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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: Interpreting the Job Offered board |
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Don't those ads look so warm and appealing? Couples welcome! Scenic location! Lovely students!
Don't be fooled. It's all a bunch of who-shot-john doublespeak. I'm going to interpret it for you:
1. "Couples welcome!"
Translation: These suckers are gonna save us an assload of $$$
2. "Lovely children!"
Translation: They only stick their fingers up your ass when they
like you
3. "Beautiful and scenic!"
Translation: In the middle of f*cking nowhere.
4. "Only 22 hours per week!"
Translation: Plus 8 hours of after-school classes for which
each kid pays and from which you will never see a dime
5. "Trust us!"
Translation: Until you get here. Then you're on your own.
6. "Best working condition!"
Translation: EXACTLY THE SAME as every other place.
7. "F-visa holders only!"
Translation: **See "Couples welcome"
8. "Qualified teachers needed!"
Translation: If he/she can breath without artificial respiration
9. "Great reliable school!"
Translation: We'll pay you on time....until we don't.
10. "Gyopos needed!"
Translation: **See "Couples/F visa"
11. "Fun position!"
Translation: Wanted: trained monkey assclown, preferably
white and female so we can beat her into submission
Last edited by mack the knife on Mon Oct 27, 2008 8:30 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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marlow
Joined: 06 Feb 2005
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Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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Good stuff. Wonder how long this will last? |
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cdninkorea

Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Humorous and true! You should put your skill to pick apart the GEPIK/EPIK contract... |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:44 am Post subject: |
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Send it on over. I've done time at GEPIK. |
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ED209
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:57 am Post subject: |
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"Just tell us what you're looking for"
Translation: Whatever you're looking for we'll tell you anything to convince you can't get a job there, or we'll introduce you to our associates Bait&Switch inc.
"Christian School"
Translation: Work Sundays for free.
"Looking for teacher who loves children"
Translation: We have no idea how to control these brats, please distract them long enough with your white monkey antics until we can empty their parents bank account.
"30 minutes from Seoul"
Translation: You do own a jet fighter, don't you? |
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misschel
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:22 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, definitely too good to all be true. What's the best way of weeding out truth from exagerated non-truths? |
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girlcabbie
Joined: 15 Oct 2008
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:00 am Post subject: |
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"Cozy housing"
Translation: Tiny housing. |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: |
"Christian School"
Translation: Work Sundays for free. |
Addendum:
"Christian School"
Translation: If we don't pay you on time and you b*tch about it you're greedy and going to hell |
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hagwonnewbie

Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Location: Asia
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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15 paid national holidays = 9 paid national holidays on the weekends + 6 paid national holidays that actually occur during the regular workweek in 2009 |
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some waygug-in
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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Ha ha.
Best Working Condition = Best for us, you on the the other hand....
Cozy Housing = Small appartment shared with co-workers.
Beautiful and scenic = Tons of Noraebangs, massajii shops and room Salons within a stone's throw. |
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The_Source

Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:22 am Post subject: |
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"Sick Days"
Error: No Translation Found |
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some waygug-in
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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"sick days" = you will be sick for days once you realize how badly you've been shafted. |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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"Looking for dynamic teacher!"
Translation: Willing to work after normal hours and at any location we send you
"Urgent!"
Translation: We're dicks, so the last guy pulled a runner
"Hot Job!"
Translation: We're desperate |
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