Korean Job Discussion Forums

smurfystew · Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Location: Seoul, ROK

Ok so my Korean girlfriend works for *insert major Hagwon here*. This company has many hagwons throughout Seoul and Korea in general. I would venture to say they are one of the largest ESL companies in Korea. I am not sure I want to divulge the hagwon's name as I am not sure who reads this board. Anyways here is the story.

One parent in her homeroom kindergarten class called up the hagwon pretty p i ssed off saying that my gf made their little hellion go from the 7 year old kindergarten class to the 5 year old class as punishment for bad behavior. My girlfriend denied any wrongdoing and her story was backed up and confirmed by the CCTV in her classroom.

The parents kept on pressing the issue over the course of the last week, even threatening to take action against this company if nothing was done. Finally it surfaced that another Korean teacher had made the lad sit in the hallway as punishment for bad behavior. She admitted this to the parents but they would still not drop their complaint against my girlfriend and thought the other K teacher was covering for her. The parents continued to claim misbehavior on her part even though her story was backed up by the other children in her kindergarten class and other teachers at the school.

This continues for about a week and today she finally gets a call from the head office of the hagwon saying that the parents were willing to forgive her if she "apologized for her misdeeds to them."

This has basically caused her to lose it. She told the manager of the school she would quit today and never come back to work for them. Think the management is pretty shocked as she has been nothing but a model employee to them over the last 5 years.

My question is this: Is she doing the right thing? Should she just suck it up and apologize even though she has done nothing wrong? Or should she do what the anarchist in me says is right. Tell them to f u c k right off. Please give some feedback. In the United States you could sue the parents for slander but I dunno if that would be the case in Korea. Let's hear what you got.

riley · Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Location: where creditors can find me

Uh, why should she apologize? I guess it sounds like the only question is whether she should go ballistic or not on them for being cowardly. It sounds like she's in the right and should stick to her guns. Curious to see how it turns out.

Benicio · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:31 am Post subject:

Tell them to suck it! Suck it long and suck it hard!

Really, she should calmly* and firmly tell them that she is being pushed towards taking legal action against the parents for attempting to "damage her reputation".
Libel and Slander are taken very seriously here as "damaging someone's reputation" is a very serious offence for Koreans. Politicians are suing each other and the media for it all the time!
These parents have it in for your GF because she's the foreigner, so she must have done the "terrible thing" to their little angel. Sounds like the little *beep* originally told them it was her.
Also, it could be that they can't back down now because they would be admitting that they made a mistake and that means losing face. They certainly seem like the stubborn types of pigs who are very afraid of looking like fools. They may go to great lengths to cover up their foolish attacks on your GF. They have to keep it up to assert that they are right and not look like idiots.
So, it's a question of how far your GF is willing to take it and how much will the hagwon put up with.
I'm very sure that the hagwon would like nothing more than just for your GF to apologize and feign sincerity. They do not want any bad publicity.
Pleasing the parents, and thereby getting their money, is paramount to everything else.
Personally, I wouldn't put up with it. My dignity comes at a very, very high price!

*If a foreigner loses their temper in an argument with a Korean, that leads the way to them losing it. This is even if the Korean loses their temper, which they often do in arguments. Either both parties will be reduced to childish yelling and nothing will be accomplished or the other party's opinion of the foriegner will go downhill due to the losing of the temper. They will be convinced that the foreigner is low-class and they are automatically right in their argument. They have a serious double standard in that they are allowed to be very Korean, but expect the highest of high-class behavior from us waygookin!

Benicio · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:39 am Post subject:

Yes, please keep us updated!
Very interested to see what happens.

PS- your GF should definitely bluff them. Tell them she's talking to a lawyer, the lawyer advises action, etc. Just tell them the lawyer is a friend- that means more.

blaseblasphemener · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:11 am Post subject:

Tell your wife to apologize, but do it in the most condescending, smiling, no bowing way possible. Make them realize what absolute twatts they are being, while the lie comes out of your wifes mouth. Tell her not to take the smile off her face the whole time. It will piss the parents off more than anything possible. If her boss tries to correct her, just tell her to nod her head and say nothing, just play dumb.

Benicio · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:28 am Post subject:

Yep, because we all know that Koreans laugh/giggle when they are nervous, screw up or do something stupid!

blynch · Joined: 25 Oct 2006 Location: UCLA

smurfystew · Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Location: Seoul, ROK

Still not sure whats happening. She quit and packed up her bags today, however, the company has basically given her 2 days official leave to reconsider. They don't want her to leave as it is about time for kindergarten graduation and a meeting with the parents about a very expensive post kindergarten class the hagwon is trying to con them all into joining.

I think the advice about mentioning the need to take legal action would probably put a fire under their a ss and let them know that she was serious. Not sure what else she can really do. The hagwon is in a very busy district in Seoul and definately does not want to be seen in a bad light as there are so many other schools in this area.

Seems to me just another case of passing the buck down to the lowest common denominator. A real company should stand up for it's employees instead of railroading them into apologizing for things that they didn't do. I will keep you up to date.

ChopChaeJoe · Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Location: Seoul

Life's too short to have integrity. Apologize, lick boots, give rim jobs with a smile.

Nothing is more important than money. nothing, I tell you.

You'll feel better in old age knowing that you did everything you could to keep a job, no matter how little respect they had for you.

blaseblasphemener · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:56 am Post subject:

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

SHE'S the guy's BOYFRIEND? How does THAT work, touchhole?

twg · Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Location: Getting some fresh air...

jajdude · Joined: 18 Jan 2003

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

That's the problem with the whole for-profit education system: money talks.

I agree your girlfriend is doing the right thing, but quitting isn't the best thing to do. The student should be the one who has to leave. Under no circumstances should she apologise, but she really shouldn't have to. The only way she should come back now is either if the parents apologise or pull their kid from the school. She's made her move now and whipped her integrity out on the table.

Benicio · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:04 pm Post subject:

Okay, so now we've got all the error corrections out of the way!
Yes, I was mistaken in thinking she was a waygookin. That she's Korean changes the dynamic of the situation.
Now, honestly, does it make any d@mn difference that she is his GF, not his wife? Was it really necessary to jump on someone for that?
I guess blynch had a few too many before posting!

Anyway, since she is Korean, it sounds like the parents won't back down from their original attacks on and demands of your GF because they fear looking like fools and having to apologize themselves.

Hope she doesn't quit. It would be so much better to stand firm and fight it. Quitting will just help them to feel right and that's wrong!