Korean Job Discussion Forums

Sliver · Joined: 04 May 2003 Location: The third dimension

I work at a private school

Last weekend the vice principal who is about 50 had the unfortuate business of his father passing away after a long illness.

Today the school principal told me it was "beautiful Korean custom" to, at this time, give the envelope containing 30,000 to 50,000 won to the vice principle. And, despite being told of this custom today I should also appologise for the envelope being late.

Would you pay the money or not?

Tiberious aka Sparkles · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: I'm one cool cat!

During my first contract, the father of one of our school's bus drivers died, and all of us were asked to chip in 10,000. I paid, of course; it's pretty hard to refuse something like that. But don't apologize for it being late.

Sparkles*_*

weatherman · Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Location: Korea

What are you waiting for? I can't beleive you didn't give something. You want your job right? It isn't competency for which most people keep there job in Korea. It is the boot licking.

kimcheeking · Guest

Why do you need to ask us?

Ilsanman · Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Location: Bucheon, Korea

Talk about putting you in a difficult position.

Maybe next week your relative can conveniently 'die', see how much they still like their custom.

helly · Joined: 01 Apr 2003 Location: WORLDWIDE

Pay.

Between 30,000 and 50,000 should be 30,000 OR 50,000 as 40,000 is just bad luck (4).

Apologize for being late. It is not an admission of your mistake. Its just the way it is.

Some "the Korean way" stuff bugs the crap out of me and I'll argue it all day long (ask my wife.) Some "the Korean way" stuff you just gotta do. That's my thought on it.

Sliver · Joined: 04 May 2003 Location: The third dimension

Kimcheeking wrote

weened · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 9:58 pm Post subject:

i found myself in the exact same position. I paid. No problem. Maybe it was a when in rome thing. But then when my parnter's G-ma died i asked others if i should and those that i asked said no. Go figure. i was much more interested, personally, in giving to my parnter who saved my life on a daily basis than my owner/president who i seldom saw.

Austin · Joined: 23 May 2003 Location: In the kitchen

Weened,

It would be a bit difficult for you to give to your partner, if you did not have a means to "make" something worth giving.

How people respond to these personal choices is very telling. I only wish there were a way to make the correlation between those that have enjoyed Korea and followed the customs, manners, etc. with those that have had horrific experiences and refused to follow the customs, manners, etc.

Not to hijack your thread Sliver, but I am curious how many have been invited to weddings to cough up the 100,000?

Though I have been invited to a few, I only went to that first one, as I did not know the other couples well enough to justify the expense.

dogbert · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210

katydid · Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...

I am a big hater of boot-licking too, but if it's the custom to give a bereaved family money as a gift during a funeral, then by all means do it. 20,000 or 30,000 really isn't much to part with. Don't be political either, if you're not a big fan of your boss...have a heart and contribute something.

desultude · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 11:34 pm Post subject:

I went to a wedding of a colleague and did give an envelope with 50,000. The funny thing to me was the guy who collected the envelopes and duly marked my name and amount in a book. I expected him to give me a receipt next, but he didn't. But I am sure that it was needed to pay for the wedding and everything.

Chipping in for a funeral is so nice. I wish we had that in the States. When my father dies, I'll probably have to dig deep for his funeral. The social network that shares the (financial) pain is great.

Its like the clubs in the States where the Korean members pay in monthly and put each other into business. Our pick yourself up by your bootstraps (unless you are rich) mentality in the States is not really so great.

helly · Joined: 01 Apr 2003 Location: WORLDWIDE

Guess I missed the original question. Yes, I would pay.

I also pay at weddings but not 100,000. Typically 30,000 or 50,000 depending.

When I got married, many of my co-workers did the same for me. I had 2 jobs at the time and one boss gave 500,000 and another gave 1,000,000.

Thankfully, no deaths yet.

Sliver · Joined: 04 May 2003 Location: The third dimension

This is a true story and somewhat surprised me.

When asked I told my wife about it, who by the way is Korean, and yes we had the bongtoo or envelope ready within 10 minutes, she rang her mother to determine the amount of money that the vice principal gave us at our wedding. Needless to say, and this is to Austin in some way, it wasn't 100,000 won but 50,000 won. So we gave him back his 50,000. That however is not the strange thing.

As chance would have it tonight is my mother in law's birthday so we will meet in about two hours (I had better get ready). At our wedding they collected the envelopes and recorded the names as Koreans do. Of course I had my western friends come along as well. Well, not only were the names recorded but the envelopes have been kept and carefully stored.

How do I know? Well tonight, so I have been told, because one of my friends wrote his or her name in cursive they can't read it. Hence, 6 months after our wedding I shall have to decifer the writing, on the envelope, to determine who the mystery guest was.

Bizzare? No. Cultural? Well in this case definately.

William Beckerson · Guest

Sure. I'd pay it. Why not?