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English Language Changes

 
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btsmrtfan



Joined: 01 Jul 2010
Posts: 193
Location: GPS Not Working

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:14 am    Post subject: English Language Changes Reply with quote

Friend of mine sent me this.

Interesting concept:

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."
Laughing
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johntpartee



Joined: 02 Mar 2010
Posts: 3258

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
The Chinese have been doing that for years. Ach Du Lieber!!
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spiral78



Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a joke that's been around for at least a decade. A copy of it hung on the billboard in our Dutch LC gathering dust since circa 2002 until someone threw it away when we moved offices in 2010.

Or maybe it's for real and the EU is moving at its usual highly efficient rate of speed to implement it Shocked Cool
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