Korean Job Discussion Forums

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

If they plan to stay in the states, no probs. If they plan on moving to Korea, she will be a slave to her mother in law. Loads of Korean women here avoid marrying a first born male. They actually like to spend their holidays not slaving away for their mother in law.

NightSky · Joined: 19 Apr 2005

Atavistic · Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:47 am Post subject:

It depends on the family. More traditional family, tons of work. Less traditional family or a man who's going to stand up to his family, less. Where do his parents live? How long has his family been in the States?

If the eldest son already has a younger married brother, he may very well be feeling quite a bit of pressure to be married. Marrying another Asian may be seen as less desirable than marrying a Korean but more desirable than marrying a non-Asian.

And what does the SON say?

I know this answer is less than helpful, but Korean families are not as homogenous as people think, especially trying to compare Koreans raised abroad to Koreans here.

peppermint · Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:50 am Post subject:

refer your friend to this:

http://www.eslcafe.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=4175,

The OP in that thread is an extreme case, but there's some good info from western women married to k-men about their family obligations, particularly financial ones

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

More important than cooking on holidays, the eldest son is expected to support his parents for their entire lives. That means he most likely knows he will someday have his mother and father move in with him.

Anyway, early in the relationship. Probably nothing important.

Paul_Zerzan · Joined: 26 Sep 2007

Eldest son? Sucks to be her.

ajgeddes · Joined: 28 Apr 2004 Location: Yongsan

bgreenster · Joined: 06 Feb 2007 Location: too far from the beach

As a side note- something I found interesting was that Koreans in my (adult) discussion group couldn't believe that I didn't send my parents an allowance of sorts to help support them. Keep in mind that I'm 23 and on my first job. I almost didn't know how to respond- I just tried to explain that things are different in the US and that my dad would laugh if my poor ass sent HIM any money.

In regards to the actual question, whenever I am asked if I would date a Korean man, I straight up say that I would only be with a youngest son. And I'm serious- I ask Korean men I meet about their birth order, and if I hear "oldest son" I just smile and give a fond "annyong."

Does your friend's boyfriend plan on staying in the US forever?? If so, it might not be too bad, as long as the parents have no plans/hopes of immigrating as well! I would mostly be concerned if she had to live near them.

Rae · Joined: 10 Oct 2007

You guys are awesome, thanks for the link and input!

Teufelswacht · Joined: 06 Sep 2004 Location: Land Of The Not Quite Right

After marriage, since he is a first son, the pressure will be on to have a baby quickly. If the decision is made to live in Korea, how would your friend (and her boyfriend) feel about raising a mixed-race child in Korea? Something to think about. If they haven't, your friend and her boyfriend should discuss issues involving future children now and not after the honeymoon.

Just my two cents.

whatever · Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Location: Korea: More fun than jail.

jesus h....

when will people stop starting threads about themselves with the 'my friend...blah blah blah' angle?

just admit that this is about you. nobody, aside from the most idle of busybodies consults internet msg boards for advice about their friend's relationship. Rolling Eyes

tsgarp · Joined: 01 Dec 2003

The last thing I would do for your friend is post this question on a site where most of the respondents are going to be racist white males with an axe to grind.

Atavistic · Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:26 pm Post subject: