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travelingfool
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Location: Parents' basement
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 Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm no Picasso wrote: |
| travelingfool wrote: |
When dating you always have to be just out of reach.
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To the OP, those are some serious red flags and head games she is playing. |
Uh... sounds like you're a little into head games yourself. That tit for tat shiz is tired and immature. It may be a rare gem who doesn't require you to play games to keep their interest, and doesn't do the same in response (it's a problem on both sides -- and both genders like to blame the other as the originator), but I'd rather f*cking wait it out. What the hell is so wrong with being into someone and admitting it, and having them admit it right back? If you can't even manage that, you have no business even calling what you have a relationship.... |
Let me rephrase that: Women like guys who are their own person and are not needy and dependent. Women like guys who are a challenge and keep things interesting. It's not game playing. Think of it like a fireplace. In order to keep it going you need to keep adding to it. Same is true with relationships. Women like a degree of unpredictability and spontaneity. Women also like guys with the balls to put them in their place if they are clearly out of line. It's called having a backbone. If you become a big sensitive gift bearing ass kissing mangina, most clinically sane women will lose interest or else walk all over you. It's a vetting process. |
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Goku
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| travelingfool wrote: |
| I'm no Picasso wrote: |
| travelingfool wrote: |
When dating you always have to be just out of reach.
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| Quote: |
To the OP, those are some serious red flags and head games she is playing. |
Uh... sounds like you're a little into head games yourself. That tit for tat shiz is tired and immature. It may be a rare gem who doesn't require you to play games to keep their interest, and doesn't do the same in response (it's a problem on both sides -- and both genders like to blame the other as the originator), but I'd rather f*cking wait it out. What the hell is so wrong with being into someone and admitting it, and having them admit it right back? If you can't even manage that, you have no business even calling what you have a relationship.... |
Let me rephrase that: Women like guys who are their own person and are not needy and dependent. Women like guys who are a challenge and keep things interesting. It's not game playing. Think of it like a fireplace. In order to keep it going you need to keep adding to it. Same is true with relationships. Women like a degree of unpredictability and spontaneity. Women also like guys with the balls to put them in their place if they are clearly out of line. It's called having a backbone. If you become a big sensitive gift bearing ass kissing mangina, most clinically sane women will lose interest or else walk all over you. It's a vetting process. |
So true, and well said.
Some guys won't put women in their place when they are out of line. In fact women like it when you give them boundaries. |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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| travelingfool wrote: |
Let me rephrase that: Women like guys who are their own person and are not needy and dependent. Women like guys who are a challenge and keep things interesting. It's not game playing. Think of it like a fireplace. In order to keep it going you need to keep adding to it. Same is true with relationships. Women like a degree of unpredictability and spontaneity. Women also like guys with the balls to put them in their place if they are clearly out of line. It's called having a backbone. If you become a big sensitive gift bearing ass kissing mangina, most clinically sane women will lose interest or else walk all over you. It's a vetting process. |
Absolutely right. A doormat does not a good boyfriend make. I think in order to be in love with someone, you must, first and foremost, respect them. If that is what you meant, you're dead on.
| Goku wrote: |
| In fact women like it when you give them boundaries. |
Absolutely wrong. I don't need (or want) another father. |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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[quote=] a 600k won pair of sunglasses [/quote]
Wow. That's like paying 50 bucks for a pair of socks. |
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Goku
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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So you like guys that are easily manipulated and controllable?
Women like guys that act like fathers. It is instinctual. Men who have principals, boundaries, and know when to say no.
How do you agree to traveling fool and disagree with my post on the same thing?
EDIT: Upon further inspection of the history of your posts. seems like you misinterpreted what travelingfool was saying and now me.... so let me repharse:
"Women like men who are strong"
Ok Understand? |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Goku wrote: |
So you like guys that are easily manipulated and controllable?
Women like guys that act like fathers. It is instinctual. Men who have principals, boundaries, and know when to say no.
How do you agree to traveling fool and disagree with my post on the same thing?
EDIT: Upon further inspection of the history of your posts. seems like you misinterpreted what travelingfool was saying and now me.... so let me repharse:
"Women like men who are strong"
Ok Understand? |
No, I didn't misinterpret. There is a huge difference between purposely staying just out of the reach of a woman, even if you really like her, and not being needy and dependent. Just as there is a huge difference between giving a woman "boundaries" and acting like her father, and being a strong man.
In fact, I see them as polar opposites. |
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Papa Smurf
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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| this sounds familiar. what is her name? seriously. |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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| travelingfool wrote: |
| Women also like guys with the balls to put them in their place if they are clearly out of line. |
Hmmm. I like a guy who asserts himself and doesn't make me guess why he's upset. Then we discuss what's wrong like a couple of adults. A guy who decided I was "out of line" and therefore needed to be put in my place because my boyfriend has balls and that's what guys with balls do.... The only sensible response I could muster would be peals of laughter. |
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esetters21
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:03 pm Post subject: |
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Goku, I saw what you posted about me stalking you. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I was simply pointing out your inconsistency.
You start threads looking for advice and affirmation to your actions, yet in retrospect seem to like to give advice to situations when similar posts arise.
That's all. I can't imagine ever taking advice from you, or for that matter coming onto a public forum looking for it in terms of a relationship.
Keep doing your thing and leave me out of it. |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:25 pm Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
Perhaps this is what Goku was referring to. No matter what sort of spin one puts on them, those two comments above are of a piece. And it surprised me when you concurred with the first poster's comment without taking exception to that one line. Maybe you missed it, maybe you didn't think it was worth mentioning, or.... maybe, down deep, you actually sorta kinda agree with it? to some extent?
