Korean Job Discussion Forums

[eamo]

In my constant striving to be the Perfect Gentleman I have a few etiquette grey areas which need cleared up.

Some habits and manners are different from country to country so it would be interesting to hear your take on these crucial issues!!!!

Fingernails
I got looks of disgust and many wrinkled noses one time in the teachers-room when I trimmed my fingernails (over the wastepaper basket). Is this a private activity for the home only?

Telephoning
Is it rude to terminate a phone conversation with a person who called you? I always feel guilty when I do this.

The Restaurant
I've noticed some people fall into an awkward silence when the waiter/waitress is at your table doing something. Even if it's in no way a personal conversation. Is this a mannners thing?

The Taxi
Where I come from, when you get a taxi by yourself it's expected that you sit up front with the driver. To slink into the backseat seems anti-social. Are you frontseat or backseat?

I've more but they're too anal to bother you all with.

[Joe Thanks]

[Tiger Beer]

Yeah, always backseat in USA and South America.. its because too many taxi drivers get robbed or the possibility of getting robbed. Almost always you sit in the backseat with a huge bulletproof glass between yourself and the taxi driver.. and you are definetely in the backseat trying to get your change through to him in the slot. Plus he can lock you in (I believe) so you can't make a runner at a stoplight or something crazy.. something like that.. I avoid taxis.. but this is my general impressions.. maybe I'm wrong.. (I've only taken taxis in NYC and South America).. nowhere else in the U.S. (Taxis in Asia are totally different and totally relaxed).

Restaurants. Sometimes I get quiet and sometimes I don't. No rules there. Depends.. if I'm with several people you just keep talking. But generally if its one-on-one having a dinner.. I think its just the intrusion of another person coming into your space or something. No rules however.

Fingernail clippers. I don't know if its good or bad. Usually I just do that at home though.. occassionally I've set out on steps of an apartment in front of people (makes sense to have the clippings fall into the earth).. but seems to get strange glances from people.. so don't do that anymore.

Telephoning. Kind of tough call. Phone calls are basically intrusionary in my feelings. Particularly now with the cellphone and if you dont answer your a jerk.. and if you do answer I find I'm always involved in something and dont' want the 10-minute 'what are you doing' conversation. My general feeling is that ALL people should ONLY text message or have very specific and short point or reason for calling you. Just the general 'hey how's your day today?' is very rude in my opinion. (Sometimes its okay.. but I find it more interruptionary than a pleasant surprise). Depends on the person calling however.

[Mr. Pink]

Koreans clip their nails ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Happens in:

My office
My classroom!
The SUBWAY? WTF ARE THEY THINKING!!!
The hospital (maybe needed there? no idea)

and walked into a convience store, the chick behind the counter is clipping away.


So your coworkers if they were Korean should be told it is a Korean thing to do it in public.

As for etiquette: DONT CUT YOUR NAILS IN PUBLIC!!!

About the Taxi, if you take a regular taxi in SK you are supposed to get in the front if you are the first on, so he can pick up more people...but I always ride in the back...my legs need the space!

[kiwikid]

I was taught that it's not a good idea to take a taxi alone (females) especially at night. If you do take a taxi always sit in the back as it is easier to fight off/ get away from the 'nasty' taxi man if he tries anything. I'd very rarely take a taxi in NZ they are way too expensive.

[Arthur Fonzerelli]

Can someone tell the koreans that smacking their mouths and making slurping sounds is considered rude in most parts of the world... It's also disgusting... I have seen businessmen, kids, beautifully-dressed women that look like runways models smacking their lips noisily as they eat....

I seriously think Koreans are oblivious to the noise...

[sayangamber]

[blah]

While smacking your lips is rude in most Western countries, this is not the case in Asia. I have lived in Taiwan, the Philippines, and now in Korea, and they all do it. In the Philippines they go so far as to let out giant burps at the table. This is considered a compliment to the host.

