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cibomatto
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Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Location: NY
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 Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:33 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| Wrench wrote: |
Actually the guys that are in Iraq I was told Chose to go there.. They get a whole lot more cash when they are on deployment. |
Ah trust me.. while there are some additional pays and other sorts of compesations going to Iraq believe many would prefer not to go.
I have no doubt in that there are many who choose to go but most go because it is their call to duty. |
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superacidjax
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:42 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| princess wrote: |
| But, at least he didn't choose to go to Iraq. He got sent there. But, what's up with all these idiots who choose to be away from their spouses/kids for a whole year? I have met some freaks like that here in Korea. Losers if you ask me. |
Ahhh... but you are obviously ill-informed. He CHOOSE to join the military. For him to think that he wouldn't go to Iraq is ridiculous. I have neither a spouse nor a kid, but I wouldn't call them losers.. perhaps they have a reason for being here, perhaps the real losers are all the people (married or not) that were big idiot outcasts in the West and then they come to Korea and suddenly think that they are the most popular kid on the block just because they can make some Korean chick giggle at a bar somewhere.
As far as freaks go, I've met plenty, and they all seem to be lacking in Western social skills, it has nothing to do with their marital status or child status.
Maybe the real freak is the guy that chooses to join the military knowing that he will be sent to war and away from his spouse. I was in the military and I would never have inflicted that on a wife or child. There's a reason the divorce rate is so high in the military. |
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cibomatto
Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Location: NY
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:49 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| superacidjax wrote: |
| maybe the real freak is the guy that chooses to join the military knowing that he will be sent to war and away from his spouse. I was in the military and I would never have inflicted that on a wife or child. There's a reason the divorce rate is so high in the military. |
ok I am not one of these flag waving , country music listening gun toting kind of guy. In fact quite the opposite but whatever happaned to someone feeling obligated to serve their country? You know the whole duty honor and country thing? I mean Yeah its TOUGh for a spouse to live through something like this but there again are many who are proud patriots that truely and honestly think of their country first. Not all servemive members and spouses are doomed to divorced.
Sheesh. lol |
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superacidjax
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:33 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| cibomatto wrote: |
ok I am not one of these flag waving , country music listening gun toting kind of guy. In fact quite the opposite but whatever happaned to someone feeling obligated to serve their country? You know the whole duty honor and country thing? I mean Yeah its TOUGh for a spouse to live through something like this but there again are many who are proud patriots that truely and honestly think of their country first. Not all servemive members and spouses are doomed to divorced.
Sheesh. lol |
That exactly why I joined the Army. And exactly why I didn't propose to my girlfriend at the time. You live near Red Cloud.. go to a GI bar and see how many of the married soldiers are screwing around on their spouses while they do their year tour in Korea. There's an acronym in the Army called TDY, it normally means "Temporary Duty," but if you ask a sergeant what it means, he'll laugh and say, "Temporarily Divorced for a Year." Also families can be drag on unit readiness. When I was a officer, countless times I had soldiers late for movements because their kid was sick or their wife had to do this or that. In Afghanistan, we had guys with so much anxiety about their wife possibly cheating back at home that it interfereres with the mission.
My point is not that families are bad for the military, my point is that the iniformed Princess who called non-military people who leave their spouses freaks is a moron. She's implying that the poor old soldier got sent to Iraq by simply bad luck and everyone else who leaves their spouses are freaks. What about some of us that might work for the State Department and can't bring our families. Or what about a wife that's back home finishing medical school while the husband is in Korea finishing his Masters? There are a thousand situations for a thousand people. Perhaps Princess should get out of her ivory tower and stop judging people. It's clear that her range of experience is so limited as to not be capable of understanding a world different than her own. |
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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:38 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| princess wrote: |
| But, what's up with all these idiots who choose to be away from their spouses/kids for a whole year? I have met some freaks like that here in Korea. Losers if you ask me. |
you're bringing this up again? i remember you saying that i'm a loser because my wife and i have a stable enough relationship that we can be apart for a year or two without it ruining our marriage. seems to me that you're just a tad too clingy and insecure to handle having your man away from you; what is it, you can't cope with life on your own or you can't trust your man enough to let him out of your sight?
rss 
 right now i'm listening to: beck - e-pro |
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seoulunitarian
Joined: 06 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:42 pm Post subject: re: |
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| princess wrote: |
| I'm also talking about people who choose to stay away from their spouse for a whole year of studying, too. Idiots! |
My Korean partner studied in the States for a year (two years ago) precisely because it is the only way we can live together in the States in the future. He's a nurse by the way. Your condemnation of people's choices is rather immature. Also, I suggest you do some research on co-dependency.
