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tomato
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
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 Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Ukon wrote: |
| Socialites tend to enjoy the hell out of life....it's not really a burden that you make it seem unless you want to make it so. |
Enjoy it, then.
The last time I attended a social function for 외국인's, all they did was sit around chitchatting about the weather.
If you prefer that over reading an interesting book, go for it. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Ukon wrote: |
| And lastly I wonder how many of you are real introverts....If you hate parties and clubs, but get giddy at the chance to go to a LAN party or Comic convention...I think your likely shy. |
That's stereotypical.
I'm an introvert and would be perfectly happy to do a million things all alone. However, if there is a gathering of coworkers, friends want to meet, or my classmates (I'm studying Korean again at the moment) want to get together, I have absolutely no problem doing it.
Being an introvert really just means that, by and large, I prefer doing things alone. |
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Lord Dimwit Flathead
Joined: 07 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:25 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Ukon"]
| Lord Dimwit Flathead wrote: |
Socialites tend to enjoy the hell out of life....it's not really a burden that you make it seem unless you want to make it so.
And lastly I wonder how many of you are real introverts....If you hate parties and clubs, but get giddy at the chance to go to a LAN party or Comic convention...I think your likely shy. |
Socialites know that as socialites they are thought by others to be enjoying their lives. They spend any amount of time or money and go to any measure to simulate the appearance of 'enjoying the hell out of life.' Whether they really are enjoying it... that is a question they would have no real answer to because it is irrelevant to their reality. A thoughtful answer would require a sort of self-reflection from which they have largely divorced themselves. I have already agreed that the life of the socialite comes with many perks, but the appearance of glamor takes precedence over whether something is actually exciting or glamorous.
With introversion on the other hand, under the most unassuming surfaces one finds what is truly fascinating and engaging.
Yes, introverts too require social time, but it does not define them. It typically takes place with small groups of proven friends or within communities centered around specialized interests and hobbies. Social interaction is necessary for the introvert, but it is taken like a vitamin, as needed to protect against deficiency. Societies and social gatherings on the introverted side are not about becoming what one is expected to be but rather each member helping the others to become what they were meant to be. |
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Easter Clark
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Location: Hiding from Yie Eun-woong
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| Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Is teaching the best line of work for an introvert? |
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milspecs
Joined: 19 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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I think its good to be both. At times I will want to go out and do the whole bar/club scene, then some nights I just prefer to stay home watching a movie, reading, and etc....
I agree though, most introverts are probably just shy. I was shy as a kid, but got over it. Just have to come to the reality, that nobody is paying THAT much attention to you. |
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Lord Dimwit Flathead
Joined: 07 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Easter Clark wrote: |
| Is teaching the best line of work for an introvert? |
Quite the rhetorical question, and loaded with implications!
I've done some teaching, and as an introvert, found myself surpisingly well suited to it.
I think a lot of extroverts have to fight their craving for human interaction in the classroom, much as some people might have to exercise self-restraint in a shopping mall or at a car dealership.
Extroverted teachers I think have a greater need for approval from their students, feel an urge to interact with their students on a more personal level.
As an introvert, I think my students sensed I was removed from them. Without the distractions a more extroverted person might deal with, I found myself able to get to the point and stay focused on the task at hand.
The kids sensed that I couldn't care less what they thought of me. I had an easier time keeping my bearing as an authority figure than a more bubbly person would, and commanded a certain respect because I wasn't trying for it.
As far as developing warm feelings for students and learning about their personal lives, that came too, but AFTER I became established as the instructor.
Getting my social interaction at work was like a pay bonus for me. It satisfied my needs in full, leaving me free in the evening to do pursue my personal activities.
In short, I would challenge the common wisdom that the best teachers are necessarily bubbly and extroverted individuals.
Or for any public position.
The best preacher I've ever known was an introvert. He got in his social time while working and read extensively in his spare time. His wide knowledge made his sermons particularly interesting to listen to. His more methodical introverted manner and ability to listen made him an exceptional personal counselor. |
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PeteJB
Joined: 06 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Misery loves company. Or is it just that Introverts come across as miseries to the uneducated? Many introverts enjoy the company of another more than an extrovert, especially if the company is also an introvert. Once you get past that awkward barrier of initial interaction, you can hit it off and make a great friend. Do you ever imagine how you would be if you were the other way around? I've sometimes found that I can see myself reflected in other people, but they are almost perfect "polar opposites" of myself. This is quite a strange experience. We are the same, yet we are different. Two sides of the same coin. I am the introvert, and the other person is the extrovert - Yet we are so alike. It's like looking in a mirror and the reflection is an extroverted version of you staring back. It's situations like that, which make me wonder if there truely is parallel universes out there with millions of pathetic me's running around with millions of pathetic lives. |
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mheartley
Joined: 18 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:56 am Post subject: |
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What I find interesting is how introverts and extroverts so often fit together well in a relationship, because I (as an introvert) could not imagine being in a relationship with someone extroverted. But my sister and her husband, for example, are both on opposite sides of the spectrum. She is one of the most extroverted people you would ever meet, the kind who strikes up conversations with ANYONE without a moment's hesitation. Her husband is considerably introverted, quite like me in nature, kind of the "quiet nice guy". Anyway he gets her to make phone calls for him, take things back to the store for a refund, bargain for things, etc, because he doesn't like talking to people he's not comfortable around, and she's happy to do it because it's so within her nature to be able to approach strangers and ask things of them. Their relationship is the kind of thing where you look at it from the outside and think "How could that possibly work?", but they're made for each other. I think if she married some dude just like herself in nature, they would have strangled each other a long time ago. Opposites really do attract. I guess it does make sense in some ways, in that you have a talker and a listener rather than two talkers/listeners, though that may be too simplistic a way of looking at it.