One time, in the Philippines, I let out a small sigh after a big meal -- the kind you let out when you are stuffed after a Christmas dinner. Well, everyone was absolutely mortified at my lack of etiquette. "So let me see if I understand," I said to my Filipina wife after we left, "It's rude to let out a sigh after a meal, but it's considered polite to burp loudly at the table while others are still eating".

"of course," was her reply. "To sigh is to disrespect the meal. To burp is to appreciate it". Lucky for me my wife doesn't do it. Perhaps there is something to be said about cultural assimilation.

[little mixed girl]

.....

[schwa]

When I first got here I felt instantly comfortable with Korea's relaxed approach to public manners. Sense I get is if it causes no harm, go for it. Seems like there are so many more finicky taboos in Canada.

Nailclipping is neither unsanitary or immodest -- I cant imagine anyone really cares. (Though my venue of choice is the public bath after a hot soak -- the equipment is always provided.)

Eating noises? Why should that be bothersome? I can slurp & smack with the best of them now -- its part of the sensual appreciation of the meal. Nose-blowing at the table is not on here, but hey, thats a reasonable prohibition.

Who hangs up the phone first? Thats a funny question, one I've honestly never given a second thought to. Whover has the last thing to say I'd suppose. Korean phone manner is abrupt though -- saying some kind of goodbye is culturally ingrained in me. Maybe westerners are more sensitive to the idea they've been 'hung up on.'

Taxis -- here & in Canada, I favor the front seat unless I'm burdened with packages. Egalitarian at heart? I dont like the feeling of being chauffeured. Though I've noticed Koreans even in private cars dont care where the passenger sits.

So back to my first point, I like the idea of not fretting if its not important.

[Gord]

[mack the knife]

Ripping gasssss is also fully acceptable here. At home. In public. Wherever. I love this fact, and take FULL ADVANTAGE of the no-penalty-for-ripping-ass loophole in the law.

[coolsage]

Personal grooming should be done at home; that's what home is for. As for the taxis, I always sit in the back. No need to buckle up, and the driver can't pluck at the hair on your arms and call you 'monkey'. And, don't go native and start spitting in ashtrays, a particularly repugnant habit in these parts.

[gajackson1]

my weigh in:

fingernails: home or pref in/after sauna/public bath. Easier to deal with there - no richochets!!! mml

telephoning: hmmm. Most Koreans seem to favor the 'who's paying for the call?' option; I have an unlimited calls plan, so i talk as long as there is stuff that needs to be said.

restaurant: your conversation is kept private, and you are not subjecting the server to your private conversations, saving face for both sides. Based on OLD traditions/customs here.

taxi: sitting in the front makes hap-seung easier for the driver, which may score you some points. For women, I'd agree that sitting in the back is safer. In a black cab, they expect you to sit in the back (I've never seen/known a black cab to do hap-seung). if you have packages, put them in the back - many drivers don't like to pop the trunk, or have the big LPG canisters there - and sit either in front or back

slightly noisy eating - NOT thunderous! - is considered polite/nice, especially if the owners/hosts are in sight/sound range - signs of a good meal. Soup slurping is especially encouraged. Small burps are ok, but avoid the big extended belches. IMHO, the gas thing is ALWAYS a no-no, and Koreans will wipe a runny nose, but not blow it at the table.

In a split meal, conversation is ok during the first part, but when it comes down time for the actual meal, it is a heads-down race from everything I have experienced.

Koreans will generally not ask for permission to smoke after dinner, even when others are still eating. But many will either take it outside, or try to at least hide the ashtray. Smokers spitting in ashtrays anywhere is just plain nasty!!! And yes, someone drastically needs to reform Korea's Spitting Code of Conduct. I grew up in the deep South, and all the people I know would be horrified.

Any others, Eamo, just fire away . . .

[Sliver]

I walk. I walk a lot.

Yesterday a Korean was doing his fingernails was in the midle of the sidewalk.

I said to him not waste good collagen so we scoured the the speckled concrete for his nicotine stained discarded organics.

I walk a lot, tooooooo much I guess