Job Discussion Forums

[lfclouds]

How do you deal with students who ask you for money.....I dont mean like a few kuai but 50-100 or more....especially if they ask several times.

I mean....the money isnt much to me, but I wonder what effect it could have on them(I teach kids)

Anyone?

[anthyp]

What? Don't give them money. Deal with this like any education professional would in your own country: tell them firmly that it's yours, and if you have to get angry with them for asking again, do so. They'll back down once they see you're serious about it. Besides you don't want to give in to kids on something like this. I mean if you do give in they might think they can get away with anything.

[Teacher Lindsay]

Pathetic!

[nicdoering]

Ifclouds, despite Teacher Lindsay's response, I can understand why you ask the question. I haven't had requests for money from my students, but I have from one close friend. She earns one fifth of what I do, and often makes comments that make me think she's jealous of what I earn. When it comes down to it, however, I think most Chinese accept the fact that foreigners earn more than they do and that mostly this money is necessary not only to attract foreigners to work in schools at all, but also in order for us to survive for a few weeks once we return to our countries (or it will be for me as I don't have much in the way of savings at home). I'm sure we all feel guilty sometimes, I know I do, but giving out handouts to a few isn't going to solve any of the larger problems faced by your students and the millions of poor in China, and in fact in your classroom would create them.

Which reminds me of another question - does anyone out there support a Chinese charity? Actually, I'll start another thread, I don't want to hijack yours!

Nic

[anthyp]

Thanks for the bit about starting another thread, nic. It never fails to annoy me whenever a post gets hijacked, whether I had any real interest in it or not.

We are talking about giving money to students here, and children no less, and that is a huge mistake. There's a difference between handing out small change to your friends, and passing out money in class. Again if your students think they can run right over you, they'll probably try to. Your students won't respect you if they know that they can get away with asking for, and receiving, money. I mean what kind of teacher does that? So just avoid giving in and you'll be happier in the end.

[Teacher Lindsay]

anthyp

1

"It never fails to annoy me whenever a post gets hijacked, whether I had any real interest in it or not. "

Obviously, you are easily annoyed AND have a strong desire for others to conform to YOUR standard of appropriateness.

2

"Your students won't respect you if they know that they can get away with asking for, and receiving, money. I mean what kind of teacher does that?"

I totally agree with you, hence my original reply "pathetic".

Cheers

[anthyp]

Dear Teacher Lindsay,

I never said anything about your curt response to the OP. I agree with you that serious teachers don't even consider giving money to their students, but still we should try to be helpful to those who ask for our advice. Or do you post on this forum for other reasons besides seeking advice and offering it? Anyway I think we've answered the question sufficiently - don't give money to your students.

[Ger]

When I worked on the mainland, some of my junior one students (the particularly cheeky ones) used to ask me for money.

I think they may have been taught that this is a culturally unacceptable question/request to make of a foreigner and they want to try it out to observe the reaction of the foreigner. Just tell them you'll give it to them "later", of course "later" will always be "later"!

Another thing those students used to do was ask me to buy them cans of drink and snacks from the on-campus tuck shop, because they were not allowed to buy stuff themselves during certain times and when the baoan were around. I did it once and told them I wanted them to pay for a few cans of coke for me for my troubles. In fact, it wasn't in anyone's interests for the students to be forbidden from buying stuff. It wasn't in the tuck shop owner's interests not to sell to customers (and the owner would do deals through the back door. The only think the students learned was how to buy on the black market. It wasn't in the baoans' interests to prevent the students from buying stuff either. The baoans would take money in return for agreeing to turn a blind eye. It wasn't in the students' interests not to buy because they didn't like the food at the boarding school and they would go hungry otherwise.

Go figure as to why this rule existed in the first place.

[Roger]

Don't even entertain any such requests. Just laugh at them. It's a ridiculous idea, really.
They most likely are the only cvhild in their families, and they will therefore get 3 to 5 times what their predecessors used to get in terms of pocket money from their parents.
These days, Chinese kids are extremely obnoxious and rude, not to mention greedy and materialistic.
Actually, many of them get more pocket money than some Chinese teachers earn in salary a month! That's no exaggeration. Just ask them. Don't be too shy!
They will also get their lishi red packets filled with money during the spring festival next year. Don't pity them. Money is not their biggest need!

[lfclouds]

Thanks for all the responses!

Teacher Lindsay, thanks for not bothering find out the full story before judging me.....I now know to keep clear from you at all times and I didnt even need to get in an argument!!!!

Anyway,

I teach 5-14 year olds.
The student in question is 13, last december she told me it was her birthday and I shoud give her some money.........I said no.
Last night...she told me the same thing...I said no.

Just wondering what the general opinion was.

Cheers.

P.S..... Lindsay: pathetic. Look before you leap, smartass.

[Teacher Lindsay]

Ifclouds

Originally you wrote, "..........deal with students .....", especially if they ......" and " ...... effect it could have on them.".

But now it's only one student, right?

You also wrote " .....especially if they ask several times.."

[several - an indefinite number more than 2 or 3]

But now it's only two occasions, right?

Finally, if a single student asked for money on his/her birthday why didn't you state that in your original post?

I think your last message is a pathetic attempt to justify your original, inane query.

Cheers

[lfclouds]

haha!!!

justify your unnessecary mockery in any way you see fit my friend.....I have no real quarrel with you.

I said "they" because I was not asking for specific advice regarting my circumstance.......as you can see I already have my own opinion.

I must admit, it was my personal opinion..........I thought (from a common sense point of view) that it would be stupid to give the monney.

But I was interested to know how others deall with it( yep....simple as that ....can you believe it?), however, now I find myself bickering over weither or not I misused the word "they"


PS.........if you were the kind of person who was about to post a reply concerning how I spelled "regarding" or "money"......then kindly dont respind..............whoops :"respond" ...........notice any more mistakes?


haha......just messing with you of course...no hard feelings.......may I suggest the "look before you leap" strategy once more though?

[lfclouds]

Oh!!.....and with regard to the "several" issue. She did ask another time, I didnt think it was a needed fact until you started nitpicking......or is it knitpicking?...hmmmmm

It was the birthday thing I was highlighting.........the obvious fact that she was trying to use me. Silly really. She even got the best student in her class to say some of it for her...they dont normaly hang out...the best student is more nerdy and...........well.........you know the way.


By the way guys.........I'm in the sticks here...so most of my students are spoiled.
NOT all of them

Anyway...I already know of my situation.

The reason for the OP was to learn if otherses'ses's

[senorwaq]

I think Lindsay's got some chopsticks up her jacksie, talk about tetchy..
We new teachers need support. I know quite a few chinese people and they borrow large quantities of money off each other all the time. It all part of that there guanxi (spelling?). I find it pretty uncomforable myself and I've had to say no firmly once or twice.
But kids I don't know about, so I'm not trying to lecture.

[Teacher Lindsay]

Ifclouds