Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fromtheuk]

What's worth more, your co-teacher or a toe rag. Discuss.

I read a thread just a few minutes ago which is something I can relate to.

In my special class, my co-teacher always tells the answers to the students, it's as though giving them time to think and letting them try to answer it on their own, will somehow lead to world war 3 or even worse than that, lead to her feeling embarrassed.

I don't know why she should feel that way because I think she is doing quite well considering English is not her first language.

I have written threads previously about co-teachers and our so-called fellow colleagues/Korean teachers.

Their are 2 male teachers who work at my school. The way Koreans attempt to subtly bad mouthe others is about as subtle as a brick, they lack finesse in that department.

My co-teacher used to bad mouthe me a lot, sometimes while I could see, now she has the decency to do it behind my back, like most self-respecting scumbags tend to do!

I've also noticed something else, please feel free to tell me if you ever notice this.

Whenever a bona fide qualified Korean teacher speaks to my co-teacher, my co-teacher is very courteous and upbeat, but when she talks to myself she is often abrupt, cold and condescending.

My co-teacher is full of bows and polite mannerisms when talking to the Vice P. and P. That's to be expected, the boss commands that here, but when my co-teacher speaks with Korean teachers it is either light-hearted banter or politeness, but with me, sometimes it feels like she is talking to a 6th grade student.

For example, in class, if my co-teacher is feeling moody and it's my turn to do something, she will abruptly point to me, which looks like she is saying 'hey, just get on with it!' She is either deliberately nasty or lacks manners.

In fairness, I think it is a mixture of both.

After a long period of thought, I've realized this is not paranoia, but fact. I have little respect for my co-teacher now, because she has consistently been a toe rag, and her poor character, illustrated by how she treats people differently, sometimes amuses me.

Thank God I have never tried to socialize with some of these heinous twits masquerading as humans.

I agree, watch your backs, you can't trust anybody these days, especially co-teachers.

My conclusion: To compare toe rags to co-teachers was rude of me. I would like to extend my sincerest apology to any toe rags offended by this thread

[thegadfly]

Do you speak to your Korean co-teacher in Korean or in English?

Does your co-teacher speak to the other teachers in Korean or in English?

Could there be the outside possibility that her fear of (mis)using English, coupled with her less-than-perfect grasp of the language causes her to appear to be lacking in manners because of her directness, bluntness, or abruptness? Perhaps the only English she has ever practiced has been directed toward students, and so the only English she KNOWS how to use is the teacher-talking-to-a-student kind?

You were venting -- fine. You want a solution? Carry on some light-hearted banter with your co-teacher in Korean, and see if she warms up to you. Strike up a basic conversation about school or students or teaching methods, in Korean. You know, be like those other teachers she treats "better."

[Snowkr]

It is a shame that your co-teacher has been so rude to you but must you make comments such as "you can't trust anyone these days... especially co-teachers"?

You give an impression to others that any and all Korean co-teachers behave this way and it's simply not true.

While I am familiar with the cultural way of smiling to one's face and then talking negatively behind one's back or using Korean to badmouth foreigners here, I still don't think it's fair to put all K-teachers in that category.

My co-teacher and I had a misunderstanding last week. It was our first. She was very short with me. I was a little offended but decided to suck it up to cultural differences.

Less than 20 minutes later, she called me on my cell phone and apologized all over herself telling me that she was the one with the problem and to please not be offended.

While this may not be typical behavior for Koreans, there are those who do value their relationship with the foreign teacher especially if that foreign teacher can treat their Korean colleagues with respect and appreciation.

I am really becoming quite attached to my students here and I've learned to like my school however, this job is not really for me and I've been feeling a bit down and unsatisfied with it since I arrived.

I would most likely have resigned by now were it not for my co-teachers. They are most certainly not "toe rags".

[fromtheuk]

That's a fair point, obviously she knows the Korean teachers better and they speak the same language, so it's normal to expect them to be friendlier with each other. That's no problem.

It's when I'm in teacher's class for example, and my co-teacher sitting only a few desks away, looks irate, gives me a filthy look or two, and speaks in Korean with another teacher.

I read a thread on this forum once where another native teacher felt humiliated after holding a teacher's class, because the Korean teachers had such awful manners.

