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Seoultrader
Joined: 18 Jun 2003
Location: Ali's Insurgent Inn, Fallujah
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 Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:59 am Post subject: |
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| Skarp wrote: |
Verrry difficult situation....
Having a quiet word might be difficult if the OP is intimidated by the creepy character.
I assume from the OP that she has done almost everything possible to make it clear that she is not interested.
She still has to work with him later....
This is the kind of situation sexual harassment laws were invented for, and I gather Korea is rather lacking in the laws and the ethos behind them.
OK - as maybe one last attempt to fend this character off - maybe write to him...
Keep it clear and keep it simple. Even get a colleague you trust to pass the note to him.
If that doesn't work look for another job. Tell your boss why you are leaving. Tell him (the boss is a he?) that you'll miss the school and loved working there (even if not true) and then leave. Put this in writing too.
I'm sorry this is just so unfair...
I'm hoping you have a visa that allows you to change jobs easily and that you can find another one simply enough.
This is one area unionisation has helped with in the UK and elsewhere BTW. It also helps with racism in the workplace, health and safety, bullying.... People focus on pay demands and strikes when they think of unions, but that's the tip of the iceberg.
Good luck with finding a suitable outcome. Please update us in the outcome/developements
Skarp |
Err...how do I put this diplomatically...
HELL NO!
WTF??? She's got an assnut colleague and she should consider changing jobs as an alternative???
NO! NO! NO! 
Hiring Helios' security "company" is a more viable option. |
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Skarp
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:25 am Post subject: |
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I never said it was fair for her to leave. I just said it might be necessary and the best solution under the circumstances.
No other suggestions (eg - violence) make any sense....
I think this is how things were before anti-sexual harrassment legislation.
I've seen blatant and horrific sexual harassment at work in France. A particualr salesman would openly make offensive and sexual remarks to a young black woman who worked as a buyer's assistant. She just accepted it as being normal.
I asked an older female student who I had a good rapport with why no-one complained about this kind of stuff - and she just laughed her head off.
The OP seems to have little alternative to either putting up with this abuse, or leaving the job.
It's damned unfair but it may be necessary.
Skarp |
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The Man known as The Man
Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:34 am Post subject: |
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| GlowStickGirl wrote: |
| Corporal wrote: |
| Ya know that finger you have that comes after the thumb and index... |
lolz...somehow, i think that would only make him more aroused. seriously, he's the creepiest guy i ever met. |
Just PM kiwiboy and tell him to knock it off in private.
ps soooo what are you doing Friday night?
Last edited by The Man known as The Man on Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:51 am; edited 2 times in total |
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The Man known as The Man
Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:35 am Post subject: |
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Use Homer Simpson's line at the end of a long letter
"ps I am gay". |
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Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:37 am Post subject: |
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| matko wrote: |
| Tiger Beer wrote: |
| Another option is to tell another male co-worker who the guy respects about the situation. Maybe the other person can take the guy aside for you.. |
This is the correct answer. |
Personally, I think Matko is right!!
I know for a fact that if I crossed some line, having some guy I respect telling me its the case would put me back in-line significantly moreso than all of these other suggested ideas..
In fact I think this is always the case.. remember many tv and movies lines.. 'let me go talk to him'.. and such.
Plus, its quite obvious the kiwi guy in question DOES NOT respect her.. so I think she wouldn't get much out of going head-on with him over this. In fact, I'm betting something like that would just provoke him worse.
Go to someone he respects and talk to them to talk to him.
IF there is no one he respects in the entire workplace, then chances are he's creeping out ALOT of other women as well.. and find out who they are and make a strong stand TOGETHER.
Don't go one-on-one on this.. he already has the upper-hand.
Also, come online here and tell us what you decided to do, and the results of it  |
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Pyongshin Sangja
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Location: I love baby!
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:10 am Post subject: |
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| Tell him you are Christian. Wear a big cross every day. |
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GlowStickGirl
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks for the ideas people! Really appreciate your help. Will keep y'all updated. |
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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talk to your female co-workers, chances are this guy has targeted more than one girl, or at least they have noticed what he's been doing.
Don't confront this guy in private- better safe than sorry and all that. Next time he says anything out of line, make a big scene of it. Shoot him down, with a sense of humor, but do it publicly. Public rejection should help him come to his senses or at least convince him to leave you alone.
Whatever you do, hang in there. He's the one who's out of line- NOT YOU!
To the guys on the board: It's really good to see that so many of you would step up to help a girl who has a serious problem.Cheers!  |
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kiwiboy_nz_99
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: ...Enlightenment...
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Get a fake boyfriend. |
Or get a real one, talk about him constantly, and ask the guy to come out for drinks with you AND your boyfriend! |
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Blue Flower
Joined: 23 Feb 2003
Location: The realisation that I only have to endure two more weeks in this filthy, perverted, nasty place!
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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As a kiwi chick - I find it strange that he would be so demanding - generally, as a rule of thumb, kiwis tend to be rather subtle, woosyish, when it comes to women, not totally agressive. When I got here, one of my first nights out was at Geckoes, and I was totally amazed with how agressive the American/Canadian men are, when they want ya. Not like back home at all!!
Anyway, I agree with Kiwi boy - tell he exactly how you feel. A big loud "F" You works wonders - though he might be able to turn this round.
He is obviously not respecting your working relationship by making crass remarks, and constantly propositioning you. how well does he know you? Does he know your religious views, and personal morals? Make it clear that you do not like it when he does this and that - but I would run, nay, sprint to Yongsan electronics market and buy one of those voice recorder things, and tape your conversations, wait till you get a truly disgusting one, and then threaten to send it to his mother/sister/ex girlfriend etc, and see if that stops him. He is a creep. Whats his name? If I know him, I will spread the word ... PM me! |
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inexhile
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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By labelling this guy a specifically Kiwi creep as opposed to just a male creep........well.......isn't that racism?
I have an issue with extremely obese people here but I still dont state their nationality, geez that would be a grouse generalisation. |
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The Lemon
Joined: 11 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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| By labelling this guy a specifically Kiwi creep as opposed to just a male creep........well.......isn't that racism? |
Only if we regularly talk of the Kiwi race. Kinda like the Albertans. |
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inexhile
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| The Lemon wrote: |
| Only if we regularly talk of the Kiwi race. Kinda like the Albertans. |
Thanx for clearing that up, but, I'm a kiwi that used to live in Alberta, man I've got some issues |
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gang ah jee
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
Location: city of paper
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| Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2003 1:16 am Post subject: |
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| kiwiboy_nz_99 wrote: |
| A certain two word phrase, ... starts with g, and ends with f. |
yeah! tell him to get off! |
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kiwiboy_nz_99
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: ...Enlightenment...
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| Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2003 1:38 am Post subject: |
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yeah! tell him to get off!
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That's what he's TRYING to do bro! |
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