Korean Job Discussion Forums

[simon77047]

Yesterday I kicked a chair into the wall and used foul language, big time. I was almost unable to control my anger. Finally, I left the room. What happened? On Fridays I have four classes so I thought it would be interesting to get all four classes involved in a project that they could work on together and once completed, make it a part of their school. So, I brought a 500 piece puzzle to school. For the first three classes it was great. The kids even stayed after the bell to continue working on it. Our school has a 5 minute break between classes. I took a break just before the forth class. The puzzle was almost completed. I was feeling good. The first 3 classes were feeling good. When I returned to the classroom the puzzle had been reduced to its original state. My problem I am still $$$$##. This is totally not me. It is a day later. What to do on Monday? Thanks for letting me vet.

[captain kirk]

Going to pieces over a puzzle won't solve your problem. A certain lilliputan bandito figured, 'puh-shulls, we don't need no stinkin' puh-shulls'. It's like making a card castle on a busy street. Yes, you're lucky you weren't tied down and 'dong-chimmed'. You can't make zen priests out of bandits.

[simon77047]

yes, yes, I know it's only a puzzle. I am more angry at the fact that these kids are so RUDE with their boring behavior. I know they take lessons from their parents and I know they will in turn teach their kids how to be the same way they are. Is it any wonder Korea has its own complaint forum?

[William Beckerson]

Your job is to throw English at them, not teach them how to be good western people.

Now, I'd suggest you go and aplogise to your boss and partner teacher for fielding all of the mom's angry calls for you.

[dutchman]

[sandstorm]

I bet it's not just the puzzle. Probably the cumulative effect of frustration with the same kids after weeks on end of bad behviour. The straw that breaks the camel's back.

I hope you do something nice this weekend. Treat yourself to something special like a nice dinner, go and sit in a sauna for a few hours, go for a long walk, whatever makes you feel better. Do some research here on Daves for ways to deal with the troublemakers, talk to other teachers and find out how they cope.

[William Beckerson]

[just because]

I agree with Beckerson about the Koreans coping the heat. If you do something stupid, the kids go home, tell mom, and mom vents at the Korean teacher while she tries to smooth it over. I'm not saying don't vent, i've let loose a couple of times on a couple of kids(they deserved what they got) but I've also gone up and explained the situation to the Korean teacher, apologised in advance and try to suck up to them for a week or until the next Johnny Horror does something terrible.

[dutchman]

[Austin]

Simon,

This is a great opportunity to learn something about yourself, so try not to let it slip away. First, completely remove the kids from your incident, as it has nothing to do with them, but everything to do with you. Next, try to narrow down the feelings that you were having just prior to "blowing up" and write them down. Once you have finished, try to reconstruct a situation from your past, where you have felt similar feelings.

My hope is that you will come to see that you are only in control of you, and that you are never in control of another human-being. They might follow you at times, but that is by their grace that they listen to you. In other words, do not be sucked into believing the hype that you have power over others.

Self-induced expectations are one of the biggest causes for what you experienced. People come to 'expect' certain things to be a certain way, and they attach a considerable amount of emotional interest on to that expectaion. As soon as the expectation gets replaced by something else, certain people tend to go into a type of "shock," because they never imagined that what replaced their original expectation could have ever been a possibility.

In short, I have two things that I can suggest for you: try to overcome your need to set/habit of setting expectations (accept each moment as it presents itself to you in life and accept that the power you have is limited to yourself and how you feel about what you have experienced...as you will only set yourself up for disappointment), and try to keep a more functional perspective on life (if you allow yourself to live with blinders on, you are not going to see many things that are coming or you will miss many things that are happening around you). If you do not want to be surprised again, consider all of the things that might happen or just roll with what does.

Whatever you do, please do not make the mistake of placing the blame on your kids! They are not responsible for your actions. Rather, you are the only one that can be responsible for you. Stop setting yourself up for feeling the way you did, and learn to listen to yourself. After all, does not adulthood and teaching demand that we learn to control ourselves and our emotions?

Later,
Austin

[simon77047]

Thank you all for your kind comments. Some questions were brought up that I should answer. I've taught here in Korea for two years. I have lived in Asian countries for 5 1/2 years so I understand the culture. No, I don't think I have ever been on a power trip (what power, anyway) and I don't set myself up to be let down by other people. I accept full responsibility for my actions. More often than not I blow off bad behavior on the part of the kids. If they become too disruptive I simply ask them to leave my class room or I will have a Korean teacher talk to them. After class on Friday, I explained to the director what happened so if he does get any calls he will know what it was about. My reason for starting this post was basically to just write it down and get some feedback. It is after midnight now and I'm fine. On Monday, I will go to class and act like nothing happened. We will go over the homework I gave them. Anyway, thank you all and have a good day.

[William Beckerson]