Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ilsanman]

In yet another spin-off of the dishonesty thread, I will argue the other side. Koreans are honest.

And before the apologists and other idiots jump all over me...Yes, I am generalizing. And if I make a grammar or spelling error, I do not give 2 shits.

KOreans are often very honest. Brutally honest.

Someone I know is a little overweight. Maybe a little to western thinking. But VERY overweight to a Korean mind. She gets called fat and told to go on a diet on a regular basis. When those words are said, there is no sugar coating. It is said very bluntly, with no care in the world about her feelings.

I think (generalizing, yes, I admit it) most westerners that have decent social skills would not say that to her, or if she asked, they would sugar coat their answer, or just deny there being a problem.


Here is another example. If someone fucks up at work, or does something the boss doesn't like, the boss is quite likely to just shout at and/or demean the person. Sometimes publicly. It happened at a school I used to work at, and 2 western teachers walked out for that very reason.

I bet a lot of this comes from Confuscianist thinking. The older or superior person doesn't have to watch his/her tongue, because the young person's feelings are less important.

Am I wrong? Bring on the apologists.

[I-am-me]

Those koreans are living in the wrong century. I dont blame any westerner for walking out on someone like that.

[Matman]

Some things that are a social taboo in the west - like talking about someone's weight and salary - are not in Korea. It does seem very rude but if it gets to you that much just politely tell them they'd looked better if they had double eyelid surgery.

[mikowee]

I think they're only overly honest regarding appearances. Other subjects may require more tact. I've been criticized a few times for being too honest when answering questions.

[Mr. Pink]

It's funny. In Canada I can ask someone if they live with their boyfriend or girlfriend...and no one thinks twice about such a question. While asking a young person here who has their own place if their boyfriend or girlfriend ever comes to visit them at said place, one is generally left with silence and a stare that says "how could you ask such a question..." (Especially if you ask a female this question...or you insinuate that her boyfriend has spent the night at her place...)

Some things are okay to be honest about...other things just aren't.

[DCJames]

What I don't understand is the balance Koreans have between being honest and saving face for the person you're being honest to. Honesty is a doubled-edged sword and there doesn't seem to be any consistency in how they wield it.

For example, a Korean would make a remark about a foreigner being overweight. Don't Koreans understand that this will make the person (on the recieving end of the remark) lose face because of their remark?? Yet at other times, Koreans purposely withhold their true feelings about you in order to keep you from losing face.

For Koreans keeping their own face and preserving the face of those around you is of utmost importance, yet Koreans sometimes speak so honestly that people are offended and lose face.

This happens all the time between Koreans.

[Fresh Prince]

One of the things I find refreshing about Korea is the absence of the ultra-PC cult that has enveloped the Western world. It isn't always fun to be on the receiving end of the honesty but I think for the most part they have good intentions.

[DCJames]

[reactionary]

they can dish it, but they can't take it.

try suggesting one of your students has a learning disability sometime. to your school's counselor, to the parent, whatever.

go ahead, try it. after all, it's being honest.

[The_Conservative]

[djsmnc]

I openly criticize the bastards all the time and they love me for it

[pest2]

Part of it is the confucian thing, as the OP pointed out. A boss or older person will say just about anything at any time.

Part of it is about uniformity in Korean society and the shamanistic-way that uniformity is maintained.

People SHOULD all have the same hair, clothes, appearance, weight, etc etc because they should. WE ARE KOREANS, therefore we have to look, act, and think the same because we should. The logic doesn't go any further.

But when they are telling you these things, it wont matter whether or not you're Korean... its not associated with national identity on a conscious level, I think... the national identity-thing just created it but Koreans use it to apply to all of mankind; especially all of mankind in Korea.

[nautilus]

koreans are "brutally honest" about things that shouldn't matter, but "brutally dishonest" about things that really do matter.

eg "You are too fat" (brutally honest)

or

"No, there are no hidden clauses in the contract" - (dishonest).

[therooster]

[PeteJB]

Rude as it may be, more often than not it's true.

If you smoke, your gonna be told "That's not good for you.."

If you drink a lot, your gonna be told "That's not good for you.."

Why should fat people be treated differently?