Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Dev]

I ask the question because it has turned me into an introvert.

Normally I am a pretty sociable guy who would smile and chat up strangers (as I have in other countries), but I've found the way Koreans behave towrd me and other foreigners to be unfriendly.

They stare, but won't talk ato me. Instead some will giggle and chat ABOUT me to their friends. People working in the service sector like waitresses give off a weird vibe and stare at me when I come into restaurants.The end result is that when I leave my house, I don't even look at people and I don't feel motivated to have any kind of exchange with them. I feel like the circus clown, an object of amusement. Nowadays I spend a lot of time in my apartment - the only place where I can find peace.

[rubric]

Yes I think it has, but I also think I've always had the introvert gene.

[caniff]

Dev, you don't seem like a bad guy. I think you had a few (or more?) unwelcoming experiences with the locals.

Let me say:

You control how people treat you. I understand Korea is many times an uphill battle. But how you project yourself has a HUGE influence on how people will treat you. Koreans especially are very focused on your facial expressions when they first meet you.

I think you might be setting yourself up for more of the same with how you feel. When you walk into any establishment, wear a smile. A genuine one that indicates you just know it will be pleasant to be there. This is contagious the world over, and will influence (in almost all cases) the experience you actually end up having.

I'm not talking down to you. Just giving my take on it.

[mrsquirrel]

THailand turned me into a miserable bastar d

Korea keeps me as one.

I'm happy thar

[Dev]

[caniff]

[Dev]

[tigerbluekitty]

Perhaps the younger generation of Koreans are projecting the negative attitudes towards us. I can't help but sense a feeling of resentment coming from them. I know their life sucks, but they need to learn some hospitality and smile for god's sake!

[SPINOZA]

If I recall, Dev, you've been in Korea 3 years, right? It really does seem like it's time to move on for you, buddy. This is not a "if you don't like it, leave", it's a "if Korea is a daily torture for you, perhaps it'd be an idea if you left and went to somewhere where these problems are guaranteed to disappear". Mind you, if the benefits outweight the negatives of contuining in Korea, maybe put up with the bad things and think about the good things? Are you paying off loans and/or saving a mountain of cash like most of us, for instance?

I blame being Canadian on your delusional final paragraph. People from countries that do not have an institutionalized inferiority complex and identity crisis tend to see the relationship between Koreans and Westerners as precisely the opposite to what you describe.

[Junior]

Korea did give me a bad attitude, yes...
And I'm considering moving just because I want to be in a positive scenario..with happy people..with fewer complexes..


Introvert? No. I'm highly sociable, given the right company...

[PeteJB]

I feel at home with Koreans, because I'm very introvert. Ever since I was a fetus I was. But, with the right company, I'm fun..

[Richard Krainium]

I've been here now over 7 years straight and 2 and a 1/2 back in the late 80's. I've NEVER felt the overall vibe of negativity that so many posters on Dave's feel.

I get stared at, I stare back, then I crack a little smile and guess what? 9 times out of 10 they smile back.

Try it. For the most part, I feel in control of their emotions.

[SuperFly]

It's human nature that we want to be a "somebody" rather than a "nobody".

When William James wrote "Principles of Psychology" (Boston 1890), he wrote for people in our circumstances:

"No more fiendish punishment could be devised, were such a thing physically possible, than that one should be turned loose in a society and remain absolutely unnoticed by all the members therof. If no one turned around when we entered, answered when we spoke, or minded what we did, but if every person "cut us dead" and acted as if we were non-existant things, a kind of rage and impotent despair would before long well up in us"


How Koreans view themselves:




How Koreans view themselves compared to foreigners:




(Thank you Allain De Botton)

[VirginIslander]

I used to work with to Romanians. And they thought I was crazy for smiling at them every time I saw them. They said that in Romania you dont smile at stangers. And if you do, there is the possibility of getting punched in the face.

In short, dont go to Romania.


Superfly wrote

[SuperFly]

I'm not talking about being noticed in the literal sense. More like people taking you seriously.