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Making Korean friends
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Iago



Joined: 07 Aug 2006
Location: Dunedin, NZ

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:52 pm    Post subject: Making Korean friends Reply with quote

Hi, I was wondering how difficult it is to make Korean friends while in Korea?

I haven't quite got there yet but will be in about a month.

I already have a couple of Korean friends in Kwangju but don't really want to go there.

cheers
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King Baeksu



Joined: 22 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Making Korean friends Reply with quote

Iago wrote:
Hi, I was wondering how difficult it is to make Korean friends while in Korea?


Making Korean friends is easy, especially for Westerners, as long as you remember the "Three Never's":

1. Never speak Korean.

2. Never be ugly.

3. Never criticize Korea, Big Nose!
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Freakstar



Joined: 29 Jun 2007

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Making Korean friends Reply with quote

Iago wrote:
Hi, I was wondering how difficult it is to make Korean friends while in Korea?

I haven't quite got there yet but will be in about a month.

I already have a couple of Korean friends in Kwangju but don't really want to go there.

cheers


Do you speak Korean? If not, then it won't be easy. Koreans are very cliquish...I'm told that it's even hard for Koreans to befriend other Koreans outside their family, work or school. Plus, there's the language barrier - gesturing and jokes at the expense of mutual miscommunication is only fun for so long and can get old...

Your best bet is to try to get know Koreans that you work with or interact with on a daily basis...like maybe the "hottie Song Hye Gyo lookalike" that sells you cigs every day? Cool

I understand that Koreans who teach at English hagwons are also more open to hanging out with "waygookins"...you'll find them in Itaewon or Hongdae on the weekends hanging out with the foreigners.

Good luck.
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ruffie



Joined: 11 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't worry, If you have something they want, they will come to you.
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Oreovictim



Joined: 23 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, yeah, I've made TONS of Korean friends. They especially want to hang out with you right before having a big English exam. Gee . . . I wonder why that is? Maybe they just feel nervous and want to get distracted by hanging out with a good pal.

Yeah, another strange thing; they always want to hang out in libraries or in the (few) quiet coffee shops there are. Don't get me wrong, when you do go out to a restaurant or bar, they always bring their guy friends, and you never see any of their girlfriends that they talk about so much.

Okay, all situations are like this. I do have a few cool Korean friends. But the one that I hang out with the most spent his high school and college years in America, has already scored a perfect (or near perfect) score on his TOEIC exam, and has no reason to practice his English-e.

You shouldn't have a problem making friends. REAL friends? That's a different story.
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jajdude



Joined: 18 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Real friends?

Yeah, we use "friend" too liberally.

Sometimes "drinking buddy" might be the correct term.
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PeteJB



Joined: 06 Jul 2007

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try KoreanFriendFinder, you'll get a few takers there. Just watch out for the Oppa crowd.
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Pak Yu Man



Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Location: The Ida galaxy

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a silly question. How easy is it to make friends back home?

Some Koreans are friendly, some are a$$es.
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 4:35 am    Post subject: Re: Making Korean friends Reply with quote

Freakstar wrote:
Iago wrote:
Hi, I was wondering how difficult it is to make Korean friends while in Korea?

I haven't quite got there yet but will be in about a month.

I already have a couple of Korean friends in Kwangju but don't really want to go there.

cheers




I understand that Koreans who teach at English hagwons are also more open to hanging out with "waygookins"...you'll find them in Itaewon or Hongdae on the weekends hanging out with the foreigners.

Good luck.


More "open" to hanging out with waygookins (foreigners)? Very Happy
Nice choice of words and true. A lot of Koreans don't want to hang out with foreigners. Maybe they're embarrassed and don't want to stick out.

A Korean hanging out with a foreigner is like a very tall man walking a Dalmation down the street. Everybody looks.
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 4:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One thing you almost never see in Korea is a Korean young woman holding her foreigner boyfriend's hand.

You constantly see Korean women holding their Korean boyfriend's hand, but never the foreigner boyfriend's hand.

What does that tell you about the general attitude of Koreans towards foreigners? Very Happy
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Smee



Joined: 24 Dec 2004
Location: Jeollanam-do

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it helps if you're involved with an extracurricular activity. While most of my coworkers have been pleasant, they haven't really been too social. A lot of times I can understand, especially if there's an age difference (I'm 26, and they're often married with kids and obligations). But at one of my hagwon the teachers were discouraged from socializing with the foreign teachers, and I've heard this being the case at other places as well. Especially if it involves a mixing of the sexes.

If you're involved with something else around the community---whether martial arts or music, or something as simple as hiking or exercising in the park---that seems to make things easier.

I've had mixed results making Korean friends. I've met a few quality friends, but in general they've been (1) coworkers who are friendly but don't get too personal, (2) interested in making an "English" friend, or (3, the most common) nice enough people who are very much into the routine of drinking, drinking, drinking, and asking the same questions, like "do you like _____ (food)" or "how about Korea?" That gets old after about 3 days, and as I've been in country a while I definitely steer clear of that type.
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Homer
Guest




PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As it was said...there are good people and bad people here...so making friends will depend on that, on you, and on how you approach things...

I made some close friends here and many acquaintances (funny...that tends to happen everywhere...few close friends, many acquaintances you see irregularly)....

Of course if you behave like an idiot it might make it hard to make friends.....also to make Korean friends you have to hang out with Koreans sometime...not just at the westerner watering hole Wink

There can be a language barrier and culture will only be a barrier if you make it one.
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dev wrote:
One thing you almost never see in Korea is a Korean young woman holding her foreigner boyfriend's hand.

You constantly see Korean women holding their Korean boyfriend's hand, but never the foreigner boyfriend's hand.

What does that tell you about the general attitude of Koreans towards foreigners? Very Happy


I see it all the time, especially around the 'Muns (Namdae and Dongdae) and in Insadong. Just saw it last week at Han River Park. I think this post says more about how much you need to get out.
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nautilus



Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:34 am    Post subject: Re: Making Korean friends Reply with quote

King Baeksu wrote:

3. Never criticize Korea, Big Nose!


I count it a test of the friendship.

If they allow me to criticise korea, i keep them. If they don't, they're gone.

If they really like you, they'll involve you in those sorts of conversations.
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Atavistic wrote:
Dev wrote:
One thing you almost never see in Korea is a Korean young woman holding her foreigner boyfriend's hand.

You constantly see Korean women holding their Korean boyfriend's hand, but never the foreigner boyfriend's hand.

What does that tell you about the general attitude of Koreans towards foreigners? Very Happy


I see it all the time, especially around the 'Muns (Namdae and Dongdae) and in Insadong. Just saw it last week at Han River Park. I think this post says more about how much you need to get out.


I seriously doubt this. Why only in certain places? Why not in places like Lotte Department Store or on restaurant streets? Simple. They're afriad of Korean guys getting angry, giving disapproving looks, and possibly saying something nasty.

There are accounts of foreigners being harrassed for being seen with Korean girls reported regularly on Dave's ESL.

Friends have told me they don't hold their girlfriend's hand in public because of the odd chance they may run into a family member or someone close to the family.

One of my buddies have been dating a K girl for two years now. Things are getting pretty serious, but she won't tell her parents about him. He's disappointed.

OP, if you come to Korea, keep in your mind that it may not be easy to make any real friends in this country. Many Koreans are not ready for it yet.

It's one of the mysteries in Korea that they want foreigners to teach them English, but they don't like foreigners very much.
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