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caniff
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: All over the map
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 Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:54 am Post subject: |
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| waltjocketty wrote: |
| nuthatch wrote: |
hey waltjocketty,
I know where you are. I lived there many years ago.
I always liked living there...lots of music.
Sounds like you made the right move with the gf. She would not understand living there.
Good luck with your studies. |
Good to hear that.
Fishman is playing at Flynn in a couple weeks. Possibly the best thing about being here vs. Korea is the ridiculous amount of intimate shows in and around Burlington. Too bad the snow is already covering the roads, though. |
I'm originally from Massachusetts and used to go up there for skiiing and partying alot back in the day. There's a lot of coolness up there, but I don't know if a Korean native would dig it too much as far as living long-term goes. |
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nuthatch
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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yes, I have been hearing the news about the foot of snow (in October!)
once it starts to stay below freezing all day long (late November?), it seems to be drier and more bearable |
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nuthatch
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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caniff wrote:
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| There's a lot of coolness up there |
yes, it is a very small, progressive (if freezing cold place in winter) state, and it became that way in the 70s - to the present - people from the drop out era of Vietnam/post Vietnam - then mainstreaming and getting on with their lives - where entrepreneurial businesses started and thrived like Ben & Jerry's
where there is still a beautiful 18th/19th century pastoral landscape to enjoy and inspire
many writers and artists
and where all the senate and congressmen voted against the war in Iraq and other Bush/Cheney bs way before it was popular in the rest of the country
where the then Gov. Howard Dean (who came out against the war before Bush started his entry) started a new direction for the Democratic Party when he ran for president (he is now the chair) - and let's hope on Tuesday we see a turn
a nice place to transition
but a Korean who aspires to 1950s 1960s state-of-mind might have a hard time with the culture there - as it is post-industrial society |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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| waltjocketty wrote: |
| I'm in school and can't put the effort into the relationship that I thought I could previously. |
It's easier to use such excuses when you don't have to see the person face to face.
I would say, tell her flat out..."It's Over" and that you have no intention of continuing the relationship.
Tell her there is no "I don't want to accept it" etc...and maybe even allow her the thought that you were the one in the wrong...because simply put...you probably saw this coming... 
Don't use the excuses "Oh you wouldn't like it here or this place is so small blah blah blah". Tell her the reason you do not want her to come is that your feelings have changed and you do not feel it is right to continue.
Point blank man! |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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| mssinmymind wrote: |
| waltjocketty wrote: |
| I'm in school and can't put the effort into the relationship that I thought I could previously. |
It's easier to use such excuses when you don't have to see the person face to face.
I would say, tell her flat out..."It's Over" and that you have no intention of continuing the relationship.
Tell her there is no "I don't want to accept it" etc...and maybe even allow her the thought that you were the one in the wrong...because simply put...you probably saw this coming...
Don't use the excuses "Oh you wouldn't like it here or this place is so small blah blah blah". Tell her the reason you do not want her to come is that your feelings have changed and you do not feel it is right to continue.
Point blank man! |
You're right, and that is what I said when she asked if I would change my mind and when she told me she won't accept it. |
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dossi
Joined: 19 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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I really think you weren't considerate enough or honest enough (even to yourself) about what was going to happen. You knew you were going to a small town and you obviously have given some thought on how it could impact your life and your relationship.
As for her having settling down in Vermont.
Vermont isn't too bad. People are nice, tolerant and very accepting for the most part.
My aunt's family lives in Jericho, Vermont and I know some of the Korea Americans there can help her settle down.
Is she crazy?
I think you are the one who knows the answer more than anyone else here. In the worst case scenario, brace yourself for suicide threats and endless crying over the phone, maybe even self-injury. How old is she and how long were you two together?
I hope she comes to her senses and realise that chasing you is futile, but a lot of Korean women give their all in a relationship. When that gets taken away... then you know hell ensues usually. |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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| dossi wrote: |
How old is she and how long were you two together?
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She's 25 and we were together for a little over a year.
And you're right about the honesty thing. I feel terrible. |
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ciccone_youth
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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Vermont is such a beautiful place, I go there often since it's so close to Montreal.
I'm sure she'll leave you alone. I just cannot believe the stories I hear about crazy Korean stalking girls... why are they so desperate?
If I were her I'd already be in Hongdae picking up another foreigner  |
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fruitcake
Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Location: shinchon
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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| dossi wrote: |
| My aunt's family lives in Jericho, Vermont |
I grew up 10 miles from there |
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offtheoche
Joined: 21 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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My last Korean girlfriend...I had to change my number after dumping her. Luckily I live in a nice apartment complex with good security.....and any time she showed up at my place, the security guard(who I pre-rewarded with a nice bottle of whiskey) managed to escort her off of the premises without her causing too much of a scene.