I don't think it takes a rocket scientist or a paranoid freak to work out when somebody is talking negatively about you.

The countless stories on this forum about some Koreans who have very mediocre manners is legendary, and sadly, I don't think my co-teacher is much different.

Fair enough, she tells me she has lots of paperwork to do, and that no Korean teacher wants a native teacher because of the paperwork.

My view is if you do a job willingly you should shut up and get on with it. I empathize with her situation, but she should look for another job if she is not willing to do it, without whining.

[thegadfly]

Um...aren't YOU whining about an aspect of your job? I mean, that is fine and all -- vent away -- but often when we take on a job, we don't really understand the little bs things that will crop up to annoy us, and not everyone is willing to just quit because of the little bs stuff.

You have some crap to deal with, and are whining about it, but you haven't quit. Good on you. She isn't exactly little Becky Sunshine, but she hasn't quit either, good on her.

My girlfriend is Korean and speaks English VERY well -- but we get into row after row because I keep thinking, since her English is indeed so good, that she understands the connotations and nuances of some of the things she says...most of the time it is totally MY fault, as I think she understands exactly what her words suggest in English, when really, she is forming the simplest direct sentence to convey her thoughts.

For example, I had a gym membership and had been sick for a few weeks, so I did not work out. It came time to renew my membership, and she said, "why do you even bother renewing your membership?" I got defensive and pi$$y, because of her wording...what she had wanted to say was, "I think you look great, you have been sick for a while, and you are busy with work -- why don't you let your membership lapse and take a break for a month or two?" Completely different feeling, eh?

[fromtheuk]

My co-teacher was initially very warm. But I suppose some people are simply retarded. They don't understand the concept of civility i.e. you are not obliged to be sociable, but to do your job.

My co-teacher tells me I am a 'perfect' teacher, so I do a good job, but I don't go on about it.

When she is abrupt with me and not with others, this shows she has bad manners. I am always civil, but her abruptness makes me care even less about her. I am civil not for her sake anyway, I behave that way with everybody, regardless of their status.

Whatever kind things she says to me, I really don't take to heart, because of the things I've mentioned.

I'm finding it difficult to stop myself from telling her to stick her compliments where the sun doesn't shine.

I think many humans are pathetic (yes, including myself) if you don't behave as they want you to, they behave bad, much like the students at our school!

As regards the comment, maybe I ought to behave like everybody else, to get kind treatment from my co-teacher, I am not an actor, I am who I am and I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not e.g. a shallow toad.

My co-teacher has consistently said positive things to me about myself, so although I am not claiming to be perfect, I can honestly say I've done nothing to deserve to be treated like a child.

She makes my skin crawl, and I think that is one thing we have in common. We have never argued once since I started this job, almost 7 months ago, but I am getting tired of her.

[fromtheuk]

I understand your point about misunderstandings due to language and I'm fully aware of them and don't feel irritated by that.

It's more to do with her non-verbal communication and how that is so very different with everybody else.

Anyway, as I said, I am always professional, I do my job and that's it really.

[thegadfly]

I am not saying "pretend to be something," I am pointing out that you probably are NOT speaking to her in her native language, and so her coldness to you may actually be nothing more than her fear of speaking in English. Even if you used horribly fractured Korean in trying to speak to her, you may find her to be much warmer and more personable than previously, because it puts her more in her own comfort zone -- she can speak her own language, which takes a LOT of stress off of her...again, I am speaking from anecdotal experience with someone in my life who "gets stressed out speaking English all the time." A few Korean-only afternoons make life a LOT easier....

Maybe she is just being rude. You are both being civil and doing your jobs -- good on ya both. I hope tensions ease rather than grow, and that you can have a pleasant-enough time finishing out your time. Cheers!

[crusher_of_heads]

Just like that box of chocolates-don't know hwat you'll get.

Mine was silver from Day One-she was reluctant at first to help me get a cellphone, but other than that stellar.

Once the initial fear of the unknown was dispelled 3 weeks in, she's gold.

Of course, I am fortunate-there are turds to be sure, ou just have to have minimal contact with them-I will be going to a steakhouse with my coteacher and one other K Teacher a week from Sunday-that's not to say all staff are like that, to say that would be stupid.