Korean Job Discussion Forums

[noguri]

This is a question for people who have kids in Korea.

My kid is three (Western age) or four (Korean age). She has a lot of energy so I take her to some of the neighborhood play areas to expend some steam.

Much of the time the Korean kids are busy expending their own energy and don't take much notice of us. However, if there are some girls who are ten years old or older, they crowd around my daughter and exclaim "yeppuda" or "kiupda" and whatnot.

These Korean kids are not bad intentioned but they scare my kid. They crowd around her and stare and sometimes take photos of her with their cell phones.

Okay, I can handle it. My Korean language ability sucks but I can understand what they ask me in Korean, they ask if the child's mommy is Korean, where I come from, etc. Not xenophobia, just plain curiosity.

What I'm wondering is will this behavior continue later in her life? People staring at my daughter as if she's a fascinating monkey is not really okay. I mean, my daughter is half Korean, so if her dad is not on the playground with her, she won't seem so foreign, right? Or, will she always be subjected to stares and curiosity?

[ursus_rex]

My boy gets a similar reaction. It doesn't bother him, though, so no real problem. However, it is a bit annoying when all you want to do is play with your kid and not be interrupted. Fortunately, there are parts of the day when our playground is nearly empty... I work afternoons and early evenings, so the mornings are pretty clear of intrusive youngsters.

That being said, I don't know how long the attention will last. Aaron is only 18 months old, so who knows. His haircolour is fairly distinctive, being a lighter shade of brown than most children's in Korea... but not unusually so (given the dye-jobs I've seen on some children here). His eyes are brown with Asian form. It may depend upon how different from other Korean children he appears. Our son may attract attention because the whole neighbourhood knows his ancestory, and not simply by how he looks... that's something that may never change.

Anyhow, the attention is not necessarily a bad thing... it's friendly, in any case... and I hope it stays the same as he ages.

[Scott in Incheon]

My daughters are 7 and 5 (Korean age) and they still get the looks and questions...they answer them and usually there is no problem....but sometimes I get the feeling they would just like to be left alone.

My older daughter sometimes doesn't want to go to the bathhouse because of the questions she gets...but it isn't a real problem. The get treated normally at their kindergarten and that is good.

[Homer]

My son is nearly 3 and it happens at our local playground as well. He does not mind it at all and even talks to the kids (with his ever growing vocabulary..lol).

Sometimes I guess it could be annoying but most of the time it does not happen at all. There are kids at the park who are there regularly as well and my son plays with them almost everyday.

[Mr. Pink]

Once your kid starts speaking Korean, its all good.

The first time I took my kid to the playground like that she was freaked out. If you go to a neighbourhood one with the same kids all the time, it has the advantage that they get used to you as well.

Some of the older kids would "watch out" for my daughter...they'd get protective if new kids came along. Was kind of cute to see.

I got more annoyed that some of the kids would come up and talk to me...I really wasn't interested in that after a day of working with Korean kids.

PS - one thing FAR worse than that is older ppl who continually insist on giving my kid candy. I still can't believe that most don't ask my permission first...no wonder Korean kids have bad teeth.

[anae]

I certainly hope that the swarming dies down. My almost three year old started having a very bad reaction to people getting in her space and touching her. I guess my daughter's Korean isn't good enough, because kids would not back off it she told them to cut it out. I usually had to intervene and even then some boys didn't get the message.

[butlerian]

[Optimus Prime]

I've taught my son to pull down his gochu to anyone who stares at him. Of course then even the other Korean parents (mostly moms) stare in fascination.

[samoanz]

Hi there

I have been here going on 2 years now and my son is 5.5 years (western) but being Samoan he is the same height and size as most 9yr olds (Korean age).

He has very dark straight hair much like Koreans but he has large eyes and dark brown skin, so he obviously a 'foreigner'. In teh 2 years we have been here he has not gone a day without people staring, pointing, kooing, giving him candy, taking photos and some have even given him money!! (I always make him give the money back because I don't want him to get used to the idea of accepting money from strangers!!)

I don't think this will ever change if you live in small town Korea (as we did for our first year) or even a mid-sized Metropolitan City. My son's Korean is pretty good now so most times he's fine with it, but there are times when we are out having a nice dinner or going to a movie when he will say something to me and then get all shy and hide in my jacket, when I ask him what's wrong, he usually says something like 'Mummy, why are all the people staring at me?'. I have to tell him 'Because you're so cute' - that sounds better than 'because you're different'.

In any case, this will probably continue into his pre-teen life (if we saty here that long)... heck, I get stared at just as much... old ladies in my country town used to shriek and cross the road at the sight of me, kids point and laugh and people going past in cars heckle me (one time someone threw rubbish at me!!)

I think it is just a reality that we have to live with as long as Korea remains a mainly 'monocultural' society... all we can do is promote cultural awareness and inclusiveness as much as we can in our own small corner of Korea