Peace |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:42 pm Post subject: |
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| kalkamagi wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I'm also talking about people who choose to stay away from their spouse for a whole year of studying, too. Idiots! |
what's up with all the negativity? not everyone who is away from their spouse cheats.
my parents met in korea in 1973 and got married in 1976, right after which my dad was assigned to a job in africa. what would a non-english speaking korean woman do in africa for 2 years? so after being married only a few months, mom stayed in korea and dad went to africa. they waited until after my dad's (non-military, ahem) contract ended and then started their life in the states in 1978, having celebrated thier 30th anniversary last year.
i also wondered why they would go through all of this- my dad says you can't pick who or when, but you just know when you want to marry. so like an earlier poster said, sometimes circumstances prevent you from being with your spouse at the moment, but the future you see together is worth being apart for a while.
and i don't consider either of my parents idiots. (or "f'ed up" for that matter.) |
Sorry, but I could FIND something to do in Africa for 2 years, if it mean seeing my spouse. Like Greg Behrendt said on the Oprah show, "I married my wife so I could see her everyday". Why the hell get married if you are going to be apart? What a joke! I met a couple here who agreed to be apart one year, so he could train to be a Canadian bounty officer, while she taught i Korea. Again, what a joke! My Dad said they should have thought about that before they got married. My Korean roommate agreed with me and my Dad. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:44 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| rockstarsmooth wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| But, what's up with all these idiots who choose to be away from their spouses/kids for a whole year? I have met some freaks like that here in Korea. Losers if you ask me. |
you're bringing this up again? i remember you saying that i'm a loser because my wife and i have a stable enough relationship that we can be apart for a year or two without it ruining our marriage. seems to me that you're just a tad too clingy and insecure to handle having your man away from you; what is it, you can't cope with life on your own or you can't trust your man enough to let him out of your sight?
rss
right now i'm listening to: beck - e-pro |
Maybe a little bit of both. |
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seoulunitarian
Joined: 06 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:46 pm Post subject: re: |
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| princess wrote: |
| kalkamagi wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I'm also talking about people who choose to stay away from their spouse for a whole year of studying, too. Idiots! |
what's up with all the negativity? not everyone who is away from their spouse cheats.
my parents met in korea in 1973 and got married in 1976, right after which my dad was assigned to a job in africa. what would a non-english speaking korean woman do in africa for 2 years? so after being married only a few months, mom stayed in korea and dad went to africa. they waited until after my dad's (non-military, ahem) contract ended and then started their life in the states in 1978, having celebrated thier 30th anniversary last year.
i also wondered why they would go through all of this- my dad says you can't pick who or when, but you just know when you want to marry. so like an earlier poster said, sometimes circumstances prevent you from being with your spouse at the moment, but the future you see together is worth being apart for a while.
and i don't consider either of my parents idiots. (or "f'ed up" for that matter.) |
Sorry, but I could FIND something to do in Africa for 2 years, if it mean seeing my spouse. Like Greg Behrendt said on the Oprah show, "I married my wife so I could see her everyday". Why the hell get married if you are going to be apart? What a joke! I met a couple here who agreed to be apart one year, so he could train to be a Canadian bounty officer, while she taught i Korea. Again, what a joke! My Dad said they should have thought about that before they got married. My Korean roommate agreed with me and my Dad. |
Well, if you, your rommie, and good ol' dad agree, who's to say otherwise?
Peace |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:46 pm Post subject: Re: re: |
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| seoulunitarian wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I'm also talking about people who choose to stay away from their spouse for a whole year of studying, too. Idiots! |
My Korean partner studied in the States for a year (two years ago) precisely because it is the only way we can live together in the States in the future. He's a nurse by the way. Your condemnation of people's choices is rather immature. Also, I suggest you do some research on co-dependency.
