Korean Job Discussion Forums

[pkang0202]

My relatives asked me to tutor their kids.

I said no. I told them that I'd speak to them in English and try to have a conversation, but I'm not giving them any lessons.

[Juregen]

Same Same

I flat out said NO.

Tell them that if you do it for one, you have to do it for everyone, and if you do it for everyone, you cannot make a living.

Point out that that isn't fair for anyone and they should stop asking.
Your wife/girlfriend should cut short those demands.

[640x480]

I hope they respect your wishes, but it wouldn't hurt to do like a giant 1 hour session when there is some kind of big holiday family gathering.

It's Korea...it might be called "Extended" but people see it as just family. There are good parts about that as well...

I like the busy and I'm dead tired thing.

[crusher_of_heads]

[Hanson]

[EzeWong]

Personally,

I would do it, not to sound like a pompous "I'd take the high road" kind of guy. But, they are family... They would definately help you out if they could.

English here is a ticket here to a good college, good education, and sucessful career. They want to do what's best for thier children.

They aren't trying to milk you. And if you see it that way, you've already brought resentment upon yourself. Family in Korea, or any country is a support system.

If you had a rich uncle, and you were in financial troubles, wouldn't you ask him for support? Same thing, except we're talking about education.

I'd do it, but much like everyone else I value my free time. But that's what mature people do, they sacrifice free time for others. Doesn't mean you have to dedicate your life to it. Do it once or twice a month, no charge, and do it on your terms. They will come by with fruit baskets quite often I'm sure

[Hanson]

Thanks for the replies, guys.

Actually, the issue of money never came up - but it doesn't matter either way since I'm going to try my best not to commit.

I kinda liked the idea of having the kids over once in a while to just "use English", but then I got to thinking - I'm pretty sure they're not interested in the kids actually speaking English, but in passing their tests. Plus, I'd be weary of these practice sessions becoming a big drain on my time.

I loathed the idea (sorry...) of prepping a "giant 1 hour session" for holidays - that would essentially force me to prep a class for holidays!!! No way, no how.

I guess the best way to go, from what I gathered here and in conversations with friends and my wife, is to push the "busy" angle, and really hint at how busy I am at gatherings to further dissuade any requests.

As for letting my wife handle it, it puts her in an awkward situation, especially considering Korean family dynamics. I'd rather be perceived as the bad guy, if one of us has to be the bad guy...

As a side note, I discussed how inappropriate their request is with my wife, and how westerners (most clued-in ones, anyway) wouldn't dream of imposing on someone like that, except perhaps as a one-off. As much as she sees my take on it, and agrees with it (to a certain degree ), the question remains how to diplomatically turn down their request without them having negative feelings about it, or towards us.

Thanks for the input...

[Countrygirl]

Korean-style approach - Tell them that you would love to or you will think about it and when you have the time, you will let them know. Yet, always be busy. Or schedule classes when the kids can't attend. Upside - you didn't say 'no' so how can they complain. Downside - they will keep asking and asking.

approach #2 - Say yes but charge a highly inflated amount with a small discount built in. Upside - If they really want you, you will teach but make lots of money. Downside - They will complain that you are charging a lot and talk about you in the family.

appoach #3 - Say it's illegal and don't teach. Have your wife complain to the others how unbending you are and that you always follow the rules because you are Australian. Educate them on the fine and jail time. Make them feel guilty for asking too much of you. Upside - You will have a good reputation for following the law (just don't do other privates). Downside - You will be considered a do-gooder.

The pushy Uncles will keep pushing for as long as they feel like it. Let them mumble and grumble. If they keep bugging you, stop going to family meetings for a while. The members in the family that like you, will feel bad for you and one day tell the pushy Uncle to stop it. But if you give in, they will push harder next time they want something from you. Some Koreans are really horrible to their family members and and will use all forms of guilt and intimidation to get what they want.

My MIL bugged our family a while for an allowance and used guilt and intimidation. One day my husband couldn't handle it and told her that we were not going to stay in Korea forever. I guess she reconsidered what she thought was most important and that was the last we heard of it. Things have been great since then.

[Typhoon]

Good post Countrygirl.

[lohengrin]

my friends back in South Africa asked me to help their kids prepare for maths and science exams (yes, I was a teacher back there...).
I printed them an invoice with hourly rates, and a copy of my weekly schedule, with specific times for them to mark when they wanted me to help their kids. I ended up helping a couple of kids pass exams they wouldn't otherwise have done, and made a nice bit of extra tax-free income. Everybody was happy!
I suggest you do something along those lines: you decide what time (if any) you have available for them, and how much it would cost them. Keep it all professional.

[R-Seoul]

Tell them to lick your privates.

[bobranger]

[LG Esq]

This is the most ridiculous thread I've ever seen in my life...

You're complaining about teaching English to kids for family members...

As a lawyer in America, I was asked to handle court cases for extended extended family members for free.

If all of you English teachers stop pretending like you're God's gift to Korea and offering such a painstaking service... maybe you'll realize that everyone gets asked for help...

My doctor friends get asked for free medical advice all the time. Hair dressers get asked for free haircuts... the list goes on and on and on...

Trust me... it really isn't about Koreans asking for some unbelieveably outrageous thing from English teachers... it happens everywhere and about everything...

[Kimchieluver]

I've done it for a few of my nieces and nephews. Mainly I just say we will ony do conversation and hang out. It's not so bad. You learn a lot about your in-laws that way too. Things your wife will never tell you or you are not supposed to know.

[endo]