Korean Job Discussion Forums

[poet13]

So I was at camp today, and talking about my 4 year old son.
He's starting kindergarten in the spring, and another teacher was asking me about his Korean skills and how he learns. I said he speaks Korean at Wu Shu, but we don't let him speak Korean at home. "Why not?", she asks. Her ire is up a bit, eyes wider open, her head back a bit, and her voice a few notes higher. I said it's because he already has two other languages to learn, his own language (Tagalog) and English. I said that I didn't want him mixing up languages and getting confused by trying to speak three languages at home, and that I also didn't want him to abandon his own countries language. The best solution for us is to separate where he learns what.

The other teacher pushed, arguing that when in Korea, do as the Koreans....etc. I deflected as much as possible, and at a point tried to just walk away. She followed. And continued. Finally I said, "Look, the only place in the world people speak Korean is in Korea. And even here, people are trying to learn another language. We are not here forever, and we don't consider Korean to be particularily important in the grand scheme." Then I definitively walked away saying I had to prepare for class.

While leaving camp a teacher stopped me for a moment to ask me why I didn't like Korea. At this point I'm done with it. I just said, "Korea is a very small pit stop in my lifes' journey." No, I don't think he understsood that, but I don't really care.

How would you have handled that? Longer or shorter fuse? More or less diplomacy?

[tigercat]

That sucks... They took it so personally.

I guess when you live in a monolithic society, you don't appreciate the value of diversity. I probably would've just explained that my child is already learning Korean (it's not like I don't want him to learn...), and I want to teach him Tagalog and English at home. I'm sure Korean immigrants in Canada or USA would want their children to learn and speak Korean at home too. Just because parents don't want their children to abandon their own language doesn't mean those parents hate Canada or USA.

But then... it doesn't sound like they'd understand.

[buymybook]

Your stay here might be shorter than expected. Sounds like they were baiting you and will use it against.

Try putting it on the other foot. Ask them who knows English at their home. If more than one person does, then ask them if they speak English at home, on weekends, or for a given period of time? I've done it before in this situation and nobody will say that they try using only English at home with each other.

They only speak English is the presence of a Native Speaker. Ask them WHY, I wonder why not when they can speak English? If more Koreans would use English with each other they would know English better.

[I'm no Picasso]

Can't say for sure. When your fuse is lit, it's lit. You know what I mean? And that seems like one of those situations where diplomacy goes out the window, whether you intend for it to or not.

I don't know why people feel the need to mind everyone else's business, especially when it comes to child rearing. However, if the teacher has kids of her own, they are more than likely studying English, yeah? I would've probably just shifted to questions about that -- why do her children need to learn English? They are Korean, their family is Korean, they live in Korea... why would she support her children learning English?

I don't think it would've gone over well, but I think the conversation would have probably ended pretty quickly.

[whatever]

I wouldn't have justified it at all. "He's my child. End of discussion."

[Temporary]

delete

[Temporary]

The human brain is amazing especially at a young age.

You don't need to seperate the things your kid learns. Studies have shown that the human brain can distinguish different languages at a you age with out explanations.

Although teaching and or learning languages at a young age actually causes initial slow down of learning the individual langauges IE Vocabulary and structure/gramma, but it very easily overcome with in a year or two. Its also shown that children that know more then one langauge have MUCH better problem solving skills then children that are mono linguistic. Some argue that knowing multiple languages also increases IQ.

To be honest with you it sounds like you had a shity day. I would have just said that its my child I will raise it the way I see fit. Koreans are very fucking nosy when it comes to intruding into personal lives and I understand why you said what you did.

Honestly you can say Korean is limited because I don't really know too many places on earth that speak Tagalog besides Philipines. A langauage is only as limited as you see it. No language is useless.

[esetters21]

[Girlygirl]

Hey OP,

First of all, I agree with you.

However, I think they got offended not what you said but how you said it. Here's how I would have handled: "I think it's very beneficial for my son to learn Korean, however, I feel comfortable communicating with him in English at home as my Korean is poor, therefore I don't think I should teach him a language which I'm not a master. Wouldn't you agree that I should leave Korean teaching to the Korean teachers?"

You see if you leave the question back to them while affirming their mastery, they wouldn't get offended.

BTW, your son will be OK at learning multiple languages at once. At first, he might get confused but eventually he'll be able to differentiate one language from the other. His verbal skills might be slower than the rest of the other kids, but by age 5, he'll be the leader of the pack. But I think you know that already.

[Scotticus]

So your child is half Filipino-half American/Canadian/whatever? Why the *beep* would they expect your child to be learning Korean AT ALL, let alone using it at home as one of their main languages? Are you or your wife fluent in Korean? Otherwise it would actually be detrimental for you to try and use Korean at home - what's the point of learning a language if you're learning it incorrectly (*I'm looking at you Korea, and the mountain of English errors you preach as canon that makes native teacher's jobs harder when it comes to ACTUALLY teaching the language*)?

I think you handled it well: you were polite until she tossed respect out the window. If she didn't want to hear your truthful answer, she should have done the Confucian thing and dropped it so everyone saved face. Instead she pushed and pushed and got her little feelings hurt when you told her that Korean is completely useless outside of this tiny strip of land we're currently on.

Ooh, better yet - you should have told her you were thinking of teaching him a useful language like Chinese or Japanese.

[poet13]

Ok. Lots' of good, interesting responses.

In reverse order, cause that's the way they come up on the screen.

Girlygirl. Straight up, I think I was diplomatic to the point where I stood up straight, rather than bending over backwards....I think I maintained my own cultural principals without trying to make excuses of why I wasn't adjusting.

esetters21. I think you're absolutely right... and so's the other guy.

Tenporary. I like the technical parts of learning that you talked about....but the shity day? Nope. I had just had a rocking, full-on affirmative class that made it all worth it.

whatever. Yup. But see esetters21.

I'm no Picasso. Yeah, it took a lot to light my fuse. I did try so hard though.

buymybook. I don't think it was baiting. It was just a silly teacher who wouldn't let go. (They have lots of other stuff to get me on if they want that.)

tigercat. Yeah, it seems like it was super personal. We'll see what happens tomorrow when I go in. I'm happy to still play diplomat....to a point.

[Oreovictim]

Whatever you do, don't go back to your coworkers and say, "Well, you're right. I would teach them, but my Korean is really limited." If you say that, someone would probably jump in and say that they'll teach your child for ___ an hour. Either that, or have you teach one of their kids English in exchange.

[michaelambling]

When your son is making $500,000 as an executive brokering deals between Philippine, Korean, and American companies, make sure that he sends your co-worker a nice gift. Maybe a Korean primer.

[Typhoon]

One of the best ways to learn a language is to speak one language at school and another at home. For example, if you live in Korea your child should speak Korean at school and then your native language at home. I know of several Korean families that do this. And guess what? Their kids are fluent in English because of it. It also works this way in any other country. Whatever the kids aren't using during the day at school they should use at home. OP you are right on the money. Don't worry about the average Korean. They just don't understand how to learn languages...that is why Korea as a nation has spent so~~~ much money on learning English, but have not got results in proportion to the amount of money spent.

[jkelly80]

A nation of children.