Site Search:
 
Speak Korean Now!
Teach English Abroad and Get Paid to see the World!
Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Korean Woman + No Father = Dating Waygook?
Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
endo



Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:34 pm    Post subject: Korean Woman + No Father = Dating Waygook? Reply with quote

One interesting thing I've noticed with the Korean women I've dated is that many of them either have little or no relations with their father, or that their father is deceased.

For several of my friends who've dated and married Korean women, they've experienced the same thing.



I don't know if this case is just limited to my own experiences, but I feel that there's a good chance that this happens with other guys too.




So are Korean women who have little or no relations with their father, more likely to date/marry foreign men? And if so what is the reason for this?

In addition, for the foreign females who date/marry Korean men, is there some similar example in regardes to the presence or absense of their parents?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Return Jones



Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Location: I will see you in far-off places

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

billybrobby wrote:
Maybe you just date vulnerable women with low self esteem.


Been there, loved that! Razz
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
jkelly80



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Location: you boys like mexico?

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://the-op.com/object/Girls%2BWith%2BLow%2BSelf-Esteem
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
endo



Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

billybrobby wrote:
Maybe you just date vulnerable women with low self esteem.


Isn't that a general explanation for all women? Laughing



Seriously though, I think when Korean daddy is out of the equasion (a) potential Korean mother/father-in-law will see Korean girl as unfit for their son, and (b) no Korean father to put a stop to his daughter dating a foreign man.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
pkang0202



Joined: 09 Mar 2007

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Children with Single parents is sort of outcast. For instance, whenever Korean parents meet their son/daughter's boyfriend/girlfriend, the first question asked is "What do your parents do?"

A lot of Korean parents would reject a marriage between their son/daughter with someone who doesn't have both of their parents.

Even if that isn't that case, the perception is definitely there. Koreans know that Westerners don't place so much emphasis on family background. A Korean man/woman knows that when they date a westerner, they don't have to be self conscious about having 1 parent.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
red_devil



Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

billybrobby wrote:
Maybe you just date vulnerable women with low self esteem.


ROFL. Owned.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Guri Guy



Joined: 07 Sep 2003
Location: Bamboo Island

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have three Canadian/American friends that married South Korean women who had no father.
I always wondered the same thing too and it seems I have drawn the same conclusions.
I figured it was her being less desirable for marriage due to her only having one parent.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Countrygirl



Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Location: in the classroom

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, no father-in-law here. I also know other females who have married Korean who don't have a father-in-law.

I think of it like this...no father means more ability to choose who you really want for your partner. But in reality there is less choice in partners because there is less education, less money and less prestige on your side. Korean girls really do use a checklist when they date/marry and love isn't at the top of this list.

Probably Korean girls who have less than desirable backgrounds wouldn't even try to marry into a well-established family. Her whole marriage she would be made to feel not good enough, either by her in-laws or just by her own judgement. That's assuming she dates someone who is strong enough to stand up to his parents. It makes dating/marrying an waegukin seem easy by comparison.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
pkang0202



Joined: 09 Mar 2007

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Countrygirl wrote:
Korean girls really do use a checklist when they date/marry and love isn't at the top of this list.


Aye, that is spot on. Love is probably number 6 on the list, after money, willingness to share that money, stability, foreign residence, and sexual performance. I know a couple Korean girls who stopped dating a foreigner when they asked, "How long do you plan to stay in Korea" and they said, "For a long time."

Countrygirl wrote:
Probably Korean girls who have less than desirable backgrounds wouldn't even try to marry into a well-established family. Her whole marriage she would be made to feel not good enough, either by her in-laws or just by her own judgement. That's assuming she dates someone who is strong enough to stand up to his parents. It makes dating/marrying an waegukin seem easy by comparison.


Another thing is that Korean girls like the way Westerners treat them. In a Korean relationship, the woman will always be the subservient one. Expected to cook/clean and take care of the children. Also, the woman would be expected to the husband's mother's servant.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
cdninkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pkang0202 wrote:
Another thing is that Korean girls like the way Westerners treat them. In a Korean relationship, the woman will always be the subservient one. Expected to cook/clean and take care of the children. Also, the woman would be expected to the husband's mother's servant.


One of my Australian friends is married to a Korean woman. On the subject of Korean men, she said: "Korean men treat their girlfriends really well; like princesses. Then they get married and it changes." (I'm paraphrasing).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
endo



Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cdninkorea wrote:
pkang0202 wrote:
Another thing is that Korean girls like the way Westerners treat them. In a Korean relationship, the woman will always be the subservient one. Expected to cook/clean and take care of the children. Also, the woman would be expected to the husband's mother's servant.


One of my Australian friends is married to a Korean woman. On the subject of Korean men, she said: "Korean men treat their girlfriends really well; like princesses. Then they get married and it changes." (I'm paraphrasing).



Is that really only a Korean thing?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Countrygirl



Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Location: in the classroom

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

endo wrote:
cdninkorea wrote:
pkang0202 wrote:
Another thing is that Korean girls like the way Westerners treat them. In a Korean relationship, the woman will always be the subservient one. Expected to cook/clean and take care of the children. Also, the woman would be expected to the husband's mother's servant.


One of my Australian friends is married to a Korean woman. On the subject of Korean men, she said: "Korean men treat their girlfriends really well; like princesses. Then they get married and it changes." (I'm paraphrasing).



Is that really only a Korean thing?


When my husband treats me like a Korean wife (ie. you should cook more, cook better, do more etc Evil or Very Mad ) I start to act like a Korean wife (ie. you should make more money, you should work harder, you should get a better job etc Twisted Evil ).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
bassexpander



Joined: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Someplace you'd rather be.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Korean women like the idea of marrying a foreigner and escaping this society. This becomes infinitely easier after a controlling father is out of the picture, for a number of reasons.

For one, the father will expect that the husband provide a house. A foreigner isn't going to have family backing here to dump 300,000,000 into a house.

Two, there is the plain old racism factor that needs no discussion. Many Korean guys don't like foreigner dating "their" women. A great many fathers like it even less.

Three, a foreigner will likely take the daughter back home to their own country. There goes any chance of getting much money from them when mommy/daddy are old (and believe me -- they will expect it). Of course, they won't get to see their daughter, either.

There are other reasons.... communication, etc.

I suggest you stop with the "they only date waygooks because they are vulnerable" theme, and suggest you start considering the possibility that foreigners are the forbidden fruit that becomes a lot easier to marry once a controlling parent is gone. Also consider the plain fact that a whole lot of Korean women don't like the restrictions placed on them by their own culture. Not many western males return home from the room salons and galbi restaurants at 2am stinking of soju and cheap perfume, claiming they were "working."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
spliff



Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: Khon Kaen, Thailand

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't date let alone marry a girl whose father didn't approve of me. I once dated a girl in the 90's whose father would always take me out alone and we'd get hammered together. He said I was good cause I could out drink him. He said that if I had sex w/ his daughter I'd have to marry her. He would get drunk and say things like "I know you sex two-gay my daughter...when you marry her"? She was an alright girl, and we had sex many times, but hell, I was already married.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Faunaki



Joined: 15 Jun 2007

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's a thread about this exact topic from last year but I can't find it.

Anyway I'm married to a K guy and he has no father so yah I agree with what the OP is saying.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
Page 1 of 6

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International