. Soon to be in Hamburg, Germany

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank God my first lingo is Espanol and not English. !!!Vivir LA!!!
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Aramas



Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 874
Location: Slightly left of Centre

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

denise wrote:
Come on, boys and girls! All you need is a healthy vegan diet! So delicious! Yay!!!

d


So what do the friendly aliens of the Vega system eat anyway? Are there many Vegans here on earth? Is it really part of an Illuminati (led by JFK or Elvis - I forget) plot to rule the world? Shocked
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