Korean Job Discussion Forums

[K-in-C]

Hi all,

Well, this is sort of a rant but I'll keep it short. Something happened regarding me, and a couple of Korean co-workers, that caused me to be hurt deeply. It was somewhat of a a lack of communication issue, and MAYBE I was overreacting, but I was still quite upset about the situation just the same. Anyway, I broke down crying in the office today and a Korean co-worker said, "Please don't cry. You are older than me and I don't know what to do." This further led to my frustration as I don't understand what age has to do with how someone reacts to someone who is upset.

I really want to get past this whole thing but I am a person that REALLY needs to express my feelings and communicate to solve upsetting issues that are causing a barrier between myself and others. The co-workers involved just look down now when I pass by. The mood in the office has changed and I am very sad about this.

Advice and e-hugs welcome,

K-in-C

[Corporal]

Hey Kate. I don't know about the age difference comment but I'll tell you, in my experience, Koreans are REALLY uncomfortable with showing your emotions in public. I know because, even though I tend not to be an emotional person, I have shown tears before when around Koreans (sometimes BECAUSE of them ), and in every circumstance their first reaction has been to say "Don't cry". Which is normal enough, except that it's always been said in such a way that it's not so much intended to console the listener, as it is to show that it's not an appropriate situation (THEY think) in which to display tears. This has bothered me before. It probably has to do with the loss of face thing.

Sometimes I don't really give a shit, if I feel like crying, I'm going to and I don't care who's watching. I don't think Koreans comprehend that at all.

[crazylemongirl]

*e hug*

I'm feeling really down for a lot of reasons at the moment, and I too am the type of person that wears my heart on my sleave. Although I don't tend to cry, I do become very queit and withdrawn so it's easy to pick when I'm not happy. Well all this week I've had korean co-workers freaking out and one assuming that I was mad with her.

As for your situation are there any other waygook teachers at your school. I found one of mine to be of invaluable during this week, just to say to the others, 'hey don't freak out and let CLG be. She'll bounce back in her own time.'

CLG

[K-in-C]

[Draven]

Well, K-in-C. to be honest, you didn't post enough information about your problem for anyone to be helpful resolving the issue.

Without knowing what happenened, or why it happened, it would be impossible for anyone to give helpful advice to you.

What I mean to say is, is the problem the problem (the original problem), or is it how the Korean co-workers reacted?

And which are you asking for help in dealing with?

[eamo]

Whatever problem you had that made you cry it will pass soon.

Isn't that the way it's always been?

Problems are temporary.

BTW. Koreans cry when they are drunk. A lot!!!

[K-in-C]

OK~

Here it goes...

As some of you know I went to Seoul over Chu-seok. I did not want a stuffy apartment when I came home so I left my bedroom window open a little. Well, I arrived home Monday, at three am, to find that I had no electricity.

At first I thought maybe there was a robber in my apartment. I went to my bedroom and found it was a puddle of water. I wanted to call the director but her phone number was in my bedroom dresser drawer. I was afraid to walk in the bedroom as the power cords were on the floor and I thought I might get electrocuted.

Fumbling in the dark and using a lighter to see the numbers, I called three teachers at three thirty am. One line picked up and someone spoke in Korean. I told the person, who I thought I was calling, who I was but the person continued to speak in Korean. I hung up and caled the number again and the same thing happened so I tried the other numbers but no one answered.

I was scared so I went down and knocked on a neighbour's door. He came up and said something to the effect that he would check the electricity in the morning. My alarm clock was in the bedroom so I could not set it to wake up. Needless to say I did not sleep well. No one called until late in the morning. One teacher called, then, but the others did not.

I understand that maybe they might not have heard the phone at 3:30 am, but in the morning they would have checked their phones, and yet they were not concerned enough, or so it seemed, to call and check to see if the problem that I had called about in the middle of the night had been resolved.

Later, that day when I came into the teacher's office, they had already heard about what had happened and they were all saying "Oh, are you ok?" I was disappointed and exausted and just said something in a sarcastic tone like "Ya great".

One teacher commented that they had not thought it was important to call me because if I had needed help then I would have kept trying to call.

I commented that this time it wasn't that big of an issue, in the end, but that I was upset because what if I had a serious health problem when I had called and could not call back because I was lying on the floor half dead, or worse.

One problem here is that they never explained to me about not calling back until a couple of days later, and not shortly after, when they saw I was visably upset. One teacher said my call, and the time it came in, did not register on his phone.

Also, the landlord had turned the power off and didn't bother to notify the school's director, who in turn could have called me to let me know what was going on.

Anyway, I have been promised that if ever I call again, in the middle of the night, and no one answers because they are sleeping, they will call asap. This does not change the fact that they did not communicate to me why they neglected to call or left it until after 11am.

Why did the one teacher, who eventually did call, even bother to call then if she didn't think the earlier call I had made was one to be concerned about?

Sorry for rambling on and for any errors.

Thanks for your concern.

Sincerely,

K-in-C

Edited twice