Peace |
That's right. Just call me co-dependent, but at least I have a heart and I will make a great wife/mother. Call me June Cleaver, not some modern day dimwit who doesn't know the first thing about a real family.  |
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seoulunitarian
Joined: 06 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:47 pm Post subject: Re: re: |
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| princess wrote: |
| seoulunitarian wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I'm also talking about people who choose to stay away from their spouse for a whole year of studying, too. Idiots! |
My Korean partner studied in the States for a year (two years ago) precisely because it is the only way we can live together in the States in the future. He's a nurse by the way. Your condemnation of people's choices is rather immature. Also, I suggest you do some research on co-dependency.
Peace |
That's right. Just call me co-dependent, but at least I have a heart and I will make a great wife/mother. Call me June Cleaver, not some modern day dimwit who doesn't know the first thing about a real family. |
Ok. You are co-dependent. I suppose by "real family" you mean one man, one woman, and 2.7 children.
Peace |
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seoulunitarian
Joined: 06 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:54 pm Post subject: re: |
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I am not saying separation for a purpose is easy. It's one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But it was necessary, and looking back, I'm glad he chose to do it because now we will be able to live together in the States. I had to work through co-dependency issues when he was gone, so I know a co-dependent person when I see one.
Peace |
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twg
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Location: Getting some fresh air...
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:56 pm Post subject: Re: No wonder the world is so screwed up!!! |
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| cibomatto wrote: |
| ...but whatever happaned to someone feeling obligated to serve their country? You know the whole duty honor and country thing? |
Not everyone feels a need to be in a gang. |
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superacidjax
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 9:15 pm Post subject: Re: re: |
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| princess wrote: |
| That's right. Just call me co-dependent, but at least I have a heart and I will make a great wife/mother. Call me June Cleaver, not some modern day dimwit who doesn't know the first thing about a real family. |
How about just a dimwit? You obviously don't know jack about a real family. A real family is a family that can and does thrive regardless of circumstances or geography. As far as Africa is concerned, when I was assigned to Djibouti, there would be no way in hell that I would have my familiy out there (if I had a family.) Would you go with your husband to Afghanistan.. perhaps you could live with the soldiers and knit cute little ammunition pouches.
You obviously have something missing from your childhood that you're trying to overcompensate for now. No one is saying being away from a spouse forever, just for the time needed for whatever the reason. For you to suggest that "they shouldn't have gotten married" if they had to be away from each other for a year. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You are a classic example of the Dr. Spock "me, me, now, now" generation. You want instant gratification. So you'd be willing to not be with the love of your life for the rest of your life if that meant you couldn't see him for a year? Ever heard of cell phones, web cams (heck, even Satelite phones are reasonably available now?)
I bet your one of those types that like to call a guy 1500 times a day and then get annoyed when he doesn't want to watch you make bread.
Insecurity is not attractive. Co-dependency kills a relationship faster than being away for a year. I know that from exerience.
Grow up. Don't get married or you'll be a quick victim of divorce by a husband that will be suffocated by your constant whinning and neediness. Then where would June Cleaver be then? Working at a drink-girl bar on the 'Hill crying about the decline of the modern family. |
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kalkamagi
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| Sorry, but I could FIND something to do in Africa for 2 years, if it mean seeing my spouse. Like Greg Behrendt said on the Oprah show, "I married my wife so I could see her everyday". Why the hell get married if you are going to be apart? What a joke! I met a couple here who agreed to be apart one year, so he could train to be a Canadian bounty officer, while she taught i Korea. Again, what a joke! My Dad said they should have thought about that before they got married. My Korean roommate agreed with me and my Dad. |
princess, perhaps you should try appreciating that people have different options and preferences than you. is it so hard to believe that you could love someone so much that being separated for a short time is worth being with them afterwards?
the unsympathetic responses here probably reflect that this forum is basically comprised of members who are travelling/in a temporary location, and who have felt the positive and negative aspects of long-distance relationships. it's easier to have an open mind about this stuff here.
if you asked me in college, i would have had the same view as you.
but if you asked now me to be apart from my boyfriend for a year, i'd tell you i've done it for 7 months, then right after for 2 months, then 2 months again. was it worth it? hell yes!
as for my parents- niger, algeria, & mali in the 70's wasn't exactly ideal for family. i'm sure my mom could have waited and home doing launmaybe you would voluneer for exposure to malaria and boredom, but i know a woman who did chose this and she hated every minute of it.
anyway, maybe you'll meet someone that will change your mind. |
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