In terms of teaching, I have really found teaching brings me out of my shell, so to speak. It puts me on the spot, time to act out my little performance, it's like I flick on a switch and off I go, once I'm done and I'm out of the classroom it's back to normal. I definitely enjoy the interaction with people, I guess as students I'm not as conscious of them critiquing my character in any way, I don't feel as much that I'm in the spotlight, which I'm probably much too aware of when talking to other adults. In that sense teaching has been good for me, in that I've found out I have it in me to be able to at least pretend to be extroverted for a while, and to know what that feels like, though it feels like too much work and a bit beyond me to maintain outside of the classroom, and after all that I realize I'm reasonably content being the way I am. |
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Lord Dimwit Flathead
Joined: 07 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| PeteJB wrote: |
| Misery loves company. Or is it just that Introverts come across as miseries to the uneducated? ... I am the introvert, and the other person is the extrovert - Yet we are so alike. It's like looking in a mirror and the reflection is an extroverted version of you staring back. |
I have not had the experience of being alike except for not being as verbose. Introverts in my experience tend to have fundamentally different tendencies, world views, personal philosophies, and interests.
It is a typical extrovert misunderstanding that introverts are just poor fools who need to 'get out more'. In fact it is exactly this patronizing attitude that forms something of a divide.
They think themselves empathetic, but they are frequently mistaken in their assessment on the occasion their attention happens to fall upon an introvert. Introverts are forced to make their way in a highly social society, they are keenly aware of the other side. An extrovert on the other hand frequently is completely clueless when it comes to those who do not thrive off of constantly being around others.
As far as misery: By virtue of being a minority, most introverts have been made miserable by the ways of the extroverted at some point in their lives. Most introverts actually have to fight to stay as they are. they do so because they are the way they want to be; it makes them feel happy and at peace. They are following a different set of values and as such, many introverts would not even like themselves very much if they become socialites. Many introverts question their ways, but few are willing to pay the price of becoming what the rest of society wants: to do so would be to deny oneself and to live a lie. What an extrovert would see as self improvement is self-destruction, self-hate, death for the introvert.
Here is a blog post on 'marketing to introverts' that I thought did a good job in explaining the introverted character:
http://www.social-marketing.com/blog/2006/12/marketing-to-introverts.html |
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tomato
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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At one time, I got brainwashed by extravert propaganda, so I went out and masqueraded as an extravert.
It was exhausting, and I don't intend to ever do it again.
What's good for one person is not necessarily good for another. I can't wear clothes that fit someone and I can't take medicine which was prescribed for someone else. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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| tomato wrote: |
At one time, I got brainwashed by extravert propaganda, so I went out and masqueraded as an extravert.
It was exhausting, and I don't intend to ever do it again.
What's good for one person is not necessarily good for another. I can't wear clothes that fit someone and I can't take medicine which was prescribed for someone else. |
Acting extroverted is tiring, but it's a useful skill.
No jab intended, but it would do wonders for your Korean ability. |
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tomato
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe, maybe not.
Most of the extraverted wegukin's I've known got involved around the clock with other wegukin's and with self-interested Fergusonians.
Any Koreans who would otherwise speak Korean to them were unable to get within ten feet.
You're probaby right in implying that I should approach more Koreans, but I'm usually afraid to.
I can't tell just from looking whether a Korean is a Fergusonian or not.
And I'm sorely allergic to Fergusonian bites. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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| tomato wrote: |
Maybe, maybe not.
Most of the extraverted wegukin's I've known got involved around the clock with other wegukin's and with self-interested Fergusonians.
Any Koreans who would otherwise speak Korean to them were unable to get within ten feet.
You're probaby right in implying that I should approach more Koreans, but I'm usually afraid to.
I can't tell just from looking whether a Korean is a Fergusonian or not.
And I'm sorely allergic to Fergusonian bites. |
I'm not talking about being the life of the party and I'm not talking about approaching people on the street. I'm talking about putting yourself into situations or finding places where interaction is going to happen, and then interacting. |
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tomato
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
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| Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:24 am Post subject: |
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I'm doing the best I can.
I attend Korean sign language class, I attend Japanese class, and I go to the children's room at the library and read Korean picture books to little kids.
Weekend before last, I gave a violin performance at a local restaurant.
I asked a local piano studio to supply me with some accompaniests.
The weekend before the performance, we had a two-and-a-half hour rehearsal.
That was the longest time I have ever been in the company of Koreans without being spoken to in English.
An extravert can probably do better than that, but I'm doing the best I can. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: |
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| tomato wrote: |
| An extravert can probably do better than that, but I'm doing the best I can. |
Actually, you're doing incredibly well. When you said, "At one time, I got brainwashed by extravert propaganda, so I went out and masqueraded as an extravert. It was exhausting, and I don't intend to ever do it again," I assumed that you weren't doing it anymore. |
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