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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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 Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 7:06 am Post subject: Marrying a Korean |
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| I know that when you marry a Korean, it is the unromantic paperwork filing that actually makes you legally married. For those of you who married a Korean, how long did it take you to have a "real" ceremony? I have heard from people that if a couple gets married without having a ceremony, the chances are slim to none that you will ever have one. And sorry, but I just couldn't be happy with a courthouse or paper signing marriage. |
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Chris_Dixon
Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 7:22 am Post subject: |
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| Shouldn't this be something you discuss with your wife to be??? IF you want a ceremony then have one lol.... |
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SeoulFinn
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Location: 1h from Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 10:41 am Post subject: Re: Marrying a Korean |
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I'm not married, but I have to mention something.
| princess wrote: |
| [...]I have heard from people that if a couple gets married without having a ceremony, the chances are slim to none that you will ever have one.[...] |
According to an old Korean belief, everyone should have a wedding ceremony at least once in their lives. Yes, the paperwork makes the marriage legal, but it's not enough, in a sense, to make the participants real adults.
If you don't believe me I suggest that you read my BA or MA thesis.  Or you could read what anthropologist Laurel Kendall writes about marriage in Korea in "Getting Married in Korea: of gender, morality, and modernity." Many of her books (usually about shamanism) mention about the importance/meaning of marriage in Korea. |
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Hanson
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:21 pm Post subject: Re: Marrying a Korean |
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| SeoulFinn wrote: |
I'm not married, but I have to mention something.
| princess wrote: |
| [...]I have heard from people that if a couple gets married without having a ceremony, the chances are slim to none that you will ever have one.[...] |
According to an old Korean belief, everyone should have a wedding ceremony at least once in their lives. Yes, the paperwork makes the marriage legal, but it's not enough, in a sense, to make the participants real adults.
If you don't believe me I suggest that you read my BA or MA thesis. Or you could read what anthropologist Laurel Kendall writes about marriage in Korea in "Getting Married in Korea: of gender, morality, and modernity." Many of her books (usually about shamanism) mention about the importance/meaning of marriage in Korea. |
A wedding is only as important as you make it out to be. I never had a wedding, and probably never will because it's just not that important to us (my wife is of Korean descent). Marriage is a whole other kettle of fish, though.
I think what you quoted from princess is true; that if you don't have a ceremony at the beginning of a marriage, you never will. It's true in my case because a wedding simply isn't/wasn't a priority for us (plus, being non-religious helps). Love and marriage are all that matter. |
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T-J
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:13 pm Post subject: Re: Marrying a Korean |
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| princess wrote: |
I know that when you marry a Korean, it is the unromantic paperwork filing that actually makes you legally married.
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Let me preface this with saying this is true in just about every state in the U.S. Ceremonies are just that, ceremonies and are not legally recognized until you obtain your marriage license from you town/county government.
This can be done before or after a wedding ceremony, just as it can here in Korea. The only difference here in Korea (or anywhere when two different nationalities are involved) is that the process has to be done twice, so that the marriage is legally recognized by both countries.
Whether or not to have a ceremony falls under personal preference, just as what type of ceremony you want does.
Personally we wanted a ceremony and had one that included western and Korean elements. I had family who flew over from the States in attendance as well as many friends from all over the world that I had met attending Yonsei's KLI. Of course her entire family attended. It was a large wedding filled with wonderful memories. It was a very stressful time planning for it, which is also fairly universal I think.
The stress of planning a wedding is one of the reasons I recommend having one. It is a good time to test the relationship so to speak. The stress, give and take, and interaction between the two families can be trying to say the least, but I still recommend it. |
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CentralCali
Joined: 17 May 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:54 pm Post subject: Re: Marrying a Korean |
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| T-J wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
I know that when you marry a Korean, it is the unromantic paperwork filing that actually makes you legally married.
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Let me preface this with saying this is true in just about every state in the U.S. Ceremonies are just that, ceremonies and are not legally recognized until you obtain your marriage license from you town/county government. |
You really misunderstand the US system. The officiant signs off on the marriage certificate after the ceremony. The officiant won't conduct a ceremony without the marriage license. |
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Real Reality
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:04 pm Post subject: Re: Marrying a Korean |
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| Hanson wrote: |
| SeoulFinn wrote: |
I'm not married, but I have to mention something.
| princess wrote: |
| [...]I have heard from people that if a couple gets married without having a ceremony, the chances are slim to none that you will ever have one.[...] |
According to an old Korean belief, everyone should have a wedding ceremony at least once in their lives. Yes, the paperwork makes the marriage legal, but it's not enough, in a sense, to make the participants real adults.
If you don't believe me I suggest that you read my BA or MA thesis. :-P Or you could read what anthropologist Laurel Kendall writes about marriage in Korea in "Getting Married in Korea: of gender, morality, and modernity." Many of her books (usually about shamanism) mention about the importance/meaning of marriage in Korea. |
A wedding is only as important as you make it out to be. I never had a wedding, and probably never will because it's just not that important to us (my wife is of Korean descent). Marriage is a whole other kettle of fish, though.
I think what you quoted from princess is true; that if you don't have a ceremony at the beginning of a marriage, you never will. It's true in my case because a wedding simply isn't/wasn't a priority for us (plus, being non-religious helps). Love and marriage are all that matter. |
Love is all that matters. |
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T-J
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:27 pm Post subject: Re: Marrying a Korean |
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| CentralCali wrote: |
| T-J wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
I know that when you marry a Korean, it is the unromantic paperwork filing that actually makes you legally married.
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Let me preface this with saying this is true in just about every state in the U.S. Ceremonies are just that, ceremonies and are not legally recognized until you obtain your marriage license from you town/county government. |
You really misunderstand the US system. The officiant signs off on the marriage certificate after the ceremony. The officiant won't conduct a ceremony without the marriage license. |
You are correct. Let me rephrase. Marriages are not legally recognized until you obtain a certificate of marriage from your town/county government. Sorry for confusing the subject. The fact remains that it is the recognition by the government that matters not the ceremony. The license must be obtained before the ceremony if one is held and the certificate of marriage is obtained after.
The fact that a ceremony is completely optional and inconsequential to the legal status of the union in both the States and Korea was my original point and remains unchanged.
I still recommend the ceremony. |
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