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Saving and Losing Face
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antiamerican



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 7:03 pm    Post subject: Saving and Losing Face Reply with quote

Many years ago, when I first came to Asia, I heard this term about the Chinese. From what I remember, it meant that the Chinese would practically lie, or twist the truth, in order not to embarrass themselves, superiors or their families. To look bad in front of others is to lose face. Hence we called it saving face.
In light of Korea, however, I wonder if this applies, or if anyone knows anything about the true meaning of these terms? Do Koreans try to save face? Is this the problem with Korea, and is the above mentioned definition the correct meaning of this term? Moreover, is this the way to describe some Korean behavior, particularly when it comes to right and wrong? An answer to this question might help us all.
Take, for instance, North Korea. We all know(at least some of us,) that Kim Jong-il and his nuclear bomb club have committed a grievous error, or broken the nuclear arms treaty. They've been building nuclear weapons secretely all along, even well before Bush stepped into office. This is no lie.
Yet when speaking about this to the majority of Koreans, all one gets is the cold shoulder. Not only that, but one gets reverse accusations, like the Western media is biased against North Korea and or America started the ball rolling by Bush declaring Kim Jong-il evil and not supplying aid.
But we know from reliable sources, that this isn't so, that North Korea got caught with its hand in the cookie jar, and that Kim Jong-il has lost face. So what do the South Koreans think and do?
Well, that's a mystery to me. They try to shift the blame, or don't talk about it at all, or excuse it in the name of reunification. They try to pretend that no problem exists, that it's really not the North's fault, or that as one student told me, "Why can't North Korea have nuclear weapons? Everyone else does?"
In other words, they try to save face. Or at least this is what I think it's called. But since being in Korea, I haven't heard this term used at all, and wonder if we know what's going on. This could be exactly what North Korea is trying to do, and makes me wonder, who's going to lose face?
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weatherman



Joined: 14 Jan 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have made some very good points. Koreans do beleive in face. I forget the Korean word for it. Anyways, I think it goes deeper than just keeping face, it goes to the misinformation that is fed the Korean populace whether it is the media, (mbc comes to mind, and I am sure lemon will agree) or even the education students receive in school. This misinformation makes it all the more difficult to have current issue-event conversations. All the glorification going on up north happens here in the south also. I believe if you watch Arirang TV you will get a small dose my picture. Koreans really beleive and think this way about their country and themselves. Take a look at Korean advertising, it is all mythical themes or showing grandure. I am not an expert, so all this is my opinion, but after living in Korea for many years, I say Koreans will do anything, and I mean anything not to lose face.
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IconsFanatic



Joined: 19 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I honestly don't think "saving face" is unique to Asians. Westerns have their own unique methods of trying to "save face" for each other as well.
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Circus Monkey



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: In my coconut tree

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh. I think we call it "refusing to back down".

CM
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canukteacher



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul, Korea

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 10:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My experience with Asians.......Chinese and Koreans and saving face is that they only worry about saving face when they have been dishonest, or have done something wrong.If they were honest with people they wouldn't have to worry about saving face.

CT
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antiamerican



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 1:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

IconsFanatic wrote:
I honestly don't think "saving face" is unique to Asians. Westerns have their own unique methods of trying to "save face" for each other as well.


Yeah, I contemplated this too, yet all I can come up with is the fact that Westerners don't consider it normal. Asians do. To lie to protect one's family is an honor, a duty, and somewhat excusable. Just like they always say when someone commits a crime here that the person was mentally ill, like the homeless guy in Daegu, so they try to save face to protect their families and reputations. It's kind of ridiculous, part of the incurable social diseases.
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Arthur Fonzerelli



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
This misinformation makes it all the more difficult to have current issue-event conversations.


Oh and the western media isn't biased?? Hmmm, I guess the less evolved Asians need to be enlightened by the rational white people who have superior intelligence and insight??

So what if Asians want to "save face"? Isn't George Bush trying to "save face" in front of the world right now? Much of the world doesn't want a war, but he's trying to promote war to "save face" for all his bellicose war talk...I agree that "saving face" isn't strictly an Asian phenomenon...It's really a human attribute that almost everyone has...
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Canadian Teacher



Joined: 22 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Korean word for "face" is kibun.
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Mr.NiceGuy



Joined: 03 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 4:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Arthur Fonzerelli wrote:
Quote:
This misinformation makes it all the more difficult to have current issue-event conversations.


Oh and the western media isn't biased?? Hmmm, I guess the less evolved Asians need to be enlightened by the rational white people who have superior intelligence and insight??

So what if Asians want to "save face"? Isn't George Bush trying to "save face" in front of the world right now? Much of the world doesn't want a war, but he's trying to promote war to "save face" for all his bellicose war talk...I agree that "saving face" isn't strictly an Asian phenomenon...It's really a human attribute that almost everyone has...


