Job Discussion Forums

[denise]

After a few coctails, I told a friend of mine something that has been bothering me for a while... (Damn, I hope I don't regret posting this!!!)

I'm not entirely sure I like Japan. Sure, there are things that I like about my school (mostly the awesome & qualified colleagues), and there are things that I like about the EFL teacher lifestyle, but there are very few things specific to Japan that I really like. Yeah, the onsens (public spa/baths), but I imagine I could do without those if I were living in a place that in other respects I liked more.

My problem is that I always try to let Rational Thought override Emotion. I have a Master Plan according to which--mostly for financial reasons, but also for reasons of professional development (I want to be here long enough to see improvements in my teaching) I will be here for three years. I've already signed on for a second year, and unless things take a drastic turn for the worse, I will stick around after that.

But still, something about Japan just doesn't appeal to me. I have already decided that once I'm done here, I will do what I've always wanted to do and head to South America. Chile, specifically.

What would you guys/gals do (or what have you done) if you realized that you weren't happy in your current position? Would you bail, or would you rationalize and stick it out? (I will be here for at least another year, since I've signed the contract and am not nearly unhappy enough to break it.) I tend to rationalize things--not always healthy...

Maybe I'm just having a rotten day. Maybe tomorrow I will realize how much I love Japan.

d

[Lanza-Armonia]

If you are mearly questioning yourself, then stay put. Like you said, cocktails, friends and deeping thinking are great on their own in little doses, but don't mix them. Wake up tomorrow, smell the air when you're not pi$$ed and make an informed descion. If you're still unhappy, naff off to Surameric�

LA

[shmooj]

Why Chile... that country seems to crop up in our lives a lot recently so that jumped out at me...

[denise]

Shmooj--

I confess that I haven't thoroughly researched Chile. Its appeal is based on:

a) its location--ever since I started studying Spanish (about 16 years ago) I've wanted to head down south

b) its relative stability compared to other South American countries

c) the Andes, and my new-found love of winter & winter sports (seriously, I looked out my window a few weeks back at all of the snow and wondered how I ever did without it in my beautiful California)

LA--yeah, I suppose I should think about it a bit more once I sober up... Damn those girlie drinks for clouding my judgment!

d

[Celeste]

Denise-
How long have you been here? Are you hitting a culture shock milestone? I have been here just over 18months, and I am desperately wanting to be elsewhere. I am also rapidly approaching 30 and am questioning the whole life-plan thing. 18 months ago, Japan for 3 years was a good plan for me, and I intend to see it through because the reasons for it are still valid (money, 9 to 5 teaching job, learn japanese.). My heart is in other places these days, and I suppose that a lot of that has to do with me trying to find the meaning of it all. (By the way, I have a glass of wine on the go right now and it is not my first this evening....)

[Gordon]

My oh my the girls are at the drinks tonight.

You could be feeling a number of things Denise, besides disliking Japan. Like Celeste said maybe it's cultureshock, it's been about a year right? You may also need to go on a holiday too (somewhere out of the country). I just spent a month in the Philippines and it has done wonders for my outlook on this place. I know most people can't take off like that, but even a few days somewhere can help.
We all get sick of Japan at times. I say stick it out for your 3 years. My contract is up for renewal soon and I'm going to stay for a 3rd year if they'll have me. How time flies.

[lozwich]

Wow, I can really empathise with you Denise, although my situation is a little different.

I came to Mexico to live because, after a lifelong fascination with the place, I came on holiday for 2 months and liked it so much that I thought I wanted to stay. Only thing is, the reality of living here is so much different than bouncing around as a backpacker, and I've decided to leave in July, by which time I will have been here for a year. I plan to go to Spain, so that I can keep the Spanish thing going.

The only thing is, in the last week or so, I've been thinking, maybe I just live in the wrong place in Mexico. Maybe if I moved to somewhere that offers me a bit more of the things I like to do, I would be happy. But I just don't know. Could this all be related to culture shock, and not rational decisions like I thought I was making?

LA, how can a person tell if they are merely questioning themselves, or making informed decisions? I feel like I'm making decisions so that I feel better with my lifestyle, not necessarily job prospects and so on. If that's the case and I'm suffering from the ravages of culture shock, how can I tell what's right and what's just reacting to what's going on around me??

Oh h e l l. I wish I had a glass of wine just now!

