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mandoo
Joined: 25 Mar 2008
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 Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:27 am Post subject: How do you handle name-calling? |
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I was walking across the street today with my young son. 2 girls behind me kept saying, "w h o r e" under their breath. At first I thought I misheard them, because who calls women with babies "w h o r e"? They said it a few more times, and I just ignored it. However, the more I think about t, the madder I get. This always happens to me: I ignore stuff like that, and then I stew about it afterward. I don't want to stew about it- I'd really like to let it go, but I can't, so now I'm on dave's. 
How would you have handled it? Did I make the best choice by ignoring it? I wonder what a Korean woman would've done, but then again, I'm not Korean. |
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Bibbitybop
Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:32 am Post subject: |
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| There is no excuse for that. "Michin Nyun" is a good expression for those girls in Korean, try that next time. |
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mandoo
Joined: 25 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:39 am Post subject: |
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| I wish I were that quick with a response. I always think about what I should've said/done after the fact. Usually I'm so shocked I just do nothing. Maybe I walk around with my head in the clouds too much, so I'm a little too slow on the uptake. I'm also afraid that if I say something like "michin nyun", the other people around will give me dirty looks. |
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OnTheOtherSide
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:40 am Post subject: |
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| You all are too nice. You just gotta stop dead in your tracks and stare at them like you're insane and ready to fight. Bring that wild west vibe to Korea. Where I come from, if you talk sh!t like that, it's gonna go down. |
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visitorq
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:45 am Post subject: |
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| OnTheOtherSide wrote: |
| You all are too nice. You just gotta stop dead in your tracks and stare at them like you're insane and ready to fight. Bring that wild west vibe to Korea. Where I come from, if you talk sh!t like that, it's gonna go down. |
Exactly. Turn right round and call them out in a calm but firm manner. They'll undoubtedly back down and lose face. You'll win. |
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cangel
Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: Jeonju, S. Korea
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| A derogatory statement is only as strong as the respect I have for the person who says it. |
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Eedoryeong
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Location: Jeju
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:01 am Post subject: |
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| Bibbitybop wrote: |
| There is no excuse for that. "Michin Nyun" is a good expression for those girls in Korean, try that next time. |
michin nyaw is better. Really digging down there.
I've used
씨발 촌놈! (or here, 촌녀 or 시골녀) 농장에 도라 가라!
(expletive) hillbilly! Go back to the (expletive) farm!
Another conversation ender is
닥 차, 씨발 일본 세끼야!
Shut up, (expletive) Japanese bastard!
There used to be a site teaching swear retorts like 'your grandmother swam out earnestly to meet the Japanese battleships' but I've lost the link.
Good to have on standby. By no means universally applicable but sometimes there's just that one situation that calls for a good shutdown that says, 'yes I understand you and stop it' But as a mom with a child you may not want to go there.
But you must admit, it's fun to read! |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:07 am Post subject: |
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Im not sure swearing back at them in front of her kids is a great idea..
Id just turn round and ask them what they said...confront them politely and they will be put in their place and embarrassed....swear at them and you will just make them feel justified and set a horrible example for your children. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:15 am Post subject: Re: How do you handle name-calling? |
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| mandoo wrote: |
| I was walking across the street today with my young son. 2 girls behind me kept saying, "w h o r e" under their breath. |
Its always the middle schoolers who have picked up a naughty word off the TV or wherever and decide to show their friends how brave they are by trying it out on the first foreigner they see.
I had to call 2 brats out on their comments in a single walk home the other day. i walk home past a middle school. And yes both time spotty teenybopper backed down.
You can prevent comments from even being said in the first place by giving the right vibe. ie u have to expect comments and be primed to react whenever you are on the street. That way, they sense it and you never have problems.
When I was new here I had that hapless smiley newbie vibe. Boy did I ever have to lose that quick. |
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dtown
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:15 am Post subject: |
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| Do what makes you feel better, but personally I would not respond by calling them equally obnoxious names. That makes you no better than the young children doing the name calling. They obviously have some sort of prejudice against you and if you freak out on them it will, in their minds, confirm the negative feelings they have for you. Don't give them a real reason to hate you. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:41 am Post subject: |
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Name-calling I don't find so much of a problem as staring.
name-calling is blatant and quickly justifies an angry response. U can let rip.
Staring is a bit more equivocal, and massively more frequent to have to deal with. Its hard-going to get riled up 100 X a day. |
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seirogan
Joined: 19 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:50 am Post subject: |
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at the risk of sounding like a pollyanna....live you life for yourself and not for them....don't give a flip if someone says such a stupid thing...it gives them all the power...be sure they are not giving it a second thought now...so don't you let it ruin a second of your life
the fact that someone does something like that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them....if it had not been you walking in front of them they would have said it to another person
sorry...i do sound pollyanna...but your life is to important to waste a breath or a thought on them
cheers |
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skdragon
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:59 am Post subject: |
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| Rey wrote: |
| I'd have called them whores back, then smiled at them. |
Call them out on their stupid crap. If they say it in English talk to them in Enlgish. They wmore than likely won't be able to answer you back, then you can just lose it on them ... If they say it in Korean, say something abck to them in Korean. I would have gone with the suljob over the michin though, if it was me. |
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cisco kid
Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Location: Outlaws had us pinned down at the fort
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| Then again, what kind of an example would she be setting for her young child if she reacted with anger? |
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Fresh Prince
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: The glorious nation of Korea
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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| How would you have handled it? Did I make the best choice by ignoring it? I wonder what a Korean woman would've done, but then again, I'm not Korean. |
One time I was called, "pig," by a rebellious student looking to evoke an anger response. I put my hands over my face like a little kid would do and pretended to cry...The entire class was dumbfounded and instantly silent at thought of a large male teacher crying. As if in unison they all joined in on chastising the rebellious student who had that deer in the headlights look. When I removed my hands and showed that I was in fact not really crying, the entire class was relieved and erupted in laughter. I was never called "pig" again. |
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