And if that is the case, then I suppose I really oughtn't be all that surprised, for many is the time I've heard the very same thing, in private, from women who are self-proclaimed feminists or at least reliable supporters of feminist issues.
It goes a little sumthin like this: "Off camera, off mic, off the podium and off the record -- and I'll deny this to the hilt if you dare quote me, but... Guru... *sigh* ... when all is said & done, we really do want guys with the cojones to not take the kinda shit that only us chicks are capable of dishing out.  " |
No, the difference is only very slight in tone but very obvious in practice. If "put her in her place" had not been qualified with "clearly out of line", then I might have taken issue. The reason I don't object is that if I'm being a f*cking bitch, then I deserve to be told I'm being a f*cking bitch and it won't be tolerated. That's absolutely fine. So long as it is understood that I will absolutely, 100% of the time be putting my beloved in his place, should he decide to act like a f*cking bitch.
It's a two-way street. The father-daughter thing is not. At all. And it's creepy, to boot. |
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ED209
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| Think of it like a fireplace. |
Keep poking it and try not to look at the mantle piece? |
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 3:55 am Post subject: |
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| Goku wrote: |
So you like guys that are easily manipulated and controllable?
Women like guys that act like fathers. It is instinctual. Men who have principals, boundaries, and know when to say no.
let me rephrase:
"Women like men who are strong"
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I suspect you might be misunderstanding the chicks. You seem to be arguing that relationships are dominated by either the male or female, and that most of us dames want to be dominated. You missed a third option- one of equality in the relationship, with some give and take in the power dynamic.
I think that's what most bright, well-adjusted women want, it's certainly what I am looking for. I don't dare speak for all women, because there are clearly some who are looking for a father figure, and others looking for someone to mother
I do want someone with principles, boundaries and who knows when to say no, not because he'd be like a father, but because I have those qualities and I find it difficult to respect people who don't. |
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Goku
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| esetters21 wrote: |
Goku, I saw what you posted about me stalking you. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I was simply pointing out your inconsistency.
You start threads looking for advice and affirmation to your actions, yet in retrospect seem to like to give advice to situations when similar posts arise.
That's all. I can't imagine ever taking advice from you, or for that matter coming onto a public forum looking for it in terms of a relationship.
Keep doing your thing and leave me out of it. |
I was joking bro. I don't actually think you are stalking me. 
As for the "inconsitency" that was because I had been seeing her for a while but only offically going out about a week ago. It's different and maybe I wrote it in a confusing way, but whatever. That's my fault then.
And because I ask for advice in one area doesn't mean I don't understand women in another area. I certainly know how to get things I want, but I have no idea about others. That's all. I know how to "romantic" things (at least according to my own ideals) but I can't buy romantic gifts. I know usually what women are thinking (but I don't know what she'll think if I ask her to shave her goddamn lip).
I don't think it's too unusual for someone to not be perfect. I mean, just because I don't understand one aspect doesn't mean I give advice about another. (and excuse this metaphor as I don't really think women and cars are comparable) just because I don't understand how the engine works doesnt mean I cant give advice about break fluid or the steering system.
BTW. She did shave it, without me asking so that was great.
Oh and as for the word boundaries.
Maybe I'm using it in the wrong context here.
When i say boundaries and women like boundaries let me clarify.
Women like men (and not all women obviously but the majority)
Like a man who can draw the line at certain things. Women don't like men who are easily stepped on and you can do things to him without him establishing any boundaries. Women prefer a guy who will say what's ok with him, and what's not. Rather than just saying "Ok" "Ok" "That's fine".
A yes man basically. He makes the relationship boring and dull. |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
| Goku wrote: |
So you like guys that are easily manipulated and controllable?
Women like guys that act like fathers. It is instinctual. Men who have principals, boundaries, and know when to say no.
let me rephrase:
"Women like men who are strong"
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I suspect you might be misunderstanding the chicks. You seem to be arguing that relationships are dominated by either the male or female, and that most of us dames want to be dominated. You missed a third option- one of equality in the relationship, with some give and take in the power dynamic.
I think that's what most bright, well-adjusted women want, it's certainly what I am looking for. I don't dare speak for all women, because there are clearly some who are looking for a father figure, and others looking for someone to mother
I do want someone with principles, boundaries and who knows when to say no, not because he'd be like a father, but because I have those qualities and I find it difficult to respect people who don't. |
Precisely what I was driving at. And well put. |
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rusty1983
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
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| Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
| Goku wrote: |
So you like guys that are easily manipulated and controllable?
Women like guys that act like fathers. It is instinctual. Men who have principals, boundaries, and know when to say no.
let me rephrase:
"Women like men who are strong"
|
I suspect you might be misunderstanding the chicks. You seem to be arguing that relationships are dominated by either the male or female, and that most of us dames want to be dominated. You missed a third option- one of equality in the relationship, with some give and take in the power dynamic.
I think that's what most bright, well-adjusted women want, it's certainly what I am looking for. I don't dare speak for all women, because there are clearly some who are looking for a father figure, and others looking for someone to mother
I do want someone with principles, boundaries and who knows when to say no, not because he'd be like a father, but because I have those qualities and I find it difficult to respect people who don't. |
Im a guy but thats what I want. Sometimes she's on her knees and begging, sometimes I'm on my knees and begging. Sometimes I love dominant women. And sometimes I want to be the DADDY. Other times though Id rather not be bothered and just sit off and not get too strung out on who's got all the power, cos my bottys too sore or Ive had to wind myself in, cos Im sky high on power and tried to make her do my ironing in the nuddy. |
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