Fine. But saving face is not being stubborn, or covering up, or side-stepping, as you may suggest Bush is doing. It's a different phenomenon that sees a wrong as a right. Therefore, we say 'you have to make them lose face.' That is, make them see where they're wrong. Westerners really don't have this concept of saving face. We try to admit when we're wrong, albeit some do, like you say, try to cover up.
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Arthur Fonzerelli



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 5:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Westerners really don't have this concept of saving face. We try to admit when we're wrong, albeit some do, like you say, try to cover up.


So which one is it???? Do Westerners try to say face or not??? You just proved my point that "saving face" is not unique to Asians...
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dogbert



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: Killbox 90210

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The Korean word for "face" is kibun.


The Korean word for "face" is [chemyeon]. [kibun] refers to one's mood.
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Mr.NiceGuy



Joined: 03 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Arthur Fonzerelli wrote:
Quote:
Westerners really don't have this concept of saving face. We try to admit when we're wrong, albeit some do, like you say, try to cover up.


So which one is it???? Do Westerners try to say face or not??? You just proved my point that "saving face" is not unique to Asians...


No, they don't. We refer to it as a unique Asian trait, a sort of bluffing. It's something that the Westerners don't portray as often, that's all. Quit harping!


Last edited by Mr.NiceGuy on Wed Feb 19, 2003 3:55 pm; edited 2 times in total
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keguri



Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's a good definition of "saving face" from: http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/facesavr.htm

"Face saving (or saving face) refers to maintaining a good self image. People who are involved in a conflict and secretly know they are wrong will often not admit that they are wrong because they don�t want to admit they made a mistake. They therefore continue the conflict, just to avoid the embarrassment of looking bad."

Westerners save face too, but not quite to the degree that Koreans and other Asians do. For example, when you say to your friend "That hot-pink and neon green poodle-print shirt is nice, but I think your blue sweater really brings out your eyes more. Why don't you wear that instead?" instead of saying "What is that horrific crap you've got on?! It's hideous! Wear this blue sweater instead.", you are engaging in a face-saving act. You don't want to embarrass your friend, so you save your friend's face, so to speak.

You can save your own face, too. Have you ever tripped walking down a sidewalk and then turned around to see what may have tripped you, even though you know exactly what it was? This is to give the people around you who saw you trip the impression "Hey, I've got it under control... it wasn't MY fault that I tripped!" That's saving face.

With Korean society, I think saving face is part of showing respect. You would never, ever allow someone higher on the social ladder than you to lose face. It's just unthinkable. We don't have this hierarchical social structure in the West, and so if you allow someone to lose face, you are not creating such a horrible social faux pas as you are when you do it in Asian society. That's my theory, anyways...
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Mr.NiceGuy



Joined: 03 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

keguri wrote:
Here's a good definition of "saving face" from: http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/facesavr.htm

"Face saving (or saving face) refers to maintaining a good self image. People who are involved in a conflict and secretly know they are wrong will often not admit that they are wrong because they don�t want to admit they made a mistake. They therefore continue the conflict, just to avoid the embarrassment of looking bad."

Westerners save face too, but not quite to the degree that Koreans and other Asians do. For example, when you say to your friend "That hot-pink and neon green poodle-print shirt is nice, but I think your blue sweater really brings out your eyes more. Why don't you wear that instead?" instead of saying "What is that horrific crap you've got on?! It's hideous! Wear this blue sweater instead.", you are engaging in a face-saving act. You don't want to embarrass your friend, so you save your friend's face, so to speak.

You can save your own face, too. Have you ever tripped walking down a sidewalk and then turned around to see what may have tripped you, even though you know exactly what it was? This is to give the people around you who saw you trip the impression "Hey, I've got it under control... it wasn't MY fault that I tripped!" That's saving face.

With Korean society, I think saving face is part of showing respect. You would never, ever allow someone higher on the social ladder than you to lose face. It's just unthinkable. We don't have this hierarchical social structure in the West, and so if you allow someone to lose face, you are not creating such a horrible social faux pas as you are when you do it in Asian society. That's my theory, anyways...


This looks like it. Problem is, sometimes these face-saving tactics cover up something that's illegal. Hence the Japanese will commit suicide, or hari-kari, rather than lose face, or be humiliated. Death before dishonor, I guess.
In the same vain, look at Korea, or North Korea. What are they trying to do? They've got wmd's, and they know it, so they're bluffing, trying not to lose face. This is an inscrutable Asian mindset that filters down to every fabric of society, even the hagwons that we work at and the daily lifestyles we go through with here. You ever get angry at your boss for not paying you and they just smile, or laugh and pretend nothing's wrong? They don't want to be humiliated.
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Bulsajo



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr.NiceGuy wrote:
Arthur Fonzerelli wrote:
Quote:
Westerners really don't have this concept of saving face. We try to admit when we're wrong, albeit some do, like you say, try to cover up.


So which one is it???? Do Westerners try to say face or not??? You just proved my point that "saving face" is not unique to Asians...


No, they don't. We refer to it as a unique Asian trait, a sort of bluffing. It's something that the Westerners don't portray as often, that's all. Quit harping!


Who is the 'we' in "We refer to it as a unique Asian trait"? The Fonz appears to have some valid points, which you have chosen to categorize as harping.
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