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When People Marry A Local And Then Return Home
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Omkara



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:39 pm    Post subject: When People Marry A Local And Then Return Home Reply with quote

I'm just curious. How do the Korean spouses adjust to life in the West? How have you overcome the economic hurdles, etc.? What were some of the shocks, surprises. . .?

When we date in this culture, these questions are swimming just beneath the surface.
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ED209



Joined: 17 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"So long and thanks for the green card"

Sorry, just filling my useless comment quota.
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Omkara



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, that can be a real issue! Though, I've felt that to be less of an issue in this culture than in others. . .
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yawarakaijin



Joined: 08 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a Canadian friend who married a girl from Cuba and set up a very nice home in Vancouver of all places. After 1 year in Canada she was begging him to take her back to Cuba! LOL

Canada was boring! LOL
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Kuros



Joined: 27 Apr 2004

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm dating a Chinese who has many 1st generation Chinese-American friends and Chinese friends living in America. They, too, find it boring in America. IMO, the problem is that Chinese have serious trouble adjusting to a suburban, car-oriented culture. Although one of these friends is an alcoholic, and simply hates that she has to drive to bars (and consequently cannot get stinking drunk).

I think you can help your Asian spouses by living in an urban area of the United States. Many of them do want to order the American (or Canadian) dream, but hold the french fries and the suburbia.
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Omkara



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, that's what I hear, that Koreans find North America very boring. It lacks stimulation.

I can understand that. We tend to socialize in homes, and less downtown. So, when they go downtown, there ain't much going on. Some people here, a few over there. . . no flashing lights. . .quiet. . .
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe women find NA boring. The Korean men I know who've been there like the work hours a hell of a lot better.
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poet13



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife doesn't want to live in Canada or the US.
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spliff



Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: Khon Kaen, Thailand

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

poet13 wrote:
My wife doesn't want to live in Canada or the US.


Why don't you try settling in the Philippines? I heard it's visa friendly and cheap but the people can be a big pain in the arse.
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poet13



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We already built our home there. We will retire there. I'm thinking maybe 5 more years.
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Cheonmunka



Joined: 04 Jun 2004

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 1:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds nice. What does it mean people are a pain in the arse? Will they knife me?
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ed4444



Joined: 12 Oct 2004

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first year abroad (western europe) for my wife was very hard because of the following:

    Missing her family.
    Finding a good job that she actually likes
    Adapting to slower pace


But once you get over that hill together it gets better when she starts to see the benefits.

    Escape from the stifling social pressure of Korean society
    More opportunities for women, higher pay with less working hours
    Larger living spaces and more recreational options
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Omkara



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Location: USA

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't the better opportunities for women depend on their English fluency, etc?
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bassexpander



Joined: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Someplace you'd rather be.

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I tell my students this every time I see their starry-eyed stares as they announce, "I'm going to study in the USA!"

It's freakin' boring.... be prepared to bum car rides off of everyone until you get your own drivers' license and a vehicle.
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PRagic



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poet: Where in the Philippines did you build. DETAILS, please!

And to keep the thread on track, I agree with previous posters. In general, most Koreans seem to be happier in urban settings; the bigger the city, the better. NYC, for example, was 'nice, but kind of mellow' to my wife who grew up in Seoul and went to university in Tokyo!

But it depends on the person. Just make sure you're on the same sheet of music before you move. Maybe take an extended vacation to where you may be moving back to to let her get her feet wet a bit. We went back to WNY when I did my last degree, and my wife was crawling out of her skin she was so bored. We know that we won't be moving there now.

People also change as they get older. We're in our early 40s now, and dig being in the city. In the future, though, we're thinking beach vicinity or college town.
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