Korean Job Discussion Forums

[leeroy12]

(Again, I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything here - this is just a theory. Tell me what you think - as you're the ones actually living in Asia.)

In Asian cultures, it often seems that there is a quite distinct social 'code' - unwritten rules which are rigidly obeyed, relatively, at least, to the west. The rules of interpersonal relationships and the corresponding behaviourial patterns in Asian cultures are more complicated and, in many ways, more visible than those that exist in western society.

Part of the 'exclusion' that westerners complain of when living and working in Asian cultures is, I think, as a result of westerners not knowing (or being perceived as not knowing) these invisible social codes. Asians feel comfort in being with a group of people who follow the same 'book' of behaviour and opinion.

Westerners are characteristically more independent, they are less likely (for example) to show deference without solid justification for it - age alone will rarely automatically qualify for respect.

Asians are not sure where to place westeners within their own social hierarchy. The cultural rulebook of behaviour and interpersonal relations that Asians are groomed on does not cover 'outsiders' - consequently they are seen as a curiosity, a threat, or an oddity.

Most Asians living in western cultures (I am referring here to ones who move to western countries to study, typically not for more than 1 or 2 years) do little to adapt. The behavioural patterns that serve them well in their home communities are not applicable in western cultures - they do not know how to act, and lack the independent abilities necessary to 'learn' what being part of a new culture entails. This results in them living within their own communities, doing little to integrate or socialise with members of their host culture.

Western culture is not inherently rejecting of members of other cultures. While most societies are bound by homogeny, western culture is in many ways bound together by diversity. One 'entry requirement' of western culture is to be seen to be individual, independent and self-confident. These same aspects of character are deemed 'arrogant' by many other cultures.

Similarly, westerners who are temporarily living in Asian cultures often find it hard to integrate fully. But this is often not because westerners are unable to, rather they do not want to. Western culture values independence, and various other traits which are not accordingly respected in the East. Eastern cultures are less accepting of westerners 'penetrating' their social code than the other way around, especially when western people are seen to be undisciplined in their behaviour, showing of emotions, etc...

To a westerner, Asians are restricted by their culture. Asian society suppresses individuality, Confucianism essentially smothering diversity - choosing homogeny as a method of maintaining social harmony. Westerners, when comparing themselves to Asians, consider themselves to be 'free' of these shackles. In consequence, they have no desire to be 'a part of' Asian culture - as many consider themselves (consciously or otherwise) to be superior to it.

But there are already signs of the Asian cultural 'rule-book' losing some of its pages. Exposure to western media and produce is a start, but increasing numbers of Asian students are coming into contact with westernism directly. The notions of 'freedom of expression' and 'individuality' look appealing to far more members of Asian culture than Confucianism does to people in the West.

Inevitably, Asian cultures will become more western - this in reality will manifest itself as a relaxation of social rules. Though some may attribute the spread of westernisation (as a symptom, perhaps, of the wider issue of globalisation) as some kind of global homogeny, actually, the opposite is true. As countries westernise, this will in fact encourage diversity.

[indiercj]

It is always difficult to play and win with someone how have been playing by a more "free" rule. Imagine people who continuously claims "The 3 of heart is a joker in my country so i'll play as such. the queen of spade too!" If you can't change completely your home rule and compete with this guy either you stop playing with him seriously or just ask him to go home.

[Ya-ta Boy]

I'd like to respond to the 'exclusion' comment. In my opinion, it is a result of us vs. them that you see when anyone moves into a small town anywhere. The new kid on the block has a hard time finding a niche because no one in particular 'needs' him. Social relationships have already been formed and it's hard to find an opening.

Here in Korea, an ethnic-based society, we way-gook sarams have the added burden of not being ethnic Koreans, not speaking the language and being only temporary visitors. But I think those are only superficial causes.

My second point has to do with the phenomenon of projection. I think a lot of the comments by foreigners are triggered from the inside. We look out at a crowd and see 'them'. I think we are the ones who feel different and blame the others for 'making' us feel that way.

It's also important to remember the 'movie star' thing that happens so often here. I remember when I was moving into a new apt. The truck pulled up outside and within 5 minutes the alley was filled with neighbors watching the way-gook saram move in. I was the first in the neighborhood. Everyone was grinning and bowing at me. I frequently met the same old granny out walking her grandson in the evenings. She would push the tykes head to make him bow. There is surely no need to mention the 'service' we get at bakeries, convenience shops, street stalls and hoffs. So yes, there are times we may feel excluded, but we are also warmly welcomed here.

[adventureman]

[kiwiboy_nz_99]

[whatthefunk]

I know!!! Lets be completely ignorant and classify the hundreds of diverse cultures found on this continent in one obscure group labeled as 'Asian'!

[kiwiboy_nz_99]

[whatthefunk]

[Homer]

oh boy...
labels galore in here...

[Paji eh Wong]

Hey Leeroy

Another really good post. I agree with you more than I disagree with you. Let's see if I can make the quote function work.

leeroy12 said:

[Ya-ta Boy]

[schwa]

What tends to get lost in the east/west debate is the overwhelming commonality of humans of every stripe. If you focus on similarity rather than difference there are few obstacles to feeling 'at home' wherever you might be.

[whatthefunk]

[leeroy12]

[adventureman]