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eslteach
Joined: 28 Sep 2010
Posts: 94
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 Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:59 pm Post subject: Can't Have Guests/Must Be Home Before 11? |
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I just learned of the rules that I must follow, living in the teacher's apartments at my university.
I can never have guests, male or female.
The doors lock at 11 pm and nobody comes in or out after that.
This is really causing some problems. I don't think that normal adults live like this. How common is this in China? Do you have the same rules? Is there any way around this?
It is really making it so that I dont think I can work here. |
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dragon777
Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 163
Location: Christmas Island
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| Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Had the same rules...refused to follow them. It was that simple. It is really amazing when you say 'NO' way. |
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johntpartee
Joined: 02 Mar 2010
Posts: 3258
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| Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Every time it's been mentioned in a contract that I've seen, it always says that it is "recommended.............". I come and go as I please, I see whom I please when I please, I don't try to hide it. Never been a problem. |
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xi.gua
Joined: 15 Jul 2010
Posts: 170
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| Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Same as the others. It's a little unrealistic to have those kind of rules. They're just guidelines, and so long as you're not coming home at 4am constantly no one is going to care. The school can't really be that stingy about guests either, I guess they could mean people staying the night at your place, but even then, if I have a friend that needs a place to crash, i'm going to accommodate them. Hell they give many of us two bedroom apartments anyway. |
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DixieCat
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 263
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:06 am Post subject: |
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| You know the old saying bout being under someones roof...always negotiate off campus housing and preferably a housing allowance. Do these kind of things yourself and you will be much more free to enjoy you China experience without the prying and often times meddling eyes of your Chinese caretakers, FAOS and other near do wells that are trying to control you. Don't put up with the nanny attitude and excuse given by many FTs here tht the school is responsible... |
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kev7161
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 5880
Location: Suzhou, China
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:26 am Post subject: |
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We had a teacher a couple years back who loudly rode his motorcycle into the school gates and then back to the teacher's dorms - - often around 2-3AM. Not only were there other teachers living on the school grounds, but many students as well. He also brought back one "girlfriend" after another for nights of revelry. Due to these actions and other unfortunate things, he was let go fairly quickly.
I think schools mandate these sorts of things as a general guideline. If you are quiet and discreet and establish that your private life is just that, private - and not out there for the rest of the school to share - then you'll probably be okay. But I wouldn't ASSUME anything and, yeah, it's a pain when they inform you of these "rules" AFTER you've signed your contract. It's a learning process. Next time you'll know to negotiate off-campus housing. |
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Zero
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
Posts: 1402
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:42 am Post subject: Re: Can't Have Guests/Must Be Home Before 11? |
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| eslteach wrote: |
I just learned of the rules that I must follow, living in the teacher's apartments at my university.
I can never have guests, male or female.
The doors lock at 11 pm and nobody comes in or out after that.
This is really causing some problems. I don't think that normal adults live like this. How common is this in China? Do you have the same rules? Is there any way around this?
It is really making it so that I dont think I can work here. |
Well, you didn't say, but from the feel of your post, it SOUNDS like you are an unmarried young person entertaining thoughts of bringing young women back to your apartment and making love to them. (Or young men. That also wasn't clear.) Anyway, I recommend against this. Your body is not some kind of a roller coaster, there just for you to have a good time with. Neither are the bodies of the young ladies of your host country. I would just cool it in my room in the evenings, put in a little extra time on lesson planning, and try to clear my head of unclean thoughts, including those of hot young Asian ladies parading around your room drunken and unclothed.
Good luck! |
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DixieCat
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 263
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:16 am Post subject: |
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the above recommendation not withstanding, when the opportunity strikes there are often bath houses where rooms are indeed for rent; many times offering an array of pleasant "noshables" for you and your guest to enjoy.
| Quote: |
| I think schools mandate these sorts of things as a general guideline. If you are quiet and discreet and establish that your private life is just that, private - and not out there for the rest of the school to share - then you'll probably be okay. |
My first employ did just this and after several broken doors where FTs decided that the rules were too restrictive when they arrived late and wanted to crash, it was discontinued. Over reaction in the form of school rules should be dealt with quickly as your adherence to this rule could be seen as weak and submissive. |
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The Great Wall of Whiner
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Posts: 4946
Location: Blabbing
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:32 am Post subject: Re: Can't Have Guests/Must Be Home Before 11? |
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| Zero wrote: |
| Your body is not some kind of a roller coaster, there just for you to have a good time with. |
Well, what someone does to their own body is their own business, yes? |
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The Great Wall of Whiner
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Posts: 4946
Location: Blabbing
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:34 am Post subject: |
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I understand the 'noise' aspect, but butting in on other peoples' private affairs is... restrictive, anti-freedom, overbearing, and dictorial (IMHO).
I would never ever ever live in 'teacher's accomodations' for this very reason. |
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flyingscotsman
Joined: 24 Mar 2010
Posts: 339
Location: Suzhou, China
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:46 am Post subject: |
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| if it's not in your contract and you didn't agree to it then this rule doesn't exist. |
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DixieCat
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 263
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:23 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| if it's not in your contract and you didn't agree to it then this rule doesn't exist. |
Usually the contract have some catch all phrase that will cover this kind of situation. |
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johntpartee
Joined: 02 Mar 2010
Posts: 3258
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:39 am Post subject: |
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| try to clear my head of unclean thoughts, including those of hot young Asian ladies parading around your room drunken and unclothed |
Some pretty vivid imagery there. |
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7969
Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 5782
Location: Coastal Guangdong
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 11:28 am Post subject: |
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| eslteach wrote: |
| The doors lock at 11 pm and nobody comes in or out after that. |
I'm curious which door is locked.
all teachers accommodation i've seen has been in the form of individual apartments with a single entrance, and the occupant has a key and comes and goes as they please.
are you talking about the school gate being locked at 11? or are you in some kind of apartment with a main entrance on the ground floor through which everyone has to pass and that is locked by someone else and you can't get in after 11 because they wont let you in? if the former, look closely. those school gates are not always locked, they're just closed and the latch is only put in place to appear locked but in fact can be opened easily as the guards snooze away.
before moving lock stock and barrel off campus, just ask the FAO or whoever it is that's in charge of your daily affairs if they can change their policy regarding visitors.
the FTs at one place i worked in the past were faced with a similar dilemna. all it took was for one of us to approach management and ask politely for them to change the policy. they did. the key though is to do it calmly, politely, and respectfully, but from what i've seen of the esl crowd in china, there are a good many of our number who are completely incapable of that. |
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Miles Smiles
Joined: 07 Jun 2010
Posts: 1294
Location: Heebee Jeebee
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:23 pm Post subject: |
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Just be discreet. I've got similar rules POSTED on a 20"x40" placard near my door telling me that all guests must leave by 10:30 pm, reminding me of local morals, etc., etc., etc.. Guess what? There are two HUGE hotels on the edge of campus as well as at least a half a dozen hot pillow joints just outside campus. The FAO told me that if I have overnight guests, I can stay there.
Don't rock the boat. If you don't complain, and don't do anything to draw attention to yourself, you won't cramp your lifestyle. Your employers understand that you are human, and for the most part, look the other way as long as you don't disturb anyone and do the job that you are expected to do. |
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