Job Discussion Forums

[breacan]

Hello,

This is a general question I have about life overseas.

When do you decide that you really just don't like a culture? I know a lot of it could be attributed to culture shock/bad mood/etc, but how long do you feel it would take before you know for certain that it is not you, it's the place you are living?

[spiral78]

Well, in a sense, it's always 'you,' right? Because obviously many other people live wherever and like it quite all right.

You could think of a foreign culture as an outfit of clothing. You might have a shirt that's a bit tight under the arms, and the toe of that right shoe rubs your foot the wrong way. Probably bearable. But add a scratchy waistband, constricting tie, trousers that chafe in sensitive areas......

If when/if you get to the point that the figurative outfit you have to put on every day to live (wherever) is so uncomfortable that it constantly bothers you, then the culture/country simply isn't a good fit for you.

As with new clothing and shoes, it's always best to give it a good try - such things often loosen up and get more comfortable with a bit of wear. If they don't - probably a good idea to change situations.

[spiral78]

As for how long it takes, I think that depends on the place and the degree to which it is foreign to you. For example, if you are a visible minority in the new country - or not. What percentage of locals speak some English in real life (outside the classroom)? How different is the food/activities/local transit/etc?

Generally speaking, it takes some time to establish normal daily living routines and to juggle a new job. I would guess that most people really need a full 10-month contract period to get established somewhere enough to know if the culture will be a reasonable fit or not. The first few months are always challenging.

Here's an interesting in-depth discussion of culture:http://forums.eslcafe.com/job/viewtopic.php?t=60225&start=45

[breacan]

Hi,

I like your clothing analogy; I think that's what I mean. Yes, it's me, because other people are happy enough. Maybe I should have said something like 'how do you know you're not just going through a difficult patch?'

I've been here for nearly two and a half years. I was just wondering if that was enough time to decide.

[spiral78]

Probably, two and a half years is enough

Are you not liking many things? I'd be curious where and what....but obviously up to you if you want to elaborate.

[MotherF]

I agree with spiral--two and a half years is probably enough!
I was thinking like you'd been there less than six months.

(warning generalization follows)
I think the first six months is all learning, the second six months is settling in, if you don't enjoy the third six months, then it's a problem.

(like Spiral said, how different the place is from your home country plays a roll as does how easy it is for an outsider to live there--for example if the local language is a romance language, you can probably read the words on signs--even if you don't know what they all mean--In Japan, I was amazed at how easy it was to go about day to day life without being able to read any of the signs, but when I came back to Mexico after Japan--it was a relief to be literate again!)

[naturegirl321]

It depends on the person, but sometimes it gets real bad. I knew the point came for me in Peru when I had to start carrying rocks in my purse to protect myself and asked my husband for a divorce just so I could leave..

Other people simply withdraw, only hang out with foreigners, drink, immerse themselves in something, etc. You'll know those, don't worry.

[natsume]

[naturegirl321]

[Chuckie O]

In the TEFL class I just took, the teacher gave us a graph showing how nearly 100% of people go through a dip in their enthusiasm and outlook on the culture they have settled into. It starts out high, going down and down untill it hits bottom, then climbs back up near the end. Maybe you are just in the down part of it.

[posh]

[breacan]

I am in Glasgow. It is...unpleasant, to say the least.

I already hit bottom, last year, but decided to give it another shot. I'm just not enjoying life here very much. I realize it isn't the most exotic foreign country and there's no language barrier but it's still a fairly difficult place to live. I'm sure other people are happy enough living here, but if so, I can't find them. A friend of mine recently said 'You eventually just accept that everyone's an ***hole'.

[naturegirl321]

[Perilla]

[jimi1999uk]