Korean Job Discussion Forums

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

OK, a student came to class today crying. It's end of term test today, so she did her test and I talked to her afterwards, using my OK Korean.

I found out that yesterday (yesterday being the end of term, so no school lunch) her mother gave her kimbap for lunch - which is OK.. I often eat kimbap for lunch... but according to her, she had bread for dinner..

Then today, like I said, she came to class crying and after some probing, she said her mother got very angry with her and kicked her out (she got to school at around 12, we start at 1pm) without lunch, and that she was not to return home until after 2.30 because the mother was going out to lunch with a friend and she wouldn't be able to get in...

The father apparently is away in Indonesia on a business trip and will come back this evening.

I told the Korean teachers all this and they were all sceptical - they seemed to think she was lying.

May be I am naive, but was she lying or was she telling the truth?

Either way, it has quite unsettled me because I feel really sorry for her..

Qinella · Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib

Maybe you could call her mother and find out what happened? I doubt a student would be crying and making all that commotion for a joke.

Your coteachers sound heartless.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

Kids lie for other reasons than just making a joke. It's definitely worth looking into, but if you question her parenting abilities expect to see her kid yanked from class immediately.

blynch · Joined: 25 Oct 2006 Location: UCLA

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

I asked the student her father's name and where he worked.

It turns out that my husband knows her father - they worked in the same research institute.

My husband is going to call him up and ask what's going on.

I gave her 1000 to buy kimbap...

jaganath69 · Joined: 17 Jul 2003

spliff · Joined: 19 Jan 2004 Location: Khon Kaen, Thailand

bellum99 · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: don't need to know

In Korea..family matters are not to be intruded on. You may end up with an insane mother and father on your butt. Just stay out of things like this. Unless you know for sure about physical and sexual abuse then just stay out of it. Why put yourself at risk?

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

I thought being a teacher was more than just simply teaching?

I thought being a teacher meant that you should care about the student's well being (in the Western sense, not in the Korean sense).

I truly love all my students, even if sometimes they drive me nuts and as a mother myself, I simply cannot understand why any mother could kick her 7 year old daughter out of the house just because she was angry with her; or that she would go out to lunch herself without taking her daughter.

I don't think my husband will really call the guy up, although they do know each other quite well when working together.

All I wanted to do was to voice my concern - this is how I was raised at school and at home and I cannot change that. Nor do I really want to. I know in the end there's not much I can do but it doesn't stop me from worrying.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

It depends on where you teach. Hakwons are for-profit institutions, so the important thing is satisfying the paying customers. The students' welfare is secondary to that. One reason I'm not going back to that industry.

poet13 · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:56 am Post subject:

"I thought being a teacher was more than just simply teaching?

I thought being a teacher meant that you should care about the student's well being (in the Western sense, not in the Korean sense).

I truly love all my students,"

You're my new favorite person. All hail tzechuk, long live tzechuk.

My boys are MY boys, and I care very much about them both in and out of school.

jmbran11 · Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Location: U.S.

It's good that you showed concern and got the student to talk to you, but what you are describing isn't really abuse. I see middle school students walking the streets at 11 pm when I'm coming home. I think a large part of parenting here is just keeping your kid occupied somewhere. I think you should avoid confrontation. Befriend the kid a little, offer her food or a little cash when you think she needs it, and give it a few days to see if it blows over. After all, there really isn't any nice way for your husband to call up this guy and say, "so, your wife's a crappy mom, huh?"

If it gets worse, then worry. It's possible that the other teachers just didn't think it was a big deal.

JongnoGuru · Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep

Trying to remember what life was like when I was seven. I didn't grow up in one of these big, noisy, crowded, polluted, high-traffic-death-rate Korean cities, so this may not be a fair comparison. But our parents gave us kids the boot on a regular basis, and it wasn't a case of lunch appointments or other reasons -- they just wanted us out of their hair for a few hours. We would have driven them crazy otherwise. And there wasn't a nice, safe hagwon or anywhere to keep an eye on us. Yeah, the girl said her mother "kicked her out", so that conjures up images of homeless, hungry children roaming the streets, and yeah, the girl cries. Kids cry over all sorts of things, and kids tell all sorts of bizarre, worrisome stories. Some of them are even true. I suppose it's a good idea to pay closer attention to her for awhile, but I dunno... I just can't see how telling the kid not to come back home till 2.30 is cause for great concern.

krats1976 · Joined: 14 May 2003

JongnoGuru · Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep

Krats, have you had kids like the one Tzechuk is worried about? How exactly would you handle that situation? Co-teachers don't care or discount what the student says... Would you contact (or have someone contact) the parents? Has that ever happened?