Have a good day... in spite of it all...

Lozwich.

[khmerhit]

Dear Lozwich,
i have the solution for what ails you--it's called Cambodia.


Very similar to Mexico, but much smaller, easier to figure out, very noice people, more foreigners in one place (Phnom Penh) and possibly cheaper too, tho Im not sure. Why not try it and see?

And @Denise--when you arrive in Chile, could you kindly post an entry in the Chile forum?

all grooviest
kh

[C76]

This is a very interesting topic.

I haven't even left to go anywhere yet. But still, in my heart, I know I'd rather be in one region than another. Personally, I wouldn't mind going to Japan to teach. Yet, like you, denise, I'd rather be in Latin America. I know some Spanish. Plus I've taught students from both areas. That alone was enough to confirm my preference.

As you think about it...I'm curious. Is the urge to leave very strong? Do you think that a break--as others have suggested--would make things better? Are your reasons for staying truly as deep as you believe they are? (Please don't flame me. What I mean is...Who's to say that you won't be able to develop professionally elsewhere?)

Oh man. This is scary. This thread reminds me of my own personal dilemmas. I hate knowing that I want something else, but not being sure of what it is...

[Wolf]

Perhaps I'm not the best person to advise.

But I did live in Japan for three years. And did so without ever taking a vacation (well, never more than a day trip to Mie or Nagano.) In fact, I haven't had a vacation (including back home) in more than four years.

My last year in Japan wasn't very enjoyable. Part of it might have been losing my job and the portracted job hunt afterwards. And having ambitions beyond teaching at an eikaiwa.

But then, without a real break, I've spent more than a year in a place far worse. Well, worse in terms of how much I like being here. If I never had gone, I would have doubted any decision to remain in Japan.

For what it's worth, if I ever had a chance to go back with a halfway decent job, I'd take it.

But then again, that's what I know I want to do. Some things I remember liking about Japan (things I don't have a hope in hel l of enjoying here in China:)

-Volunteering at elementary schools.
-Volunteering at radio stations.
-Traditional Japanese concerts, held for the benefit of elementary school kids, but willing to let me in, and for free to boot.
-Language school, including the time our class was on TV.
-Joining a hobby group and being casually accepted (it was, after all, a long standing hobby I knew a lot about.)
-Japanese entertainment in the form of anime (hey, I'm an otaku.)
-getting in line on new year's eve to ring that bell.
-The hanabi evenings. Not the hanami ones, though.
-going hither and thither and attract less than 1/50th the attention that I do now.

I found that one of the secrets of enjoying myself was to know the langauge well enough to take part in events going on around me.

It's your life, but it might be best to make a decision while sober, and after a short break of some sort.

[dmb]

@khmerhit, Cheers mate. if we ever meet I'm owe you a beer. I had a bet with a friend about how you would respond to this thread. I predicted that you would recommend Cambodia . You didn't disappoint. Thank you

[johnslat]

Dear dmb,
Don't know if it's relevant, but according to the doctrine of the Catholic Church, it's a sin to bet on a "sure thing". So, if you're a "Papist", add that one on at your next confession.
Regards,
John

[FGT]

Don't make a hasty decision (and I gather you are not - another year's contract signed, determination to see it through) BUT if, in the cold grey light of dawn, you are truly unhappy there (or even unsatisfied), why not go somewhere you feel drawn to? You have one or two years' experience in Japan to put on a CV, you move onward and upward by changing the geography but staying in the same field. You would not be seen as a failure, you would be seen as someone who wants to progress and knows what's best for them.
Deep breath, long thoughts, don't panic. Good Luck. ALL WILL BE WELL AND ALL MANNER OF THING WILL BE WELL.

[denise]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. It's the morning after now, and I am groaning at the unwashed dishes and remnants of girlie drinks in my kitchen. But no throbbing headache, at least.

I think it's a combination of culture shock + nearing 30 (if I do stay for that third year I'll spend my 30th d-bay here) and still being single + knowing that I'm here primarily for the money when my interests have always been elsewhere + getting myself entangled in a weird non-relationship with another teacher that is quickly going sour + constantly feeling like I'm banging my head against a wall trying to get my students not only to learn English, but also to think for themselves--I've been feeling like my colleagues and I are doing totally thankless jobs.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. !Ay!

d

[ntropy]