Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Jizzo T. Clown]

Since so many women on this board find the pain of men amusing, I thought I'd start this, since the pain of a female heartbreak is equally amusing.

Don't forget to include all the graphic details!

[Atavistic]

Sorry, of the three Major Relationships I've had, two of them were just done. One I should've ended years earlier and I was so over it by the time I dumped it that there really wasn't any pain. The second, whatever.

The third? Painful heart? Talk about pain in the ass.

We were engaged. He broke the engagement in a fit of post-PhD thesis panic.

Months later he admitted he screwed up. OK, well, I'm not coming back.

Then, recently, he started crawling back, calling, emailing, "just to chat." I am seriously into someone else, and even if I weren't, I wouldn't want Peter Pan.

Man needs to go away.

Pain in the butt.

The end.

[mole]

Excellent concept, JTC. I'd expect sniveling whiney replies which Atavistic certainly didn't give.
I think I speak for most saying nobody will be judgemental if your heartbreak story is about a same-sex relationship.

I hope we hear from kermo and princess.

[MollyBloom]

When I was younger, heartbreak was frequent because I was a young, immature, unrealistic romantic who believed in the happiness that the media threw at me.

I left my last boyfriend for someone else (the man I am with now), but that was a difficult time because I was going through some family stuff at the same time. I felt that he broke my heart because he disappointed me; he did not try (yes, try) to give me what I needed. Obviously I found it in someone else, so I left him.

When I was younger (high school & college) I used to fall in love quickly and get my heart broken, so I was always in love-angst. Although, I have left a guy because he went to the Jersey Shore and returned to surprise me with a bed FULL of stuffed animals, cheap boardwalk jewelry (I'm no snob, but it was plastic, and I was over 20 years old) and yes, a hermit crab. I guess it was a sweet gesture, but the love den of stuffed animals made me want to puke. When I broke up with him he stole a hubcap form my car!

[Big_Bird]

I think I've had a couple of minor heartbreaks, but not devastating stuff. Took a few days or weeks to stop feeling a bit blue. But mostly, my problem has been in doing the heartbreaking which, in a way, is much much worse. When your own heart is broken, you just buy a few boxes of Kleenexs and get over it (though I can make light in this way because I've never been dumped by 'the one' which I know must be very hard). You have no choice. You just get on with it.

But, breaking a heart is much more problematic. I've always found this very hard to cope with. The problem here is, you do have a choice. And that is much worse. In fact on two occasions, I've spent more than a year building up to breaking another's heart. In hindsight wish I hadn't been such a coward, and had done it immediately. I wasted a few years with men I didn't want to be with, but cared too much about to hurt. But it was stupid, I wasted their time too.

I find it much harder dealing with another's pain than my own. And I've spent a lot of time feeling very upset and miserable about another's broken heart.

Stupid, I am.

[jessie-b]

[mole]

[Jizzo T. Clown]

[tigerbluekitty]

I been heartbroken over myself. Been heartbroken over comic book stories. Been heartbroken over lost dreams. Believe me, it's painful.

I never been heartbroken over a guy though, mainly cuz I didn't exactly grow up as a naive, lovey-dovey, romantic. Growing up I played video games, mainly Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat. I always saw myself as a gamer and guys as competition. Been around them, learned how they are and how they think, as the saying goes "study your enemy" - all I can say is I'm not impressed.

Being a gamer carried over to my dating life where I naturally became a player, knowing what I did about guys. I was the girl who made guys cry, and yeah I know it sounds bad but it was fun. Talks with my girl-friends over guy problems always annoyed me. They need to wake up and learn how to become players. Being a player is much more fun and satisfying.

[mole]

[kermo]

Hmmmm. Well, if you insist...

The last time I was heart-broken was about a week after falling in love. I don't fall easy, but this guy (with the help of Jack Johnson and some candlelight) somehow lured my skittish heart into a box, and then smashed it with a hammer.

We both knew he was leaving the country. We'd always fancied each other a bit, but were too sensible to do anything about it. I let him kiss me. I let him dance with me, shuffling gently around his apartment, whispering beautiful lyrics in my ear. I had expected a make-out or a tussle, but here's how he described what followed: "You needed to be loved and for
those nights before I left I did love you. I loved you like you should be loved."

I kissed him goodbye, and he something like "Be nice to your administrators. Be nice to your students. But don't be good to them. You're only good to me."

I had no idea what this meant. Was he asking me not to "be good" to anyone else? Was I supposed to wait for him? Be his girlfriend? Walking away from that door, I felt like all my skin was being peeled off. I felt like I needed to go out and buy the darkest chocolate I could find. I wrote him a letter. For the next week, I continued to feel *flayed.* Finally, after a week, he responded, and I realized that his "love" had been either a moralistic justification for "baser" needs, or a patronising, compassionate gesture.

I hated myself being such a wimp, for letting him have an "emotional one-night stand" with me. For every day of sweetness and delight, there followed a day of anguish and nausea. Thankfully, it passed, and I can now listen to his ringtone without crying. I can't believe I just wrote that.

[tigerbluekitty]

[mole]

[tigerbluekitty]

[mole]

Adult ADD. heh. Understandable.