In my opinion....Korean woman do become stalkers once rejected. My advice is to block her e-mails/texts/calls etc. Trust me it's the only way these women will understand. |
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Suwon23
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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Wait. Rural Vermont? As in, not really remote at all?
Maybe I'm biased, because I'm from the south. Your idea of "rural" and my idea of "rural" are two completely different rurals. Atlanta is one solid day of driving from any other major city, so I can't help but snicker when people talk about "rural" Pennsylvania or "rural" Vermont. There's a huge Korean community right down the road in Montreal, isn't there?
Anyway, good luck with your decision. As Lance Armstrong said in Dodgeball, I'm sure you won't regret giving up. |
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The Great Toad
Joined: 12 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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I have no clue how close you became with her. I have no clue of her ideals of love nor any knowledge of ur belief system.
However, I do know that a co worker years ago made the foolish mistake of knowing a Corean women in nakedness together. In that intimacy she placed eternal romance and a date to be wed he on the other hand He placed into her bosom cleft only the things that gave his heart pleasure.
Temporal situations like these cut hearts in two to become one. Yet, many a man plays it like a boy and his monkey on a joy ride through the bush on a hunt for a good game of tag. And the Jungle and hearts are both beautiful but can be cut down to nothing...
It is reflected in the current sadness of the EV boys Movie in which he mentions Love Motels English Exchange and the eventual leaving of his selfish self to America with out one Korean Lass wed despite having carnal and more than oral Language exchange.
http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=6uwp5ShEEl8
This Love of lust before honor and ultimate commitment brings on melancholy to the poor bunnies who are too eager to play thumper with Bambi Blue eyed boyos.
I urge all the fellows here to at least engage in their destruction with a girl whose heart is already well crushed and not a gentle bunny who is given to fallacies about sex and marriage that will not take place.
As I said I have no idea what you two did but I think a lot of teachers here are guilty of mutual damage doing with willing K-girls who don't seem to understand men. Too bad not all can be a Gentleman And English Noble Lord like myself ahhh well Justice is the Blade that will sweep the planes clean. Justice is Eternal. |
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TheChickenLover
Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Location: The Chicken Coop
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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People tend to do the right thing in their minds at the time they are making these decisions. Looking at things hindsight is always 20/20 and you'll never know until its much later.
Regardless, if your gut says it would not work out and she's 25 (which means she's very much like a 17yr old western teen) then you're probably right, it would have failed in the end.
Move on & enjoy your life.
Chicken |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:28 am Post subject: |
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| The Great Toad wrote: |
I have no clue how close you became with her. I have no clue of her ideals of love nor any knowledge of ur belief system.
However, I do know that a co worker years ago made the foolish mistake of knowing a Corean women in nakedness together. In that intimacy she placed eternal romance and a date to be wed he on the other hand He placed into her bosom cleft only the things that gave his heart pleasure.
Temporal situations like these cut hearts in two to become one. Yet, many a man plays it like a boy and his monkey on a joy ride through the bush on a hunt for a good game of tag. And the Jungle and hearts are both beautiful but can be cut down to nothing...
It is reflected in the current sadness of the EV boys Movie in which he mentions Love Motels English Exchange and the eventual leaving of his selfish self to America with out one Korean Lass wed despite having carnal and more than oral Language exchange.
http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=6uwp5ShEEl8
This Love of lust before honor and ultimate commitment brings on melancholy to the poor bunnies who are too eager to play thumper with Bambi Blue eyed boyos.
I urge all the fellows here to at least engage in their destruction with a girl whose heart is already well crushed and not a gentle bunny who is given to fallacies about sex and marriage that will not take place.
As I said I have no idea what you two did but I think a lot of teachers here are guilty of mutual damage doing with willing K-girls who don't seem to understand men. Too bad not all can be a Gentleman And English Noble Lord like myself ahhh well Justice is the Blade that will sweep the planes clean. Justice is Eternal. |
crack? or just weed? |
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bundangbear
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: www.youtube.com/bundangbear
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| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:55 am Post subject: |
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Get yourself a nice Filipina! She will solve all your problems!
I love rural Vermont! My uncle has a cabin near Lake Champlain, near St. Alban's, and I used to go up there every summer and winter. Wonderful place! And I remember fondly the Dead Highgate shows, too! And Phish when they were a local band! Jinjja!
I heard from my uncle up there hunting there was some snow, but it was a joke compared to what's coming later this winter.
peace out,
bb
www.youtube.com/bundangbear |
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