Korean Job Discussion Forums

[IncognitoHFX]

I came to a major realization this year, teaching in Korea. I've realized that I really hate when people say "just be yourself, who cares what other people may think!"

This has always bothered me, and even moreso since I've moved to an Asian country where this sentiment is a bit less relevant than it would be in the individualistic West. Let's think about that for a moment: "be yourself", "regardless of what anyone else thinks". I interpret this as an excuse for acting in your most natural manner even in situations where your natural behaviour (by that I mean things that you do and say without thinking, things that come naturally) is unacceptable and bothers other people.

I've heard this saying recently, and I've also heard it quite a bit on the forums. Not to mention numerous other examples: it is an overused statement to say the least.

Anyway, my problem with people saying this is that it is usually meant as an excuse for their actions and a way to purge blame one should have towards oneself. You do something incredibly stupid, and justify it with this handy little mantra about how other people don't matter, and how you should only be looking out for your own happiness. Being happy individually is selfish and pointless, making your world happy is oh-so-much better.

When you say this... you're justifying yourself to yourself, which (in my opinion) is anti-introspective and an active way of denying self-improvement. People reflect, realize their flaws, think of others (and themselves) and grow accordingly. People who wander around refusing to alter their behaviour to adjust to reality and others are not growing. Personally, and as I hate to generalize, I hear this sentiment spoken a lot from people who are old enough to know not to act like children but continue to persist in such behaviours anyway.

Some people can be themselves without causing any annoyance or problems in others, but others can not be themselves without being a major pain in the ass. Lest we forget, we share this world with millions of other people and this fact will become more prominent in the future than it is now.

I know this is a bit off topic, but I want to get the ball rolling and see what you all think about it. Anyone else feel the same way?

[Julius]

Yes. An absolutely meaningless sentence. And highly irritating.

[yingwenlaoshi]

People don't change.

[rusty1983]

I agree. I for one am glad people arent allowed to act entirely on their impulses as that would obviously lead to anarchy, mass-rapings and disorder with no one bothered to clean it all up.

I think at University people get a bit giddy with their new-found freedom, but most people give up and realise that they are bound to become at least a little bit like their parents. Then they get tired and want to buy a nice couch to mong out in after work. Put on a few pounds, have some kids and hey presto you're your father.

'Just be yourself' is good advice for insecure kids or people nervous before a date, but people using it beyond that, as an excuse for themselves, are definitely misfits.

[RACETRAITOR]

[Easter Clark]

Which "Self" are you referring to? We all wear so many masks, depending on the situation. Should I be the "self" I am when I'm teaching or the "self" I am when I'm out at a hof with coworkers?

I think the phrase "be yourself" is meant to remind us to be true to ourselves while taking the situation into account.

[Temporary]

[peppermint]

"just be yourself" is usually good advice, assuming of course, that the addressee is a decent individual who wasn't in fact, raised by wolves. The problem is, that's not really a safe assumption around here.

[haute 4 teacher]

"'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you could give people"

Mark Twain

[Privateer]

"Be someone else". Much better idea.

[waynehead]

A lot of these common phrase-sentiments break down if you examine them too closely and deconstruct them at all. Take another one: "anything is possible." That one's always bugged me b/c, well, actually, not everything is possible.

I've learned it's best not to dwell on such minutiae. Beer taught me that.

[crusher_of_heads]

[NilesQ]

It is a tired cliche for a good sentiment. To me it means don't let other people's opinions and wants dictate how you live your life. Don't explain, don't complain. If you have to tell people that you are just "being yourself" then you are explaining.

[ED209]

Always be an elf

[mateomiguel]

How about "be true to yourself." What does that even mean?