Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Dome Vans]

PBEnglish wrote:

[howie2424]

Two German guys buy the nuclear plant from Mr. Burns and make this announcement over the PA system;

"Vee have competed our review of zee plant and regret to announce zee following layoffs, in alphabetical order. Simpson, Homer-------------that is all"


or Ralph "Me failing English? That's unpossible!"

[Boodleheimer]

Oh, you think this stolen 'H' is a laugh riot, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl!

Skinner

[Hank the Iconoclast]

Moe takes a lie detector test in "Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 2"

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No.
[buzz]
Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him.
[ding]
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
[buzz]
Moe: A date.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner with friends.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner alone.
[buzz]
Moe: Watching TV alone.
[buzz]
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
[buzz]
Moe: Sears catalog.
[ding]
Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment.
[buzz]

Oh crap someone already dit it

[Hank the Iconoclast]

"King Size Homer"

[Homer arrives at a movie theater]
Homer Simpson: One for "Honk", please.
Ticket Dealer: Oh. Gee, uh, just a minute. I have to check with the manager.
Ticket Dealer: [to manager, referring to Homer] That overweight guy wants to see the movie.
Manager: I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid our facilities are not equipped to meet your needs.
Homer Simpson: What are you talking about?
Manager: What I'm saying, sir, is that a man of your carriage couldn't possibly fit in our seats.
Homer Simpson: I can sit in the aisle.
Manager: I'm afraid that would violate the fire code.
Bystander: Hey, Fatty! I've got a movie for ya: A Fridge Too Far!
[the rapidly-assembling crowd laughs]
Homer Simpson: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here tosee Honk If You're Horny in peace.
Manager: Sir, if you'd just quiet down, I'd be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.
Homer Simpson: This may surprise you, but you can't buy me off with food. I'm sick of all your stereotypes and cheap jokes! The overweight individuals in this country are just as smart and talented and hard working as everybody else. And they're going to make their voices heard! All they need is a leader.


"Lisa the Vegetarian"

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbeque-wrecking, no-nothing know-it-all!
Lisa: That's IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am out of here!
[Leaves and slams the door]
Homer: That's it! Go to your room!


"Blood Feud"

Homer: Bart, I'm not asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You may not realize it now, but when you save a rich guy's life, he showers you with riches. Don't you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough, so they got Hercules and he used his mighty strength, and bingo. Anyway, the moral is, is that the lion was so happy, that he gave Hercules this big... thing... of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days.
Bart: Oh.

"Bart the Murderer"

Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
Fat Tony: Bart, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
Bart: No.
Fat Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Uh uh.
Fat Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?
Bart: I guess that's okay.
Fat Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
Bart: Hell, no.


Just too many.

[mcgeezer]

Homer: What are you taling about Marge, I'm in PERFECT health...

Marge: Homer I'm not the one who puts butter in my coffee...

[mcgeezer]

oh ya and this one...from a new season, 19 maybe?


(homer and bart sitting at a diner-style breakfast place...Homer is muddling through the menu....)

Homer: I'd like the smiley-faced breakfast please; you know the one with the two egg eyes and the bacon smile?

Waiter: Yes..

Homer: Except I also want a a bacon nose, bacon ears, bacon hair, and a five-o'clock shadow with bacon bits...

[faster]

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. -- Homer Simpson

[Boodleheimer]

[faster]

"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!" - Ralph Wiggum
--------
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may know me from other educational videos, like 'Out With Gout '88' and 'Let's Save Tony Orlando's House!'" - Troy McClure
--------
"Homer, did you stay up all night eating 64 slices of American cheese again?" - Marge Simpson
---------
Troy McClure: Hi. I�m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as �Smoke Yourself Thin� and �Get Some Confidence, Stupid!�
------
When Sideshow Bob is in court, accused of trying to kill Bart, the lawyer says to him on the stand, But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"
Sideshow Bob responds by saying, "No, That's German for, 'The Bart, The."
Someone in the courtroom then whispers, "No one who speaks German could be an evil man."
-------
"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!" --Grandpa Simpson
------
Otto: I don't no why they call 'em fingers... they never fing...

Otto: Oh wait... there they go...
------
Homer: This hot dog tastes funny.
Apu: Yes. That is right. We cleaned all the grease from the machine!
Homer: Awwww! But without the grease, all you can taste is the hog anus.
------
I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try. -- Bart Simpson
-----
The Simpsons got robbed, and Lisa asked Marge if they had insurance.

Marge: "Homer, tell your daughter what you got when you went to get insurance."

Homer: "Curse you, magic beans!!!"
---------
"Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No."

[Dome Vans]

[reactionary]

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. They're big, they're about 400 pounds.....they make ice. No wait, a woman is a lot like a beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at one, you have to drink another woman.

[The_Eyeball_Kid]

[MANDRL]

I like it whenever a character grabs something and says 'yoink!'.

[KOREAN_MAN]

[Bart and Lisa are fighting. Marge is trying to stop the fight.]


Lisa: (Speaking to Bart) "At least, I was planned!"

Marge: "NOBODY was planned!"