Korean Job Discussion Forums

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

Recently a new Korean teacher joined our school so he's been asking all the normal get-to-know-you questions. Yesterday was my turn. He asked me about how I feel about living here alone. "Don't you miss your family?"

I've been asked this about a million times and have tried different responses and none of them sound very good.

I've tried: "No, I don't miss them very much except on birthdays and holidays. But that makes me sound cold and unfeeling." (I don't think that is true, but if it is, I don't want to give that impression to someone I just met.)

I've tried: "No, I don't miss them all that much because I'm an adult. I don't need mommy around all the time." But that sounds snotty and condescending.

I've tried: "No, 'alone' doesn't necessarily mean 'lonely'. I have sometimes felt lonely when I was with other people." It's true, but doesn't really answer the question.

I've tried: "Our cultures are different. We are raised from birth with the idea of moving away from home when we are around 18. It doesn't mean our moms don't love us and that we don't love them." But again, I think that sounds cold and uncaring.

I've tried: "Yes, I miss them a lot. I call and write home as often as possible." It's a lie and I don't like to make a habit of telling lies just to sound acceptable.

Do any of you have a good response to: Don't you miss your family?

Mr. Pink · Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China

"Sure I miss my family, but it isn't like I would see them everyday if I was back home anyways, and with cheap longdistance and email, whats the problem?"

That is how I answer when people ask me that. Think about it, if you don't live in the same city as your parents (I didn't) then how often do you see them? Like birthdays or xmas or thanksgiving if that...so what is the difference if you live over here and go home once a year, or live over there and go home once a year? (Family wise I mean Razz

)

Swiss James · Joined: 26 Nov 2003 Location: Shanghai

On my first (three week long) business trip here, someone asked me
"Do you miss your mommy?"

I thought he was having a go at me age, being 22 at the time, but maybe not now I've read that!

katydid · Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...

It makes me ill when I hear adults talk about their mommy and daddy.

kangnam mafioso · Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno

just say:
"sure i miss them, but we talk a lot on the phone and through email and i will see them when i go home for the christmas holidays."

Homer · Guest

Here you go dude:

"heck no! They are dead and buried in my backyard"

matko · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: in a world of hurt!

I knew it!!!!

Homer is a serial killer!!!!!!!!!!

Wink

Swiss James · Joined: 26 Nov 2003 Location: Shanghai

Yeah I told the guy that I miss them, especially because I was raised by wolves so can't talk to them on the phone.

Crois · Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2003 6:40 am Post subject:

Just say they are in Prison. They dont get the Sarcaism.

HardyandTiny · Joined: 03 Jun 2003

The Korean teacher doesn't care about your response. You're supposed to be impressed by their question. They are amazing and so in touch with their emotions. All they ever think about is family and love.

Homer · Guest

Damn Matko Exclamation

You sniffed me out man...oh well..cover is blown now... Laughing

seoulmon · Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Location: Seoul

GAWD!

I don't miss my family. When I go back to America it's the same old disfunctionalitites. Plus, our house is a mess. It's really big but we live like white trash (trailor park trash). My dad was from the depression era and he has to save ever last left over. I find bits of moldy chicken in little tupperware containers every time I go home!

You know, another thing struck me when I was back in the US. It was lunch hour, weekday, downtown and I was crossing the middle of the street without looking. No one was there. It was rush hour yet it was a ghoast town. I love all the human energy of Seoul!

...and ANOTHER THING! Everybody in America is scared to death. Sorry, none of you foreigners understands me. I know. I've been to Eng. and Can. and you just don't have the level of fear we have in America. In America, everyone is really to pop a cap in your ass. SERIOUSLY!

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

where is your hometown seoulmon? back in the US of A? Sounds like it could describe any middle of America city.. take your pick.. cleveland, milwaukee, memphis, etc. Too many wasteland cities. All the cities in Michigan are just wastelands (Detroit, Grand Rapids, Flint, etc.).. sheesh..

Some cities are much more alive though.. Seattle, San Deigo, San Francisco, New Orleans, Portland Oregon, New York City, Boston, Denver. Outside of that small handful of cities, I doubt if there is anywhere else I'd want to live - and there a whole ton of cities all across the US of A.

kylehawkins2000 · Joined: 08 Apr 2003

That question comes up alot actually. I usually just tell the truth and try not to care too much if I sound cold. I leave that impression with most people the first time I meet them anyway. I just give them time to figure it what I'm really like. After a month or two it's always the same comment "When I first met you I thought you were so cold, but now I know you're not really like that".....blah blah blah....whatever.....

Strangers in Korea have often seemed like some of the coldest people in the world to me. I don't see why I should put up some kind of smilely mask everytime I run into a new person. Granted, the people I've gotten to know have been very kind and generous. It's just all the rudeness and racism/prejiduce I'm subjected to on a daily basis ticks me off sometimes.

Does being a foreigner and a stranger mean you can be rude to me? It certainly seems that way here.

Yesterday a guy who was a few years younger than me lost his balance on the subway and landed his heel squarely on my toes. It hurt like a b**ch, I let out a cry of pain and I looked up at him. He just stared at me.....didn't say a word. Not "sorry", not "Mianhamnida", nothing. Is it so difficult to say sorry when you do something like that? I hear Koreans saying it to each other all the time....\

Hmmm....I guess I got a little off track here. Anyways, my point is that why not just tell the truth and just let them get to know you over time. First impressions aren't that important unless you're in an interview or trying to get laid in my opinion. LOL

mithridates · Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 4:31 am Post subject:

Seoulmon is from Washington and Texas, though I don't remember which city.
When people ask me whether I miss my parents I say that I miss my cats more because I can't communicate with them and they will likely die off quicker. Then I go into a tirade about my cats, whereupon the Korean will likely tell me that they don't like cats because of their scary eyes. That's when I bust out my best cat stories from home and tell them that cats are really cute when they are being raised by people as opposed to the ones here that are cast out in the street. Then I make parallels to countries that only see each others bad points and how that makes both of them uglier in the end, like the relationship here between humans and cats. By then we are talking about government and the conversation has completely changed.