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Drakoi

Joined: 26 Sep 2003 Location: The World
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 7:53 am Post subject: The challenge for gyopos |
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The exclusivity of Corean culture manifests itself in ways that are strange and often shocking to outsider-and no people are more shocked at this cultural exclusivity than those of Corean ancestry who were born and raised outside Corea. When Corean-Americans, Corean-Canadians, and so forth go to their homeland to work or just to visit, it is a pilgrimage that affects them deeply. they are going back to their roots and arrive in an emotional high that makes them extraordinarily sensitive to every sight, every sound.
But much to the shock and chagrin of most "overseas Coreans," especially those who have gone to Corea on job assignments, they quickly discover that they are not always welcomed back as long-lost sons by Coreans in general. Some Coreans, in fact, treat them with the kind of disdain usually reserved for traitors. Few, if any of the returnees speak Corean fluently, and what they do speak is old-fashioned. They also do not know, or are awkward in using Corean etiquette in their personal and business relationships. As a result they are often looked on by strangers and newly met acquaintances as curiosities at best and as cultural dummies at worst.
When native-born Coreans encounter people who look exactly like they do but who talk like and act like foreigners, they are first of all surprised and then disbelieving. Among some Coreans-taxi drivers are good examples-this disbelief can readily turn to anger because their spontaneous reaction is that the individual is putting on air, pretending not to be Corean. Corea's efforts to globalize its economy and internationalize its people are thus at odds with the emotional reaction of those who have not yet accepted these principles.
Because of this ongoing cultural exclusivity, foreign-born and -raised Coreans do not automatically benefit from the special guest category that Coreans almost always extend to non-Corean foreigners, especially Caucasian Westerners. Instead they are seen as Coreans who willingly gave up their motherland and their culture and in doing so have diminished themselves.
However, if overseas Coreans are aware of the cultural barriers they face in trying to "fit" into present-day Corea, have pleasant personalities, and are deliberately humble and polite, they can eventually earn a status that is known as 'uri nara saram' which means "our country's people." This label is something like being given the status of "honorary Corean." But it is generally effective only among an individual's circle of friends and associates on whom one has already worked his or her charms. The individual has to go through the same complex routine of developing an uri nara saram relationship with each new person met.
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-Boye' Lafayette De Mente, 1998
This pretty mcuh rings true in my experience. Unfortunately De Mente makes no mention of adoptees who neither left willingly nor were given ANY instruction in Corean etiquette. For this subgroup within a subgroup within a subgroup, the challenge is even greater. But there is help,
http://www.goal.or.kr/ |
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Tiger Beer

Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 8:11 am Post subject: |
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Pretty interesting stuff.. and yeah, I can definetely see that as applying.
Generally, Koreans put people in very specific boxes.. if you are caucasian you are expected and its very shocking if you do anything seemingly non-western -- eating kimchee, using chopsticks, knowing how to read Korean letters, etc., the list goes significantly more in depth. Each and any one of these is incredibly shocking to the extreme. We're all suppose to eat hamburgers everyday, couldn't possibly have bothered to study even basic Korean, have never heard of or considered going to places like NoRaeBangs, Videobangs, tried kimchee, etc. How do we even find our way homes when we leave the house? Its all just astonishing to the extreme.. and.. have we ever tried Korean food before? (despite having lived here a long time).
On the other hand, for a Kyopo, their box is to know every single detail in minute detail from Day 1. Anything less to exact perfection is considered a shock and just simply unbelievable and un-understandable. How can anyone who is Korean not be 100% Korean? Why would he pretend or be ignorant of these things.. its just not possible? Exact opposite.
Infinitely easier to be the obvious looking foreigner..
I've also heard similar things among the African-American population who hope to go to a land dominated by African people.. only to find a completely different mindset than they expect and the exact opposite of what they had in a utopia 'motherland' kind of wishful thinking mindset..
I think this happens on many levels.. also interesting is caucasian people after spending significant time in places like Korea.. trying to readjust back to life in the West.. and all the memories and realities of the place kind of jar you and throw you off and nothing like you had remembered or expected upon returning.. hard cold reality
But with anything.. if you go 'back' and anything you do whatever it is.. at a certain point you just kind of 'fit' into things somehow or another.. or in whatever you do for that matter.. |
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eamo

Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 8:40 am Post subject: |
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I sympathise with the status of the Korean gyopyo. It seems like you guys are in an in-between world where you are not fully accepted by your adopted country or Korea.
It reminds me of the North-Americans who visit Ireland on the basis of their Irish ancestory. Many believe they will be accepted as a fellow Irishman. It doesn't really work like that. They don't share the experience of growing up in Ireland.
I prefer it when Korean-Americans (and Irish-Americans) simply describe themselves as American. I think it's easier for all parties that way. |
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crazylemongirl

Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 8:49 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
It reminds me of the North-Americans who visit Ireland on the basis of their Irish ancestory. Many believe they will be accepted as a fellow Irishman. It doesn't really work like that. They don't share the experience of growing up in Ireland. |
Similar deal for those down south. I think a lot of european descended new zealanders and aussies encounter similar problems when they go back to the home country (which they are often removed from by at least 2-3 generations) to find out that shock horror they actually aren't european but they don't want to admit from their pacific either (since mostly poor brown people live there).
CLG |
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eamo

Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 9:39 am Post subject: |
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Where you grew up is what you are. I don't put much store in genetics relating to cultural awareness. |
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buddy bradley

Joined: 24 Aug 2003 Location: The Beyond
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 9:42 am Post subject: |
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Boo hoo hoo! That is so tough! *sniff* How do you cope? *snort!* |
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Yaya

Joined: 25 Feb 2003 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 10:50 am Post subject: |
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eamo wrote: |
I prefer it when Korean-Americans (and Irish-Americans) simply describe themselves as American. I think it's easier for all parties that way. |
Yeah, I'd prefer it, too, if most Americans believed it. You still get the "I mean, where are you really from?" question a lot. |
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Tiger Beer

Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 11:55 am Post subject: |
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eamo wrote: |
It reminds me of the North-Americans who visit Ireland on the basis of their Irish ancestory. Many believe they will be accepted as a fellow Irishman. It doesn't really work like that. They don't share the experience of growing up in Ireland. |
I learned that a long time ago as well.. as I sometimes think of myself as somewhat of an Irish-American.. (paternal lineage - patrinial?).. plus a Father who identifies himself very strongly as 'Irish' which is actually significantly more 'Irish-American'.
I think at one point.. you definetely are not Irish by any means at all.. we have no connection, no culture, no day-to-day reality.. we just kind of get ingrained with this basically 'Irish-American Pride' of having a St. Patricks Day, John F. Kennedy (one of the most popular Presidents in the USA), we get to identify ourselves as a 'minority' at one point in our nation's history.. yeehaa.. we had tough times like african-americans or something or another.. an entire history there.. but its totally and completely 100% Irish-American.. and actually has nothing to do whatsoever with Ireland or Irish.. only people who came here from that demographic background a 150 years ago, etc.
But anyhow, I agree.. when I meet an Irish person I go well out of my way to downplay it as I know it has no real connection.. not anymore than a Korean-American has with a Korea person.. or an African-American person has with an African person.. etc.
That being said, any Irish person will always have a very special status with any Irish-American person.. probably always for as long as their is that identity of existance within the USA.. |
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dogbert

Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 5:47 pm Post subject: Re: The challenge for gyopos |
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Drakoi wrote: |
This pretty mcuh rings true in my experience. Unfortunately De Mente makes no mention of adoptees who neither left willingly nor were given ANY instruction in Corean etiquette. For this subgroup within a subgroup within a subgroup, the challenge is even greater. But there is help,
http://www.goal.or.kr/ |
Hard row to hoe indeed.
Rant |
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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Um, Drakoi, I liked your post, it was very nice, except I didn't understand the constant mentions of "Corea" and "Coreans". I looked these words up in the dictionary, but they're not there. Why is that? |
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little mixed girl
Joined: 11 Jun 2003 Location: shin hyesung's bed~
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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.....
Last edited by little mixed girl on Fri May 09, 2008 6:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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whatthefunk

Joined: 21 Apr 2003 Location: Dont have a clue
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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Corporal wrote: |
Um, Drakoi, I liked your post, it was very nice, except I didn't understand the constant mentions of "Corea" and "Coreans". I looked these words up in the dictionary, but they're not there. Why is that? |
Rets blay a pun kame where we jange all dhe pirst retters in words so dhat we appear nore individual. |
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posco's trumpet
Joined: 20 Apr 2003 Location: Beneath the Underdog
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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Last edited by posco's trumpet on Sat Dec 06, 2003 8:59 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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whatthefunk wrote: |
Rets blay a pun kame where we jange all dhe pirst retters in words so dhat we appear nore individual. |
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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I love Kanada. I miss seeing other Kanadians. I hope when my daughter grows up she will not be a whiny cyopo. Any suggestions on how to raise her so that as an adult she is not a konfused khameleon? |
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